Thursday, June 30, 2011

The Lucky Trio

I'm not gonna post a description to this. It just looks nice, right? I'll leave it at that. Nice draw for the last day of the month, don't you think? Of course if anyone has any thoughts, you're welcome to post them about what this means to you.

Lightning is striking outside and the lights were flickering so I think I may turn off the computer now.

Magic Mentha

And the Winner of the Giveaway is...

Using, out of our four, fabulous contestants, we have Helen of My Wings of Desire, who wins the prize. Helen, please e-mail me with your mailing address. Enjoy your Epically Epic bounty!  Hugs to those that did not win, but come back soon since I like to have giveaways periodically. Hope everyone has a wonderful July.

Note: sorry for the delay in posting. I was not able to get in to Blogger today until this afternoon.

Magic Mentha

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

June Recap Reading

At the end of each month, or the beginning of the next, I like to make a review of what that month was like and what I learned, what problems I had, what good things happened, etc!

So June. June...hrm. I'm thinking about it now. How did June feel? Well, like much of this year, we had the theme of waiting--of trying to contend with what IS and trying to make what IS better, but there was an added element, a bolt of lightning (thankfully not in the seizure sense!) that illuminated things.

In short: I realized that I couldn't contend with my daughter's crazy symptoms on the B-12 shots and I wanted to see if they were working. Originally we weren't sure if we'd test the levels until August because we wanted to make sure we didn't squander our precious funds to test something which may not be improving; we wanted to wait as long as possible for the impacts of the shots to be felt.

However, I realized not long after the two month mark that I really wanted to know if it was doing any good. So on the 16th we sent in that urine sample and now we wait. But our wait is about to end, as we're anticipating the results within a week. I think The Fool injects a bit of levity to our position and a smiling/sighing 'heeere we go again!' as we go down another rabbit hole of confusion and hope.

The communication highlights, I think, both my husband's and my occasionally sparring-infused attempts to be more authentic in our communication and the power that is generated by that (both for good and ill!) as words can be very powerful, as much as deeds. I think the whole electricity/lightning thing is there, but I'm not quite sure what to make of that.

Again it seems like maybe sparks flying--the volatility of trying to find answers in an uncertain storm, but knowing we'll make it through somehow, if a little crispy around the edges. It's funny because as I'm writing this, my daughter is watching a Miss Spider video and they're in a thunder and lightning storm, trying to find shelter. AND today, despite the 100+ degree temperature, we had a freak rain shower and lightning storm that cooled the sweat-inducing heat down almost forty degrees in a matter of minutes! We definitely needed the rain and it looks like it may rain again. I love that!

On another note, isn't the way this photographed cool? It has to do with the lighting outside. Even though the windowsill is illuminated, one side of the image is darker than the other, but interestingly, that is the side where there are darker cards, anyway (Power and Ending) that have black backgrounds. Makes for a visually interesting reading which highlights a kind of yin/yang feeling of balance.

Hope everyone has a beautiful July, filled with just the right mixture of excitement and calm.

Magic Mentha

One Last Reminder: June Giveaway! Winner Chosen Tomorrow Morning!

Photo by Allison of Epically Epic Soap Company, edited by me in Be Funky

Tomorrow morning (not sure of the exact time, so enter ASAP so you get in on time) I'll be choosing a winner to the June Giveaway of four Epically Epic Soap Company Lip Balms in all their glory. If you haven't entered, please feel free to do so now by visiting this link and commenting on the post as indicated. For those folks who live in a different time zone, the drawing will be done on the morning of June 30th, USA, Mountain Time.

Big Hugs and Good Luck,
Magic Mentha

Anniversary Answer Deck Reading

A mixed bag: wedding anniversary reading
I was FINALLY able to get images uploaded (I tried a few things but it didn't work) so here's the draw I did last night for today.

Today's my wedding anniversary and with the Lovers card in the center, this makes me think it may refer to that, at least in part.

The top trio consisting of Lady, Judgment and Mistake, makes me think of my husband's lying (insert long-winded explanation which I don't want to launch into) and the Judgment/choice he made in doing so, including the choice not to do it again.

In the second row we have the aforementioned Lovers card in the center, flanked by Anxiety and Inspiration cards. To me this feels more like me. I'm the worrier, big time. I also associate myself (though very loosely nowadays) with the creative aspect of the Inspiration card. But this card also brings to mind the Lenormand meaning of finding a solution. I'm hoping this shows this solution with regards to my life and its stresses.

In the last, bottom row we have Wealth, Generosity and Communication. I think this may refer to our desire this year to be especially generous with our anniversary gifts. We've been through a lot-- as individuals, as a couple and as a family with my daughter's health issues. I gave my husband a large gift certificate to one of his favorite sites and I think he is going to give me something generous, too, but he only hinted at it but hasn't said anything much about it today, though he's stressed and has to do some presenting at a meeting today.

The Communication card makes me think of us trying to communicate more authentically, which is not always easy, that's for sure.  Something else comes to mind when I see the Communication card, which is the phone lines. Maybe someone will try to call me today and wish me a happy anniversary. To be honest I don't like talking on the phone because my daughter interrupts constantly but I appreciate the sentiment nonetheless.

Magic Mentha

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Hearing from the Doc: Eyes on the Prize

I pulled these cards yesterday but haven't posted them yet. Perhaps they'll come to pass soon? It seems to me, and I hope it's true, that we'll be hearing some good news for my daughter's doctor soon. Honestly, I would not be surprised if it was today or sometime this week, since I got the King of Pentacles as my daily card today, and that's his card.

We're expecting the urinalysis results from the test we gave our daughter on June 16th. This test's purpose is to see if the B-12 shots and other supplements to bring up her deficiency levels are, in fact, working. This sounds like a simple thing. It should work, right?

Well, the supplemental (sublingual) B-12 did not work initially. It is not uncommon to have to use the subcutaneous injection instead, as it distributes more slowly and lasts longer in the body.  We began giving her the B-12 shots on March 30, after first starting some methylation support with folinic acid a couple weeks prior.  We stopped the shots after 2.5 months of treatment in preparation for the test. The doc claimed that a two month trial is usually done, then tests performed to see if it's working, and then usually things are continued for a while longer (a few months?) if it is working.

Sooo...right now we're waiting to hear from the doctor as to whether we were successful. These cards seem to indicate that with time, patience and, of course, diligence, we'll likely be victorious. The 'Lesson' card makes me think of a couple things. First it sort of strengthens the meaning of diligence. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because both feel 'schooly' to me. You have to apply yourself, you have to work hard. It could also be a visual cue where the doctor shows us the results on the computer screen (this age's answer to a chalk board).  That's how it usually works. He gets the results in, we make an appointment to see him and he shows us what the results are (usually something totally crazy that we're not expecting, which is why it's good to test it) and then he tells us the plan for what we do next.

Here's hoping!

Magic Mentha

Monday, June 27, 2011

The Month of July Answer Deck Reading

Dearest Darlings,

I admit that I am not quite sure what to make of this. There are a couple ways to go with this 'July Outlook' reading. I could be upbeat about it and say, 'Hey, this is great! It's saying that all the challenge, anxiety and storms are ending!' OR I could be totally pessimistic and say, 'Greeeeeat. It's saying that whatever peace we have is ending and we're in for some major challenge, stress and more seizures!'

