Wednesday, August 31, 2011

The Dark Woman and Stupid, Proud Behavior

This is a draw I got earlier today. I am still trying to figure out whether this woman is me or someone else. I'll try to update soon.

I hope you all have a nice day.

Love,
Magic Mentha

An End of August Reading: Yummy Money

This is interesting. Even as I posted last night about how I was, mostly by necessity, focusing on mothering my daughter rather than bringing home the bacon, I felt compelled to ask whether I should be focusing on making money or not. I was thinking about September, but really just the rest of the year. Is there something I could do? I ask this because we tend to get tight at the end of the year, and if there's anything I can do to help, I'd like to.

Well I am still puzzling out the answer I got. The 'Dolphin' card came up, which speaks of financial gain, but in this case it mentions getting money from something you did in the past. What could that be? Pieces selling that I have in a couple stores? A project I forgot about? Some sort of windfall? I have no idea--but this card is all about something you've already done or set in motion.

At the same time, however, we have the Lion card, which is all about taking action. This is NOT a passive card. This indicates to me that I need to take some specific action with regards to money. And the visual of these two cards together amuses me. The carefree dolphin is jumping into the air and the lion is just waiting for the opportunity to eat him. He looks with his ferocious eyes at his prey and is prepping to pounce. Is that the recommendation for me? I dunno, but I will keep my eyes peeled for the proverbial dolphin payday.

Love,
Magic Mentha

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Tarot in the Dark: Intuitive Fulfillment and Deep Knowledge

What would fulfill me?

It has been a good while since I've done my 'Tarot in the Dark' segment, which I used to feature on my old blog (Tarot by Celeste) since I was so often up at 1, 2, 3 in the morning, etc. It's 11:30pm and admittedly this is quite early for me to be going to bed, but I need to. I'm run down. After years of bad sleep I really need to sleep when I can.

Anyway, the topic of this particular draw was 'what's next for me?' I know this is a totally vague, possibly lame question, but I really wanted to know. I didn't cage the reading by trying to pin down a topic. No, I'm in way too transitional a time in my life to ask that, to be honest.

So when I turned over the high priestess I wondered what mystical thing I would be delving into. The other card is the 9 of Cups, which shows some sort of fulfillment, a wish granted. I am not quite sure what things indicates. Maybe it means doing readings? I would love to, if I got any takers. So far I haven't gotten a single reading purchase on my tarot website, Magic Mentha, but that's understandable. I haven't advertised for it, I haven't done anything. Why? Because for me that effectively kills it. I've found that I have to do something in an all or nothing way. I'll either promote it, or not. And I don't feel like getting disappointed in something and turning something beautiful such as reading tarot, into a disappointment.

What I've realized about myself (at least at this point in time) is that I am just not into making money. But there's a huge part of me that wants to be like that. My sole purpose right now is to take care of my daughter. There are many days where I'd rather be doing ANYTHING but this. This IS my work. I just don't get paid for it. I am grateful that I am able to stay home with my daughter and help her through this transitional time, where she (hopefully) recovers from her seizure disorder and other issues. She does seem to be progressing, and I know that being here with her, tending to her needs, giving her medications, supplements, special dietary concerns and other things...making sure she is loved, is more important than anything I could be doing OUT there.

So I have to ask myself, in all honesty, even knowing about all these days where I just want to go AWOL and get the heck out of here, that there really is nothing else I want to do. There are things that would be a hell of a lot more fun, more gratifying in an instantaneous way. There are numerous ways that I could be more creative, more sociable, more anything...but does any of that compare to the intense necessity of mothering my daughter?

In ten years I will not remember whether I worked for a while at a retail outlet. I won't much care. But I'll remember that I stayed with my daughter, night after night, sometimes until dawn, or endured her smacking me in the face, melting down in stores or having seizures in the car, in bed, the ER, or on the living room floor as I tried to swallow my horror, fear and desperateness at the sadness of it all. I'll remember the visceral panic and motherly concern, the gradually lessening panic as she gained seizure control. Hopefully someday this fear will be replaced by pride as I see her change, almost imperceptibly, from a sick child to healthy young woman. I want to be able to explain it to her when she's older, how we always believed she would get through this. I sure hope we're right.

Love,
MM

A Rubber Ducky Reading™ to Soothe My Whiny Soul

This was a reading designed to make me feel better. So funny that the cards I pulled were watery (this is a duck, after all)...and the first card was the pouty 4 of Cups. WAHHHH, I hate everything. WAHHH, everything sucks and I am going to sit under this tree and POUT!!