Boy, what a difference, right? I'm going to try to do neither. I am not going to impose crazy, unrealistic, uninformed expectations on either one. I think that's just a recipe for disaster. Instead, I am simply going to be present and see what unfolds.

Of course, like with my other readings, I will see what comes up and probably have a better idea of how accurate this was after the fact. I always take these things with a grain of salt. 

Magic Mentha

Sunday, June 26, 2011

One Last Reminder About the June Epically Epic Soap Lip Balm Giveaway!

Epically Epic Lip Balms, Photos by Allison
Hi Folks,

Don't forget to enter the June Giveaway! The drawing will be on June 30th (in just 4 days) so enter for your chance to win four distinct, luscious, natural lip balms by the amazing Allison of Epically Epic Soap Company. See you then!


Magic Mentha

Two Answer Deck Readings, Recurring Cards

Click to enlarge
I pulled these cards the other night when I was on a roll/kick with this deck. I am not quite sure what to make of these cards (see left). The 'Loss' and 'Ending' cards are ones I've seen several times over the past few days since taking this deck out to use.

Let me say that these cards aren't exactly my favorites from the deck. They make me nervous, but I'm trying not to be nervous about what they could mean. For all I know, it's not about me, but about one of my sisters who is having serious relationship problems. But of course I don't want anything bad to happen with her, either. Still, it's an interesting recurring duo, though not necessarily the most cheerful.

When I look at these cards it seems plausible that the dark-haired woman has a surprise loss/ending would refer to my sister because, one week before her wedding was to occur, she found out the highly unpleasant secret that her fiance had a serious addiction problem. Now she is reassessing the whole relationship as he gets help.

Anyway, I won't go into detail about this and even though none of my relatives and few friends know about this blog I don't want to accidentally make anything public. In the second set of cards I'm posting I see a much more positive possibility. If this is still referring to this sister, I hope this shows a positive, peaceful transition, something good to fall back on. A good development. I hope so.

Click to enlarge
This second pull may also make sense. Patience is required for this situation, and time. But again, these cards could be about me and not about this sister at all. I really, honestly don't know.

I like the feeling of the dark sky in the Ending card transitioning to the lightening of the sky in the Peace card. Things will get better again, though from the looks of the Patience card, it won't happen too quickly. It will take time and healing, and treatment.

My husband thinks things will work out between them in the end. I do think this is the case. Regardless of what happens with her current circumstances I want her to find the peace and happiness she deserves.

Magic Mentha

Saturday, June 25, 2011

The Answer Deck is Optimistic

I'm not feeling well. I don't mean that I'm sick, have the flu or some other thing. I mean I just don't feel well. I've had a headache that is recurring for a few days now and I feel nauseated, tired and icky. And no, I'm not pregnant. I'm just run down. My daughter's sleep is screwed up again (!@?!#!!!) and I am experiencing lots of body aches and headaches that I can't seem to alleviate, despite my best efforts.

I'm thinking it's mostly stress. There may be some other contributing factors but I do think that's the main culprit. My body feels like it's just giving out. It's just burnt out and tired and, like me, wanting to just give it up. But of course I am not giving up, just need to take a serious break or two. The best I can do at the moment is try to take a couple hours when my husband gets home. I hope my headache isn't so bad that I can't enjoy it at all. I just feel icky. Lately when I try to take breaks I often get hit by a massive headache right as I'm trying to relax, which of course does not help the whole relaxation process.

WELL, anyway. Couple this with my daughter's aforementioned sleep problems, and worsening mood problems (so far today she's kicked and hit me) and I really don't know what to do but throw my hands up and just give in and say, 'Ok...F-this. I just need to get away.' So I am going to try to do that some this weekend, even though my husband's on call and my ability to go out more than a couple hours at a time is limited. But I need to do my best to handle the situation as well as I can under the circumstances that I have. That's all we can do. We have to make the best of it, no matter how crummy we might feel.

I'm surprised at how positive the deck was in response to my silent scream about how I'm feeling. Maybe it's just trying to say that happiness is possible? Maybe there's hope after all? Well, I don't know. Nice try, Answer Deck. I sure hope you're right because if it turns out there's no end to this and nothing is going to improve then...well, I have no idea what I am going to do.

Magic Mentha

Friday, June 24, 2011

Sexual Frustration or Frustrated with Sex Stuff


So maybe this is one of those TMI readings. I don't (usually) shy away from those topics, though sometimes if I'm feeling particularly self-protective. When I pulled these cards I thought of how I occasionally get sexually frustrated because (generally speaking) I have a higher sex drive than my husband. Yeah, I doesn't fit the stereotype but guess what? Stereotypes aren't always right.  In reading Dr. Schnarch's relationship books I've understood that there are just as many low desire male partners as there are female. That's normal. And, he said, in a relationship there is ALWAYS a high and low desire partner for just about anything. Example: a high desire partner to have a baby (usually but not ALWAYS the woman), or a high desire partner to get a boat/car/whatever. There's always gonna be someone who wants something MORE.

SOOO yes. This duo accurately describes how I want IT more often than my husband does. That isn't to say he's a cold fish about s-e-x, but he just isn't as randy as I am, y'know? ANYWAY. I do note that, as with anything, pushing him for sex is not a good idea. No one likes to be pressured, especially for something so intimate and personal as sex. I've realized that when I relax about it it goes best. Sometimes if I gently introduce the idea or just test the waters, that's fine. That's not such a bad idea. But I think I need a better way to deal with this frustration and see where it may be coming from. I think that I am often the initiator when it comes to things. Not always, but pretty frequently. Especially in my relationship because I'm the Aries and my husband is the laid back, often-passive Libra. That's the downside to it. I guess the upside would be that over time we learn things from each other and about ourselves in this dynamic.


Magic Mentha

What's Lost and What's Gained: Ending, Loss and My Creativity

I am having trouble with this deck since I pulled it out but I suspect it has more to do with me being tired than it does with this deck. I was originally going to pull two cards and no more, but I was really curious what all this ending and loss was about. WTF?

So I did, but I ended up being more confused. The first pairing was Loss, Ending, Lady. Then I tried a second time and got Loss, Ending, Deception. Then Loss, Ending, Inspiration. Well, the end of deception sounds good and makes sense considering all the "white lies" my husband had been telling me which he vowed not to do again (re: the whole authenticity/trust issue) but the other two confuse me.

Then again, the loss of inspiration makes a lot of sense, too. I've lost my creative mojo (at least where painting/drawing goes, but maybe not in other ways). I know that energy goes somewhere, and right now it seems logical to assume that my creative and emotional energy are being used to help my daughter. I am good with that (even though I miss being creative visually) because I know there's good reason for me to be focusing so heavily on my daughter. She needs my care and attention.

I do feel that even though these cards evoke a kind of scary, negative feeling when you first look at them, but even if the loss is negative (and I have no way of knowing that for sure) it may still lead to a better beginning, and I think I can live with that.

Magic Mentha

Thursday, June 23, 2011

The Answer Deck: Patience with the Doc (or) Doctor and His Patient(s)

Maybe it's the black background on my blog that I just applied, or maybe it's something else, but I wanted to whip out the Answer Deck. I did some pulls but frankly I must've either been distracted or just incapable of interpreting them earlier. However, this pull seemed pretty basic. I don't know whether I simply have tarot reading ADHD right now or what. I like one or two card pulls best.