Well, the card I got as the antidote to this melancholia is the 7 of Cups. To me this instantly indicated that there are ALWAYS other possibilities. And you should look upon life more as a menu of options rather than depressing set conditions.

Love,
Magic Mentha

An Amazingly Specific Draw: Hawthorn & My Heart Health


In an e-mail to my husband I wrote (names obscured for privacy):

So this is cool. I realized I hadn't posted my daily tarot reading on my blog, since I've been out all day. I got back from taking (my daughter) to Vitamin Cottage (a health food store). I got a few things there (coconut yogurt, uncured hot dogs, ghee, etc) and I came back home and took my supplements and gave (my daughter) hers since we hadn't done that yet.

Then I decided to pull a couple cards and I asked about my heart health--whether the hawthorn would help bring my blood pressure down and otherwise support my heart health because every health professional I've talked to (including Dr. M) has been concerned about my heart health because of my high cholesterol, high blood pressure, weight and slight inflammation markers. 


Dr. E wanted to put me on statins, Dr. M doesn't, but is concerned about the heart health component. And the lady who did my yearly exam yesterday mentioned putting me on blood pressure drugs if my blood pressure didn't go down (no way in hell I'm doing that)...

So anyway, that's what I decided to ask about. As I was shuffling I was thinking, 'I think there's a card with a heart with a spear in it--that would be cool to get, except I don't know that I'd WANT to get that...doesn't seem to bode well heart-wise.' So when I actually chose my two cards I laughed because I got the HEART card. I forgot there was a heart card, and thankfully it does not have a spear through it like the other card that depicts a heart. The Elephant card I received when asking about my health stuff a week or two ago. It mentions a long emotional or physical journey that will leave you wiser.

I just thought I'd share that. I was impressed!

Love,
*********



Dr. M gave me hawthorn to take for my blood pressure and heart stuff. You can read about the benefits of hawthorn if you like. In addition to the hawthorn I'm doing other lifestyle changes in diet, exercise as well as fish oil and other inflammation-improving measures.

Love to y'all,
MM

Monday, August 29, 2011

A Vaguely Happy Draw


It's hard for me to comment on this draw because it's so vague.  I am almost embarrassed to say what this draw was about. I have been having dreams of being pregnant lately--but it doesn't make sense. Hah! Well, I'll update this later. It may be about something else entirely!

Love,
Magic Mentha

Sunday, August 28, 2011

An Early Evening Indulgence: Chocolate & Chai

Have Y'all Seen This?

Google now allows you to change the background of your Google search page, whenever you're logged in to a specific Google Mail account. This is the image I use for this account (Magic Mentha)...cool, right? One of my favorite photos of me holding a tiny crystal. Excuse the somewhat mediocre photo. I edited it in BeFunky so it looks a little better, but you get the idea.

Love,
Magic Mentha

Musical Friends: When People Simply Leave Your Life

Since using this deck, I've gotten a few readings that mention someone not being particularly trustworthy in my friend circle. Seems strange, especially considering I have very few friends, really, and most of them are long-time friends and many of them I rarely see or speak to (mostly because they are not good about e-mailing, though I still send them photos and e-mails and gifts, if I can afford to), but I'd say that one of my pet peeves about this deck is that there are far too many 'people plotting against you' cards.

I don't particularly understand why Rae Hepburn felt the need to include so many of these backstabbing friend cards. Perhaps she had one too many bad experiences? I don't know. Either way, it makes me uneasy when I see these sorts of cards but usually it amounts to nothing.

There is another possibility to this draw. Perhaps it's just telling me that I need to raise my standards in GENERAL about my life. And the 'someone leaving my life' could be from death or other technical reason. I guess technically the backstabbing card is not in this pull, so I suppose I shouldn't assume that.

The presence of the chair made me think of 'musical friends'---how people often leave our lives for one reason or another. Sometimes it's us, sometimes it's them, usually it's both, and then there's the aforementioned family deaths and other losses that we all have to bear.

I'll have to think more on this later.

Love,
Magic Mentha

Boot & Basket: Make an Effort, Get Rewarded


I pulled these cards today. Yeah, I said I'd be working with the Science Tarot but I'm still FEELING the Tea Leaf Fortune Cards. I love these babies. I can't get enough of them! It's nice that I like them even more than I thought I would.