The Fair/Gray Haired Man card I've assigned to my daughter's DAN doctor. Like the Rider-Waite-Smith, I have a card for him (King of Pentacles) and I can't help but see that when I get this card. That's a good thing, because normally I would be racking my brain trying to find out who this mysterious man is. Unlike with the RWS decks, I am usually out of luck. IMHO it's not easy deciphering the people represented in the Answer Deck unless you have strong, pre-assigned meanings to them. But then again, this may just be my own issue.

This doctor is looking over at the hour-glass. Key word is Patience. Great card, great reminder. Patience and persistence are two huge things that are important to success (and honestly, happiness). I do think this shows my need for patience when it comes to my daughter's health. It's hard because this truly is something that spans months, years, rather than days, weeks. It's the furthest thing from instant gratification but it's incredibly important. It may also indicate that he thinks time is limited, or perhaps he thinks that he wants to do things in a certain time frame. I am not sure, but patience and timing are certainly called for. This card reminds me of Temperance in that sense.

Anyway, just my thought on it.

Magic Mentha

p.s. the Doctor and His Patience was a funny/dumb pun I thought of when I saw these cards together...

Great Reversed Judgement Description

Mentha's Note: This is great! This is a perfect example of a nudge from the tarot. I had this blog post mostly typed up (see below for the description of the reversed card, etc) from a pull I did this morning and then for some reason I decided not to post it. Part of the reason is that I couldn't find a photo of Judgement that I'd taken and I like to take most of my own photos when possible. So I saved the blog post as a draft and forgot about it. Fast forward to this afternoon. Even though I posted about my dental visit (YAWN!) I really wanted to do another reading that didn't have to do with mundane crap like dentistry. So I decided, after doing a few 3 and 4 card readings which seemed (oddly?) too complicated to me, that I would just pull ONE card instead and post that. So I pulled Judgement and I suddenly remembered my reading in draft format. So since my daughter is oddly weepy today (imbalance?) I need to post this quick and go tend to her.

As usual, I love to recommend the site Crystal Clear Reflections, for Diana's wonderful, invaluable descriptions of the tarot. Her reversed descriptions are particularly impressive as many tarot readers don't know how to read reversals or don't put as much attention to them. Here's a card I pulled for myself which puts into words so much that I've been feeling. Here's the first part of the reversed Judgement description:

Judgement (R) - You are feeling uneasy, lonely - longing to be free of certain situations but you can not see the way out. Acknowledge when you are tired - when you are feeling low and would like to know which way to go. 

Make it known that you wish to answer the call but you do not know what to do. Stop fearing the unknown - review your life and make new plans for the future. Release yourself - do not allow your fears to keep you locked into this situation. Never allow regrets and remorse to build. 

Direct the course of your life by examining and altering any self- destructive behavioral patterns. Break away from old, limiting habitual patterns. Plant new seeds in your sub-conscious - be willing to try new ideas, a new job or even consider moving far away and starting over again. 

If loneliness is affecting your judgment - go deep within and find help. Your objections are only "excuses" which have become dominant in your life. Your life has changed - only your choice remains.

Dental Visit Reading

I got back from my dentist appointment about half an hour ago. My husband had to immediately leave for work since he leaves at 9 and I got home from my appointment a few minutes after 9, so he was running a bit late, anyway. So when I pulled the strength card as the first card, I had to laugh. The Strength card shows a woman/angel taming a lion and I know several readers  (myself included) who notice the mouth/teeth/jaws in this card and its associated meaning of dental care.

In the second card I drew (the 5 of Pentacles) I also had to laugh because I was totally BEMOANING the fact that I had to pay a $75 yearly deductible on TOP of the cost of the two fillings. I thought that was ridiculous and I generally hate deductibles. Why buy insurance when you have all these dumb fees and deductibles to meet? Anyyywayy. Pet peeve!! Our health system is jacked up. Anyway. I think the 5 of Pentacles simply refers to how much money we have to pay out of pocket. My husband had his recent root canal (it's a tooth that had several root canals years ago when he was a pre-teen) that also needed to be crowned. So that was $300 out of pocket. Even though we're doing better financially this year, by far, than the past few years where we were scraping money and begging for money, actually, for my daughter's biomedical treatments, we still have a ton of expenses and they seem to keep coming.

But my idea is to stay optimistic about the idea of having enough money and not think we don't. I do still think we're Ok but jeez...why does life have to be expensive? Oh well. It's just money and we are doing better than a great many people and I feel badly for the millions of people without insurance coverage or even basic health care. It's just sad!! And it's so pointless. It doesn't have to be this way and I am looking forward to when we can move past this caveman-like health care system.

I probably shouldn't have pulled so many cards because I simply confused myself, but the emotional and visual feeling from the 5 and 10 of Swords, for me, was one of ce la vie! OHHH WELL. Just have to do it so I may as well give up (5 of Swords), lie down and give it up (10 of Swords). And hopefully, at least, I'll get this crap out of the way so I won't have to go back for a while.

Presiding over these cards is the 9 of Pentacles and the Hierophant. These are the ones I had trouble understanding but you have to figure I'm only going on a few hours of sleep. I had a 7 am dental appointment, didn't get to sleep until about 1 am, and then my daughter woke up (from a nightmare? needing to poop/pee?) at 3am and was awake for a while. Then I had to get up at 6 am. OYE. Tiring. Amazingly, I don't feel too badly. Perhaps the 9 of Pentacles simply shows some rest and relaxation, some time to myself, which hopefully I'll get this weekend, but not yet. At the moment, though, my daughter is blissfully allowing me some time alone as she hides out in her room playing or whatnot.

The other thought I had about the Hierophant is that it makes me think of the term 'authority'...I hate doctors and dentists and people in authority. No, I don't think I necessarily hate them as people but I had submitting to authority and I hate paying for it, too. I mean...who does, though? So this could just be pointing out that whole structure and authority thing that I balk so much against.

Magic Mentha

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

The Magical Offering of Wellness

I was going to post this several hours ago but Blogger seems to have had some issues with uploading pictures to blog posts. ANYWAY. It seems to be resolved now so I'll go ahead and post this reading that I did yesterday early evening. I was sitting outside in the (too-tall) grass when I took a photo of this, hence the weird blades of grass which don't really look like grass in front of a couple of the cards.

As I looked at these cards I noted, first of all, that the King and Queen of Pentacles were both present. Normally I might not know what to make of this, but in this case, I've assigned associations for my daughter's doctors, who are both NDs and are married. They're the King and Queen of Pentacles.

To be totally honest I wasn't quite sure how to interpret the trio of cards below them. You have the Magician, the Page of Cups and the Ace of Pentacles. The combination felt like some sort of offering. Some magical offering of health (Ace of Pents) or perhaps even money, though that seems unlikely since we're the ones shelling out the $$ for the appointments and tests. So I'm thinking it's something new (page and ace both point to newness) in the realm of health and children (page=child).

The Magician just lends a feeling of fresh confidence to the reading. It is like someone slapping you on the back saying, 'you can do this!' Or, if you're feeling more cheesy you can quote a cartoon (He-Man) and say, 'By the POWER of GreySKULL!' (See this link for what I'm talking about. It's pretty funny.)


Magic Mentha

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Stopping the Shots

Hi Folks,

Well, I know I said I wasn't going to blog until June 30th, but what the heck. I may not blog very much but at least I wanted to share this pull with you. It was a very direct response to a very direct question, which is always nice to see in tarot, particularly if you feel you've lost your mojo as I have felt recently.

On to the reading. So yesterday I finally heard back from my daughter's doctor. He was out of town for over a week, which we found out at the end of last week by calling in to the center. I was frustrated because I sincerely wanted, needed to KNOW what to do about her B-12 shots. To continue to wait until we get her urine test results in to see if her deficiency is up, or what?

We noted my daughter's behavior going downhill over the past couple of months since starting the shots. Does this mean they aren't working? No, definitely not. Behavior/mood and hyperactivity increase are all indicated for B vitamins, especially high doses like this to get levels up. But despite the beneficial nature of the supplements it is suck-tastic to have such side effects!!

ANYWAY. We had to remove all of the brain/nervous-system boosting supplements four days prior to testing. We decided to leave them off for a couple days beyond this, to see how she did. At first she did spectacularly well the first 4-5 days off all vitamins (including the B-12 shots) and then we noted her behavior and mood going downhill.

On day six plus we decided maybe we should put her back on the vitamins, but we weren't sure if we should reduce the amounts of certain vitamins (particularly the B vitamins that I mentioned) or not. And since, as I mentioned, my daughter's doc was out of town we didn't have him to ask.

So, a couple days ago I tentatively put her back on her vitamins, but a modified version. I removed the zinc, which she had been deficient in. He told me a month or two ago that usually a zinc trial was only a month or two. It's been four months now and so I opted to remove zinc. Then I added back some of the basics. I continued to leave off the iron because of the constipation issue, and I reduced her B6 dose by about a third or so. I went back on the folinic acid and the B-12 shot that was due that night. The folinic acid is needed in conjunction with the B-12, for absorption purposes. Insert jargon here.

Anyway...her mood improved slightly but was still a bit off. Feeling a tad frustrated but knowing that a.) I don't know what her levels are or what she's lacking and b.) I don't know that I can do anything about it until we get her results in early July, I decided to just wait and keep the status quo with the modified plan I'd placed my daughter on.

Thankfully, yesterday (Monday) I finally got a note from her doctor. He apologized for the delay and explained that he had been out of town. He then confirmed that the mood issue was likely from the P5P (the active form of B6) and the B-12. He mentioned removing them for about a week then re-introducing at 1/4 or 1/2 dose. This made me feel a bit better because it's essentially (almost exactly) what I'd done anyway. Then I asked whether or not I was supposed to continue the B-12 shots since she was due for one that night. He replied back that I should do what I think is best because he can't say since we don't have the data in yet from her urine test and that since I am with her I can better assess how she's doing on or off certain things. While this is true it's also frustrating and difficult to figure out. I just acknowledge that and said I'd see him in a few weeks when the results were in.

SOO yes, more waiting. That's the nature of the game. BUT when her doctor put the ball in my hands for a decision on whether to continue the shots or not while we wait for results, I decided to turn to the tarot (in conjunction with my own feelings on it, of course) and I was hopeful that I'd get a clear answer. First I whipped out my Albano-Waite Mini and then I said, 'Ooook, then. So should I stop the B-12 shots?'  I got Death. I thought that seemed like it was saying 'stop' but I wasn't sure. I wanted some confirmation. Especially since I wasn't sure if that meant the B6 or the B12.

The confirmation I got was quite impressive, actually. I received the Ace of Swords, which is the card I've come to associate with the B-12 shots. So Death+Ace of Swords to me seemed pretty clearly to mean stopping the B-12. My husband said he felt that was the right thing to do, too. It was great to see it so clearly represented in the cards.

Anyway, I just thought I'd share that!

Magic Mentha

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Rest of June Blog Break and Quick Giveaway Reminder

Hi Folks,

I just wanted to first remind you to enter the June Giveaway for FOUR Epically Epic Lip Balms (drawing is on the 30th), and also just to say that I am very sleepy and run down lately, and also relying too much on my cards (see this article, recommended by Pip, for more info!) and, most importantly, not focused enough on what might make me feel better in the NOW.

My plan is to return on June 30th to announce the winner of the aforementioned giveaway. I'll resume tarot blogging on July 1st if that seems appropriate. I'm also going to stop reading tarot entirely during this time. So no tarot, no blogging for the remainder of the month. I think I need a palate cleanser...

Have an excellent rest of June!

Thanks and Love,
Magic Mentha

Dodging Cupid's Arrow

Apologies for this photo. The photo was a bit dark (at least on top where the 5 of Coins is barely visible) and the image that you can't see too well is a cherub (Cupid?) with a heart that has been pierced by an arrow, but it's in shadow. This could be relevant, though. The key phrase to this card, oddly, is 'The Partner' and it talks about love and attraction and passion, but then it seems to take an entirely different tack and talk about money, more along the lines of the classic 5 of Coins meaning.

The other three cards are the Queen of Cups, the Empress and the Knight of Swords. This reading immediately made sense to me because I'm still in the midst of it. I've been feeling down about my relationship. Nothing too horrible is happening. Just life. Stress. We hardly get any time together, we sleep in separate bedrooms, we're too tired to enjoy each other at night. We have a daughter with health problems. We're just stressed.

I think that the problem also lies in the fact that when I'm stressed, I get needy. When my husband is stressed he withdraws. This is a classic story. While my husband is wonderful and unique and not typical dude in so many ways, in other ways he is classically male in the sense of (being trained by society) to remove himself emotionally when something is off. But he is definitely beginning to improve as far as involvement and authenticity goes.

But in the meantime, we still rarely have much time together, and we're still stressed. I guess I just feel sad about that. And, judging from the cards I got, I'm sad about motherhood and about my creativity (Empress). I still have a yearning to have another baby, and I'm still mourning that I can't access my creativity. I feel like I have no identity and I have no relationship. I know that this is an exaggeration but it is how I feel. I just feel adrift. I also feel very tired, which I am sure helps to exaggerate these feelings and situations.

The Knight of Swords comes through and cuts through the B.S. He looks like he means business. His key phrase he is the 'Fighter' and he has a 'solution to a problem'. So I guess this has to represent the part of me that wants to solve these problems and has the clarity of mind to do so. It also warns me in the description of not unwittingly hurting others in the process of trying to speak my truth. This is important, I'm sure, as I know I've been talking to my husband a lot about these issues and I have to be mindful of what I am saying and doing and seeing if it's really from a place of clarity and truth or merely rousing stress and tensions.

Magic Mentha

Magical Spell Cards: My Prize from the My Wings of Desire Giveaway!

A huge thanks to the lovely Helen of My Wings of Desire for this wonderful spell deck. I can't believe I won the May Giveaway. Thanks m'dear! I look forward to using it. Here are a few examples of cards and the info in the booklet. Forgive me. I'm too tired and lazy to edit the photos first.