This draw reminded me of the obvious: you're rewarded when you make an effort. When you don't, you may as well throw up your hands and give up, because that's the message you're sending out. I definitely have done so--I feel like I have become super 'blah' about any and all opportunities that come my way. Sure, they may not be ideal and I may not follow up on most of them, but if I even follow through with ONE thing, that shows promise.

I am going to try to figure out ONE GOAL to follow through with (besides my current goals related to my daughter's health, etc) and truly work on it. Even if it takes forever and doesn't yield results immediately.

Much Love,
Magic Mentha

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Oh, September!


After abstaining for a full TWO DAYS (woo!?) I decided to post these cards which I pulled yesterday. I wanted to know about September in terms of my daughter's health and development. It looks pretty good! These cards contrast quite a bit with the year ahead pull I did for myself. I got Dark Woman (dealing with a woman with dark complexion, hair), Bat (enemies are working against you), Bird-Flying (news is on the way), and Cup (you should accept valid criticism).

It seems that when I ask about my daughter I tend to get positive things lately (yay!) but when I ask about myself I get depressing or mixed answers. I guess that kind of makes sense. In my life I feel confused, aimless, cranky...but HOPEFULLY my daughter is improving (slowly but surely). That would make all this cranky aimlessness easier to take.

Anyone else who has this deck hate these 'enemies plotting against you' cards?!!

Love,
Magic Mentha

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Some of My Favorite Cards from Science Tarot




Even though I'm not really posting bonafide readings until Monday I thought I'd share some images from the Science Tarot which I particularly like. As Monica pointed out, this is not really a deck that she thinks she'd connect with and I can totally see why that would be the case for most people.

One thing I've realized about the Science Tarot is that, for me, the cards I like the most are the earth science ones. I am not a big fan of the space ones (like binary star or expansion or Big Bang, etc) and I'm not a fan of the extremely dry science concept ones, but overall they do a really nice job of presenting scientific information in a fun and colorful way.

The nature ones are really interesting and pretty, but again, this may be more due to my upbringing than anything. I think this is a very specialized deck that you might pull out only when in a certain mood, but I'm very glad to have it in my collection.

Click on any set of cards for a larger version.

Love,
Magic Mentha

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

One Card Draw and See Y'all Monday

A somewhat sub-standard photo of a somewhat sub-stellar phenomenon
I know I say this every week but I may resume posting on Monday. I am beyond exhausted from continual mediocre sleep lately, and I have not taken the proper care with my posts lately. I feel like my interpretations have been lazy and hurried. I need to let things sink in more, post less often.

The card I chose is Brown Dwarf, the 4 of Wands. I generally see this card as 'initial success' in the areas of home or creativity. It's about stability but also growth. It's not as stagnant or quiet as some of the other tarot cards with a 4 number.

In this deck it indicates that, on the journey, this card means that 'the adventure is about to start' and that I'm at the threshold of some new thing. Very generic-sounding, I know, but it thankfully gets a little more specific than that as it goes on.

I liked this quote from the booklet on the card:


"Every path we take leads us to a threshold. One day we may gather the courage and strength required for this adventure and we'll leap into whatever lies ahead. Or we may remain comfortably at the threshold and watch others begin the journey that we never experience ourselves."

Wow. That is a bit more depressing than I thought! Well, by depressing I mean that it sounds more like a call to action rather than a congratulatory pat on the back. Even so, it's not a bad card, perhaps just a clue not to be complacent, that this is only 'initial success' and not 'ultimate success' y'know. It's not the time to rest on one's laurels.

In case you didn't know, a brown dwarf is an object that does not have enough mass and cannot become a star. They describe them as sub-stellar (!) because they can't sustain the necessary fusion reaction. Isn't that rude? Anyway, haha, I thought the description was rude. It reminds me of teachers who tell their students they have potential but don't use it and 'oh, what a waste!' Well, whatever.

I guess what I'm saying is...maybe there is nothing wrong with being a brown dwarf. Maybe if you're unhappy that way there's something wrong with it. But it's alright to be one for a time, at least. It doesn't mean you're sub human just because you don't 'make more' of yourself. The motivation to do more with your life should come from within, not from some bloated sense of responsibility.


Things are as they are. Looking out into it the universe at night, we make no comparisons between right and wrong stars, nor between well and badly arranged constellations.
-Alan Watts

At the same time I see the point. Humans seem to be meant to evolve, to learn and become more over time. That doesn't mean upward mobility so much as a generic lifelong learning process. It doesn't have to be prestigious.  I think I have this desire for grandiosity which keeps me from doing things I might enjoy.  I'm going to take some time to re-think my strategy.