Magic Mentha

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Law of Attractive Tarot Examples

Work on My Daughter's Case

When I pulled these cards I saw in them my daughter's treatment. The Three of Wands, to me, has always represented a 'right path' or stepping forward with virtue and purpose. The phrase that they give with this card makes sense. It says:

"Energy aimed at a purpose."

The card goes on to say that "when you take shortcuts or postpone decisions, you block the development of your potential." I think this card really does focus on the 'right action' aspect of this card. Making the right decisions and making progress because of them. I need to step up to what is required in each moment and not shirk it, even when it's scary.

In the middle car, the Star, we have the classic concept of healing. This card looks very much like an Osho Zen card, and there's a very similar image of a naked woman sitting on a lotus (I think a lotus, maybe not). But anyway. The card's key word is optimism, which is the card following the 'don't shirk the opportunities to change things' with a touch of 'buck up, things can improve greatly.' I think that's nice. At least it's something I would like to hear and know.

And finally, in this deck, I've assigned this card to my daughter's DAN doctor, and this (hopefully) shows him working behind-the-scenes on my daughter's health case. I know he and his wife (another ND) are both dedicated to helping kids with various health/neurological issues. I am definitely trying to let them do their job, even when sometimes there is spotty communication or lots of trial and error.

Magic Mentha

Monday, June 13, 2011

Two Readings About My Daughter's Treatment, Two Different Decks

Quick(ish) impressions:

Reading 1: (Law of Attraction Tarot)

The sense I got from this reading has to do with the anxieties we have about my daughter's treatment. Also the act of balancing all the elements. There are two 'two' cards, which is about balance. In this 2 of Coins we have (instead of the classic dude juggling by the tumultuous waves of the ocean) a woman who looks lost. She's trying to find her way. Right now it seems like she is utterly lost and in the wrong place but at any moment she's going to get some guidance that will help her move forward. In the second card a man sees a dark shadow that he recognizes as himself. This could just be about fearing the worst, or seeing demons where there aren't ones there.

In the latter part of the reading in the last two cards I see the man explaining the downward turn in something on a chart. To me this may be my daughter's DAN doctor showing us her urine test results (when they come in a couple weeks from now). If I take this very literally it shows a level of something going DOWN instead of up, which wouldn't be good news, but let's hope it's not THAT literal. I won't discount it, though.

Reading 2: (Albano-Waite Miniature Tarot)

In this reading I see myself in the first card, feeling sort of helpless as far as waiting things out. I may not be TOTALLY helpless, but it's a tough situation. I think this card is about the mental feeling of being trapped, which is definitely at play in this situation. But the rest of the cards, thankfully, seem pretty positive. 

The Ace of Pentacles is an offering of health given to the card next to it (my daughter's card, the Page of Wands) and the Page of Pentacles I see as a 'new health plan' perhaps a revised health plan as a result of the results we're seeing (or not seeing) with my daughter's treatment.  In the final card we see more 'home stability' which is what I see the Four of Wand as. Not just stability but initial accomplishment. It's not the end of the road, and we still have work to do but things are more stable, there's initial success.

Magic Mentha

Return of the Fetus Card

When I saw this pull today (I pulled another set of cards before this which I'll post in a bit) I wasn't quite sure what to think. However, the Queen of Cups combined with the King of Wands often makes me think of my parents because my dad is an Aries and my mom's a Scorpio. The Death/Rebirth card confuses me. I am still having a hard time but perhaps I am overthinking these cards or reassigning meaning to other people in my life because I am not sure what to think for my own life.

Interesting, though.

Magic Mentha

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Babies, Bald, Asexual Angels, Whipped Cream... (#@$!)

I got the Law of Attraction Tarot today as a 'I've been really stressed lately, I'll get myself something even though maybe I shouldn't' gift. This is one wacky deck. The artwork is a little too perfect/modern for my taste, but it's very interesting, as is the book. Some images are clichéd, even dumb or sexist, but most of them are truly awesome and strange. So that makes up for any gratuitous nudity or mediocrity.

I will post more draws with this deck tomorrow and the next several days, but I wanted to post this three card reading. WTF?!! I mean, I believe this is the Queen of Cups, Judgment and 10 of Cups. But wow. Strange, right? Not sure what to make of this.

I need to sleep on it. Obviously if you have an idea about it, let me know.

Magic Mentha

Friday, June 10, 2011

A Reading About My Day Trip

Click for the full-sized image
Dear Loves,

I'll make this quick since my hubs and daughter are waiting for me in the car. This reading, in my mind, is about my short trip (by myself) to Cheyenne tomorrow to see my long-time friend who lives there. I haven't seen her in over a year so it'll be great to visit her. She's getting on in age and I know she's often in pain, and I want to spend time with her while she's still fairly mobile and feisty.

I'm going alone because things are just too wonky with my daughter's mood and other health stuff and we don't know if a trip will go well, and I also need the alone time and break, so I make the hour drive there and back (two hours driving) plus a few hours there. I guess I'll be gone about 6 hours. 

Jeez. That seems like a long time to a stay-at-home mom who is not used to going away for that long. Of course I've done it once before last year. Then I suppose I did go to Colorado Springs to see three friends a year ago, too. 

Wow. SO yeah, I socialize like once a year. Haha, well I exaggerate, but not by much. I really do think I need to do this more often, because when I do it now, it seems like a huge deal and I actually almost have a social anxiety/phobia again because I have been so locked down in my little world of caretaking for my daughter and just getting through the day.  I do see my family periodically but my folks are currently out of town for two months and I really do need find ways to spend time with friends on evenings or weekends when my husband can watch my daughter.

Now I must flee! I'll see you all back here on Monday.

Magic Mentha

Four Cards for Four Days

Please note, Prince Lenormand, that my daughter is finally facing TOWARD someone!


When I pulled these cards about 15 minutes ago I was impressed by the accuracy of the cards relating to the topic I pulled them on. I've used these cards several times in the past few days and I've shuffled them a good deal, too. Even dropped them a few times (ugh) and had to pick them all up off my glitter-covered floor (long story, but I did get most of the glitter off of the floor).


These cards represent (allegedly) the next four days that my daughter has to be off of all her supplements. She cannot take any non-essential vitamins four days prior to her metabolic testing, where we find out whether or not the B-12 injections and other interventions are bringing up her deficient levels. Gosh, I REALLY, really hope so.

Sooooo, I have no idea how she'll act or react without ALL of her supplements, including those B-12 shots. It could be ugly, OR things could be better. Or I may not even notice much of a difference. I don't quite know. I guess it depends on what is happening with her, which we really don't know yet until we get things tested. Ahh the happy Catch-22. It's OK, though, I am just glad the Wheel is beginning to turn. I need some answers!!!

The Fool can be a neutral card at times but I didn't necessarily get that feeling with this card. To me this card is primarily positive unless paired with a negative card. Trust, openness, newness, going on an adventure or being carefree (see speech bubble) are all concepts that are relevant in this card. When I saw this card as representing not having to give my daughter supplements twice a day every day I saw it as a VACATION from doing so since it brings a lot of STRESS and STRUGGLE to have to do it and every. single. time. we do it my daughter fights against it. So, despite how she reacts biochemically to not having those supplements in her system, I'm going to be glad not to have to administer them to her (under duress). Whew.

The Wheel of Fortune also denotes change in general. Again, the Fool and the Wheel of Fortune could both be neutral events but usually they are positive. Usually they show change and trust in a path. So that isn't such a bad duo to have with this. Normally getting two court cards might annoy me if I had no idea who they were referring to but because I am asking about my daughter's treatment with her DAN doctor, what could be more appropriate than getting a card representing my daughter (Page of Wands) and her DAN doctor (King of Pentacles)?

Of course, the King of Pentacles is now facing away from my daughter, as I think our recent attempts to get him to understand how frustrated we were actually just made him withdraw further. He has hardly responded to us, though he did find us a test that is a couple hundred dollars cheaper, which I appreciate. I just wish he was more communicative while we're having stress about what to do about my daughter's treatment and its side effects.

I think it was a perfect pull. I hope it spells good things for us.

Magic Mentha

Kitchen Sink Reading

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Tarot Sleuthing: Why the Headaches?

I've stopped eating dairy entirely over the past week or two and that is what I THOUGHT the main source of my headaches are, but apparently it's not the only source. And it doesn't seem entirely hormonal either, because my period was a week ago and my hormones are usually pretty mellow the week after my period. What gives?!!

So here is the tarot pull I did on the topic. My version of tarot sleuthing. Whodunit?! I still haven't figured out the answer yet, but there are clues. If this reading is correct, it is likely multiple reasons. The Empress suggests that motherhood plays a major role (since it's the first card in the pull and the Empress is the quintessential mother) and the Magician is the self confidence/power card which makes me think that perhaps feeling powerless or lacking in confidence may be exacerbating the issue.

The final card is the only minor arcana card, so maybe this card (which always looks to me like ovaries) is saying that hormones play a minor role in it. I'm starting to think my very early or original theory of stress (due to parenting my daughter with health issues) is still the major cause of the headaches. But I really am not sure.

Magic Mentha

p.s. Sincere apologies to those who are sick of the RWS. I promise to use the Heart of Faerie Oracle, Goddess Guidance and Tarot Fauxbergé this month, too, as promised. Well, I mean, I will try anyway. Hehe. Something about the Albano-Waite Mini really pulls on me lately!

The Cards Mention the Points of Balance, Relationship Books I'm Reading

Today when I pulled the cards I really wasn't sure what to expect. Sometimes I can literally tell exactly what cards will come up (or close to it) but lately I am allowing myself to be truly surprised and not trying to structure my questions or coerce the cards in any direction. In fact, this approach is sort of how I'm approaching my life, too. Not passively as in, 'f-this, I give up.' But as 'OK, let's see what is really going on, not just what I'm fearing, obsessing over, or trying to force to happen.' It's the closest to Zen as I think I'll get, because I am simply too feisty to be truly Zen. ;D

Take today's cards. When I saw them I felt amused. Hence the thought bubbles. Thanks Prince Lenormand! Anyway...I've been spending a lot of time lately reading Dr. David Schnarch's wonderful relationship books. They're incredibly innovative and helpful and I recommend them to anyone, even if you're not in a love relationship. They can apply to anyone in any situation with anyone else, or if a person simply wants to be more solid within themselves. 

I've realized how insanely dependent on a reflected sense of self and external validation I am. Besides being a very naturally Highly Sensitive Person (another great book), I'm also very prone to losing my sense of self, and quick. You know the old adage that you can't love anyone until you love yourself? Well, this is like what Dr. Schnarch's books are about, but in a much more thorough and eye-opening way. It really amazes me how strongly these forces are operating in my relationship (and relationships of my past) allll the time. I wanted to share this with you all because I hope it will help you, too. But if nothing else I am just explaining what this reading triggered in my mind.

You see the images showing give and take. Couples exchanging words or vows, a man giving to the needy, an angel balancing his holy cups. There's this idea of balance. But as per the books, it's not about losing yourself, or compromising. It's about standing more strongly on your own two feet. That's what I saw and I don't necessarily need to explain it more, BUT if you are interested in reading a free but very helpful tidbit, then feel free to pop over and read this article on the Four Points of Balance™and try it out for yourself.

Magic Mentha

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

My Parent's Departure to the Valley

This is funny because I totally didn't mean to leave that griffin thingo in the middle of the image. I forgot to delete it. But I have a headache and I just want to finish this post. So please enjoy the bonus, though badly placed, mythical beast in this reading.

When I pulled today's cards I saw in them my parent's departure to the Valley, where they have a ranch house on our family property--my grandpa's land purchase from the eighties. Up until a few years ago, they lived there for almost twenty years, and I know they miss it.

Because my dad is an educator he gets off a month or two in the summer (though not usually the whole summer because he has to leave late and come back early because he works with title schools and on grants and the behind-the-scenes things getting funding and implementing changes for schools.

This year, my parents are able to leave a bit early (June 9) and come back late (first day or so of August) rather than be gone slightly less than a month. This is good news for them, but perhaps bad news for me. Another thing I realized when I looked at these cards is I accidentally photographed the 10 of Pentacles upside-down. I am not reading reversals right now so that confused me when I saw that I had done that after the fact, but that makes sense.

The 10 of Pentacles, upright, represents security and family and tradition, depicting parents and grandparents, and the reversal of the card would make sense in this case. One of my few sources of security--one of the very few places I can take my daughter to visit with her grandma and papa, will not be there for almost two whole months, while I flounder entirely by myself at home for ten hours a day with my very moody daughter.

Yes, I realize I'll be OK but I was surprised at how upset I was at their leaving. Last year I was not as stressed about it. They weren't gone as long but I also wasn't as stressed. My daughter's issues were still present but due to a recent resurgence of negative behavioral and other symptoms I've found myself panicking at what to do all day long every day with a child that is so emotionally and physically unstable that she can't even go into a normal store without melting down or running rampant. I feel tethered to the house because it's the only place where I can keep her mostly under control, and that's not even guaranteed.

This will hopefully be at least somewhat alleviated if we ever get an answer from her DAN doctor and other specialist, but we keep getting the runaround from them and they want us to pay more to come in to consult with them. But it's a hundred dollars (or more) a pop to visit with them and it's not covered by insurance and we fear that we will just run out of money before anything is actually resolved. We expressed our concern about this in a note to her doctors but I haven't checked to see if they have answered yet. I am nervous because I fear so much is riding on this and my daughter's issues.

ANYWAY...back to the reading.

The Knight of Wands makes me think of my parents traveling, and you can even see the mountains of the Valley in the background. The Queen of Cups is my mom, the scorpio, and I was hoping my dad would show up but he isn't in the picture. It makes sense in a way because he's generally at work when I visit my mom with my daughter. He does come by and hangs out with us for a bit if he can get away from work, but it would make sense logistically that my primary source of emotional support and weekly visiting companion would be my mother.

The Judgement card is harder for me to interpret but it makes me think of them 'waking up in the morning' and leaving, because they're leaving tomorrow morning. But it could certainly be more about the fact that it's a wake-up call that I need more help and support, or I need something better than the status quo to get me through the summer.

Magic Mentha

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Giving Up or Struggling: Facets of My Dilemma with My Daughter

I've been trying to really be honest about what I see in the cards, even when it doesn't paint me in the best light. Take today's cards for instance. In this reading, I see my daughter (the Page of Wands) and the King of Pentacles (her DAN doctor) and I see me, in the Five of Pentacles and the Eight of Cups, wanting to give up on it all or to just incessantly struggle and worry about it.