On a different note, today is my dearly departed grandfather's birthday. He would've been 87 today. He was a jolly but conservative man who loved family and the outdoors as well as relaxing at home. I wish I had taken more time to talk to him. I assumed we didn't have much in common. I chatted with him about mundane things now and again but I didn't talk to him much. He was rather tactless and I'm an impatient/feisty Aries so sometimes the combination isn't good, but that's OK. :)

Happy birthday, grandpa!

Love,
MM

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Three 'Three Things' Pulls

I thought this represented Pele growing up, getting better sleep and her relationship with her dada.

I thought this represented emotional connections, personal power and expression.

I thought this (oddly) represented me keeping my daughter's yeast at bay, seizure control and time to myself.

I'm posting these mostly so you can see these beautiful cards. I'm not gonna explain them (sorry...not sure what my deal is with that lately...hehe!) at least not any more than the little caption I included on each one. And yes. I used our real names.

You can click on them for a slightly larger size.

Love,
Magic Mentha

Deck for the Rest of August: Science Tarot

I got this deck recently (a week or two ago?) but haven't debuted it here yet because I've been using the Tea Leaf Fortunes and other recent decks. What can I say? I went a little crazy the latter half of this year. But now that money is seriously dwindling and my desire for new decks is nil, I can slowly get to know these new decks.

The Science Tarot is quite interesting. It's based on various scientific principles and would be a great gift for a sciences nerd who also enjoys tarot. Heck, even if they don't enjoy tarot. I won't go on about it because you can read about it here if you want.

For me, it brings together two loves in my family: tarot and science. My family is very science and education-oriented and I was raised on philosophies of the likes of Carl Sagan, Jung, Joseph Campbell, Alan Watts and Stephen Hawking. I was not allowed to watch trashy TV (except if it was something my parents approved of like the X-Files) and we stuck mostly to PBS. So there's something familiar about this deck for me--as it reminds me of the home I came from. And amazingly, a few of my siblings are also into tarot as I am, despite our pragmatic background.

The draw I'm showing now is just a simple two card draw. It definitely seems to reflect how I'm feeling. There's dormancy (4 of Cups/Beakers) and there's Temperance/Uncertainty. I definitely feel overly cautious, dormant and uncertain. I keep thinking how I want to do something but can't figure it out. I do feel like the proverbial fish trapped underground, or the blindfolded scientist trying to figure out what the heck I'm studying.

I pulled a card of recommendation and got Supernova (10 of Wands). I'm seriously feeling zonked all the sudden so I'll post it later (meanwhile, click on that link), but it's the culmination of a creative project, or something otherwise coming to a head. It can certainly mean burnout. Gee, it's Supernova after all. The meanings in this deck do vary a bit from the traditional, but I haven't used it enough yet to see how that plays out. So far I like it. But I think it'll take some getting used to.

Love,
Magic Mentha

Two More Career Draws


I'm not gonna post about these. I think they sort of speak for themselves. Or not. We'll see, right?

Feel free to post your own thoughts about these cards--you always have such lovely ideas. :)

The cool thing is that I specifically pulled these two as career draws, but I did not choose the career card--it came up on its own.

Nice.

Love,
Magic Mentha

Harnessing Career Goals: By Carriage, Boat or Stubborn Mule?


I wanted to ask more about my work situation, the whole thing about coming up with an at-home work scheme or other type of work scheme for my particular situation. I wanted to know what could be done. The cards were strange but that's par for the course with this deck! I really like the way that they tell a story. Sometimes it's in an old-fashioned way, sometimes in a more modern sense.

Carriage is one of a few cards representing a journey. There's Elephant, which I got a few days ago which talks about a long journey (in the case of learning to take better care of my health, for instance) and this one, Carriage, seems to be more of a general journey. It may not be quite as long and arduous as the whole health thing. I hope.

Immediately after drawing Carriage I drew Mule. I found this funny because it was as if my carriage was being pulled by a stubborn mule who didn't want to go anywhere. I admit that's how I've felt. I feel like a horse that won't go to water. I am my own worst enemy. I totally have been avoiding doing things I know would help me (such as eating well, exercising, finding work opportunities that work for me)...I've been trying but I'm fighting against my inner mule.