I think maybe you could even attribute each minor to the court next to it. For instance, I could say that the Eight of Cups is paired with my daughter. I want to leave all of this behind, sometimes I even fantasize about getting terminally ill so I don't have to deal with this situation anymore, but more than anything I just want it to be resolved. Other times I just wish I had never become a mother. All are ways of escaping. I know the Eight of Cups can be a meaningful escape or leaving...a choice, but in my case I feel like this shows my desire to escape, the escapism itself.

In the second row we have the Five of Pentacles and the King of Pentacles. I often find myself thinking how insanely expensive the treatments are (the supplements, the visits themselves which are not covered by insurance, not most of them anyway) and how I worry about the financial impact of that, and also the worrying in general, which the Five of Pentacles tends to represent.

Worrying about physical things is the main meaning for the Five of Pentacles, which the situation with my daughter definitely highlights. Worrying about the health issues themselves is a big deal as is worrying about the constant shelling out of money to figure out what's wrong and treat it, even though I keep thinking we're not doing enough to change the situation.

Also, these two minors could be seen as two types of energy. The Eight of Cups shows someone setting out in search of something else. If you're struggling (see the Five of Pentacles) just leaving and setting out for something new sounds pretty appealing. So this also shows the temptation to escape, the contrast between escape and hanging in during hard times. 

But in the end, I know that I would never give up on my daughter, and I would never allow my fear of financial security, or my fear of what is happening with her health to get in the way of solving things. My motherly protective instincts are still stronger with my fears, even though I struggle with these fears and feelings of overwhelm every day.

Magic Mentha

Monday, June 6, 2011

Four Card Voyager Reading

Queen of Pentacles, Eight of Pentacles, Empress, Sun

O.K. I am stumped. I am not sure what any of this means. Parenting seems prominent in it, with the Empress and the pregnant woman in the Queen of Worlds. Not sure about the Eight of Worlds which is normally craftsmanship or trade. This doesn't seem as much about that. Odd.

Magic Mentha

The Way to Happiness

I'm not even going to interpret this. Maybe tomorrow. I feel a bit Massive Headwound Harry-ish™ today.

Magic Mentha

The Zen Reading

My daughter brought me in this beautiful, first poppy from the garden in its persimmon-tinged, crinkly loveliness. I had to share. I decided to use it next to the cards I pulled for today.

My daughter's issues are still on my mind...rather our predicament in trying to help her but often being rebuffed (see the image in the Four of Cups, which reminds me of her fighting with us about taking her supplements). Add to that all the mood, behavior, sleep and other issues, and the concept of getting her off medications amidst all this.

To me, the cards were telling me to give it a rest. Take some time to withdraw from it. The Hermit and the Four of Swords are not exactly 'action' cards. This tells me that I need to wait for the next move, not go charging forward, unarmed with the correct information, simply to get something done.

I also think this may be hinting at an approach. Play it super cold with my daughter. I've tried some Law of Attraction things with removing my interest in something after expressing a keen desire in it, and I've mentioned before, this definitely does not have consistent results (nothing does!) but I am willing to try things.

Here I feel like it's saying to withdraw my energies. I know I'm certainly not feeling happy about throwing good energy after bad trying to 'get things done' for my daughter, but unfortunately this is not a situation where I can give up entirely. She NEEDS the supplements she's taking. If she doesn't take them consistently her levels won't go up. So there is, unfortunately, a need to force her because I can't seem to do it any other way.

However, perhaps in other areas with my daughter I can employ this energy withdrawal method and see if my daughter moves in to close the gap. I know that if there is an emotional element to her refusal (which there likely is) then perhaps my attention being removed from her when she refuses to do simple things we ask of her may be enough to motivate or scare her. I don't want to have to scare her, of course, but I do want her to know that she can't just outright refuse everything all the time and expect us to cater to that.

Magic Mentha

Sunday, June 5, 2011

The Pages Reading: Changing Perspective, Accepting Help

This is a longer reading than I usually do, but I just came back from an especially frustrating and tiring trip.

The trip to the mountains for two nights did not go as planned. My daughter had a very time adjusting and melted down, having several big mood/behavior swings the likes of which I haven't seen for a long time.

In fact, it was so bad that we had to leave a night early. My daughter freaked out so much that she hyperventilated after asking to leave a bunch of times. The first night we managed to calm her down enough to stay but it continued to happen and we couldn't handle the chaos, hitting, screaming and everything else that ensued. It was not worth it.

Thankfully the hotel reimbursed us for the second night that we didn't stay, but the sad part was that we couldn't travel successfully with our daughter.

What we know now is that there is a limit to what we can do (temporarily, I hope!) with our daughter and we are not going to push our luck or try to force things in the wrong direction. I really want to do what is best for the situation, not just what I assume is right, even if all signs point to 'no'...

We know that due to various issues with the neurological stuff, the deficiencies, the medication for her seizures, and other, smaller issues, her mood and behavior are seriously compromised and it's not very straightforward how to proceed.

I wrote a detailed message to her two doctors (a married couple, both naturopathic doctors who work on a regular basis with kids with seizures and neurological issues including ADHD and autism) in which I explained our predicament and how our daughter's behavior issues have escalated in the past two months since started the B12 shots.

Now, we realized when we started the B12 shots that this was a common side effect, but knowing how low her B12 levels were we had to do it. Even so, the side effects have been so bad that her behavior is the worst I've seen it in maybe a year or more. We're getting to the point where it's unbearable and our lives are so stressful that we just want to give up on the whole thing. I hope we get a helpful response but I am not going to assume anything or worry about what they're going to say.

The cards I pulled on this subject are interesting. Three pages, which to me signals both children/youth in general as well as something new being started, as well as the Hanged Man and Four of Cups. The Hanged Man makes me think of 'hanging in there' or changing perspective, getting another angle on the situation. I'm not sure which. I guess I'll find out. The Four of Cups makes me think of both my daughter's obstinate behavior and provocative 'You can't make me do anything!' attitude, plus perhaps my own exhaustion and feeling that nothing we are doing is helping.

If someone hands me a cup, I am going to grasp onto it for dear life. I really want to accept help and do what I can to improve the quality of life for my family. We're so weary, so ready to move on from this place of struggle and pain. We really want and need hope. I am hoping right now that the exhaustion and frustration of the current situation gives way to solutions and understanding--gives us the impetus to move forward in a more directed way.

Magic Mentha

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Before Leaving Reading: Resolving Headaches

I really wasn't quite sure what to make of these two cards that I just pulled. Actually, they flew out of the deck. I shuffled several times and they just sort of came out.

This reading was ostensibly about finding out why I keep having headaches but it's possible that it's about something else. I can't be sure at this moment.

My instinct is that it's a food reaction. Either dairy, caffeine or sugar. My main guess is dairy because I had dairy three times yesterday and began having a headache by the end of the day that went into today.

My goal now is to stop eating dairy for at least a week or two and see if my symptoms resolve, then re-introduce afterward and see if they return. They do seem to, from what I've noticed in the past. I would have terrible sinus headaches with dairy, though it seemed inconsistent. I do think it's worth looking into, though.

Magic Mentha

Short Blog Hiatus: Mini Vacation!

My beautiful daughter
Well, tomorrow morning we're setting out for a mountain town mini-retreat here in Colorado over a long weekend.

We'll spend two nights in a four star hotel (surprisingly cheap for the hotel room with a fridge and oven, two beds, etc) and simply a desire to relax and get away. We'll return Sunday afternoon, hopefully a bit renewed.

I'll be back to posting on Monday and in the meantime I wish you all a beautiful and bountiful first week of June.

Lots of Love to y'all annnnnnnnnnnd don't forget to enter the June Giveaway,

Bon Voyage,
Magic Mentha

Baby Boy Blues Reading

Baby Boy Blues Reading or 'Angst Over My Decision' Reading

When I pulled today's cards I again wished to get the message that wanted to come through, no matter how unpleasant or unrelated to what I might want to ask about. I guess I shouldn't be surprised by this still coming through, because it really doesn't seem resolved in my heart.

The cards I pulled at first were the Queen of Pentacles, Justice, Five of Cups and Three of Pentacles. I wasn't entirely sure what they were saying. Because I've had the Queen of Pentacles show up as a recurring card representing the female integrative doc I've been working with, I assumed this was still the case. What balance/decision (Justice) had I come to that had disappointed (5 of Cups) me so that could possibly relate to my integrative doc (Queen of Pentacles) that I need to work on (3 of Pentacles)?

I decided to pull a final card to ask what this reading was pointing to. Oh...of course! The Page of Swords. This is the card I've designated as my 'baby boy' card. I got it numerous times when (briefly) deciding to have a second child, as I could feel this baby boy's presence as surely as I feel my own. But in the end, we decided to go ahead with the vasectomy, for a laundry list of reasons.  But for some reason I keep getting this card. The deed is done and we've already made the decision, but in my heart I have not come to terms with it. I know this.

In fact, just last night I brought it up with my husband. I told him how the decision to not have the baby was still hard on me and that for some reason it was harder for me to deal with than I even thought it would be. He said, as he always does, that he understood that but that he still thought it was the right decision. He says that, but he knows and I know that the decision to not have more kids was a lot easier for him than it was for me. I wish this knowledge was more comforting. But at the same time, I'm not entirely convinced. How do we know for sure that the decisions we make are the right ones? That they'll produce the best results, the most happiness, etc? The answer is that we don't know and we never will, and dwelling on it won't help a thing.

There's a new dilemma that this not-having-another-baby-thing has brought up, and that's my own life path and choices to be made there. I feel that even though my energy is still very much absorbed in my daughter's health issues, that (likely/hopefully) it won't always be. If things go as planned and as people claim they will, I will not be the main steward of my daughter's health/life anymore. At least, well I guess I will, but it won't be as harrowing as it is now. She'll learn and grow (as she already is, but more so) and will eventually learn autonomy and to take care of her own health needs. As she gains this new-found autonomy, my own need to find purpose will simply grow. It has already been.

Well, DUH...that's probably what the Three of Pentacles means. Here I am rambling about a life path/work/career choice that I'll need to make at some point once my mothering duties die down a bit with the current health situation, and I'm barely making mention of the card. Very interesting. Another way to look at this reading (visually) is to see the Queen of Pentacles as the stay-at-home-mom, fertile rabbit mama. On the other end of the spectrum we have the Three of Pentacles, the world of work-away-from-home. Or at least commissioned work instead of unpaid, stay-at-home-parenting work. Anyway.

It is confusing for me, mostly because I've found myself feeling rather 'blah' and rejecting of my art career stuff. After ditching HH I find myself really lost. It's been almost a year since I completely and utterly quit HH and even though things died down long before then, I really can't latch back on to a creative groove. It just doesn't feel right.

Two small creative projects came up (making a small batch of necklaces for a friend's shop and the banner/logo design for an Etsy shop) and I decided not to do either. I could not bring myself to, it was like nails on a chalkboard, or going across a desert without water. I just had no momentum. I had to send my apologies and an explanation about not being tapped into the art stuff. It just didn't appeal to me. Particularly the hand-painted jewelry, which, after making more than three hundred pieces, I wouldn't do even at my leisure. 

The worst feeling was looking back at many of those pieces are realizing that I didn't like them as much as I thought. I wondered if I HAD emphasized quantity over quality in many (but not all) of them. I started to understand that. Some of them turned out really well, lovely. Those are the ones I really put effort in. Others were just 'okay'. Then again this is all after the fact and pointless. I just found it interesting, looking back at the pieces and how I felt about them.

So, with my creativity flagging, my daughter's health issues dragging/lingering, I found myself latching on to this new (yet old) idea of having another child. But there were too many issues, stresses and fears associated with it, and perhaps it was a bit of escapism on my part, too. Still, I admit that I felt more passionate about having another child than I had anything in the past couple of years. The only other thing that came close (and this is the thing that's the MOST important to me) was my daughter's health being restored/fixed.

With some soul-searching, and also a lovely career reading from Helen, I'm trying to figure out the best options for me so that I can move past the spilled cups of disappointment and sadness in the Five of Cups and into the land of the living, and the working world.

Magic Mentha

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Happy & Healthy Reading

I decided to pull these cards this evening, though I did not have a topic in mind. But when I saw them I felt they related to addressing my health issues, which is something I've decided to do recently (last month) and acted on. Granted, I have not taken ALL of the advice, but I've kept up with most of the advice and I'm going to work up to some of the things that are harder for me (like exercise and cooking meals JUST for myself). One thing at a time. Or two things...

The reason why I think this is about my health stuff is the combination of the Star and the Queen of Pentacles. The Queen of Pentacles I think of as the female holistic doctor, and the Star I often assign to health/healing issues, and also stress management. The Sun doesn't necessarily refer to health but it can certainly indicate more robust health, as can the Star.

To me, the Magician is more about confidence and putting your words and goals into action. It's more active, more 'make it happen', which is precisely what needs to be done, and what is already happening, though perhaps a bit slowly. Maybe this is just a sign that I'm on the right track and not to get side-tracked or tempted by things. Like chocolate, sloth or other ways of abandoning my health...

Magic Mentha

An Epically Epic June Giveaway

Product photos by Allison of Epically Epic Soap, edited by me in Photoshop and Be Funky

Since I was the lucky recipient of Helen's May giveaway, I decided to share the love and host an Epically Epic Giveaway. The lovely Allison of Epically Epic Soap Company has such a wonderful Etsy shop and I love to highlight her great, natural products. Her lip balms are one of her best items, and I definitely want to give folks a chance to try them.

The Prize: Four luscious Epically Epic Lip Balms in: Fuji Apple, Mango Lychee, Pumpkin Pie and Coconut Lime. Mango and Fuji are vegan, the other two have honey. None of these are tinted, so they're friendly for men, women or those who don't like tinted lip balms.

The Rules: One entry per person, anyone in the world can enter. Just comment on this post, mentioning your plans or goals for June. You can go into as little or much detail as you like! Also, I'd be interested to hear how May went for you, but you are under no obligation to tell me in order to enter.

The winner will be chosen the morning of June 30 (mountain time) and announced immediately, and the prize will be shipped out to you immediately thereafter. Obviously, leave me a way to e-mail you if you win! :)

Love and Luck,
Magic Mentha