I wanted to see what else would come up so I pulled a third card: Boat. Now this is a card I can get behind! It's a 'winnings' 'inheritance' or 'windfall' card. Who doesn't like that? So are these cards representing different aspects of my situation, or are they representing different 'modes' of transportation, is it both, or is it something else? I decided I needed a clarification to this.

So I pulled two cards (was only going to pull one but they were sort of together) and I got 'Older Woman' and 'Pin'. The latter means 'a new job/career'. Now this is interesting. Either there's a new job opportunity connected to this old woman, or the old woman is the one who will assist in the whole windfall/winnings thing. Or maybe it's both.


I will try to update on this soon because I admit I am very curious about the whole thing, too.

Love,
Magic Mentha

Where to Focus and Other Such Things

I had a very 'blah' Monday. Well, to be honest I've been feeling that way for quite a while. These are the cards I received Monday afternoon that I'm posting now, technically Tuesday (12:41am) as I'm resisting going to bed. Ahhh it's such a peaceful, quiet night, but I do need to sleep as soon as I can.

I think this tapering of medications has been rough on me. I do think that things were stressful even before the tapering (in terms of side effects and issues) but they were manageable, and now I'm just tired of the bad sleep and the mood swings and inability to do anything 'normal' with my daughter.

Sometimes I just crave normalcy. Why can't I have a healthy kid without a seizure/neurological disorder that sleeps well and isn't on medications and isn't on super restrictive diets, avoiding a long list of allergens, and eschewing sweets (much to her and my dismay). Lately she's been asking me constantly for sweets, which obviously I can't indulge. No added sweeteners. Only a certain amount of fruit a day. Only one whole grain a day. I can't deviate from this, especially the first couple months into this because we don't want the yeast to proliferate and wreak havoc, especially as we're coming down on the medications.

And then there's me. I make all these promises to myself and never follow through. Like avoiding sugars and carbs. I just ate a bowl of tapioca (and) chocolate pudding with whipped cream and berries. LE. SIGH. I just can't control myself when I'm stressed. But, it is a promise to myself and I am trying not to worry about it. I know tomorrow is always another day.

Anyway...on to the reading itself.  These are the cards I chose: Yoke, Bird-Perched and Desk. I guess this makes sense. I spent today feeling bummed and waiting around for...something. I'm not sure what. I was hoping to hear from my mom about my dad's work situation, but no news was forthcoming (yet).

My daughter was in a strange mood and her sleep was crazy (woke up super early then went back to sleep since she didn't get nearly enough sleep) and I just spent the remainder of the day feeling drained, depressed and nursing a headache. Nothing serious...I've had MUCH worse headaches and I was glad it didn't get worse, but my faith in life just wasn't there.

Thankfully as I sit here I feel fine, but I know that the same problems may assail me tomorrow (as they often do) but I am trying not to get dragged down into misery about what will likely come and what may or may not happen. It isn't helping me. I don't want to make things harder for myself.

When I pulled these cards I smiled because the Yoke card really spoke to me. It described the feeling I'd had so perfectly. I've felt so tied down. For quite a while, really, but it comes sharply into focus on some days. I often feel like a warm body, taking care of my daughter and dealing with these difficult, mostly unchanging situations day by day, hoping things will improve but often being disappointed.

I realized today, however, that I needed to shift my focus. I can't do it entirely but I can try. I e-mailed my husband and told him that I desperately wanted to focus on something other than my daughter. Is that going to be hard? Probably. I worry about her and I can't seem to think about anything else. Not to mention I spend pretty much every waking moment with her, due to the nature of things. But there must be a way to have my own goals and my own life, even if it's on a limited basis.

I've done it before. When I had my hand-painted jewelry business...before the seizures. But now it's like I've well and truly lost my spark...my desire to create. I really can't remember a time when it was so thoroughly dead. I don't want to force it, but after a lull of well over a year between ventures, I've come to think that maybe I'm going about this the wrong way.

Maybe I'm simply doing too much waiting. It was appropriate at first, when I was in the thick of the horror of my daughter's situation, waiting to see if we'd even gain seizure control, but now that things are at least controlled (though worrying and tiring in plenty of other ways) I realize that I need to move on with my life. By move on I just mean learn to focus on more than just my daughter. I see that this single-minded focus has had a negative impact on me. I feel powerless a lot of the time.

So these cards felt very appropriate to me. In 'Desk' I am called back to my work. Whatever that is. Whether it's being an artist or some other thing that I haven't figured out yet. I have to get back to basics when it comes to decision-making. I know that I have a lot of intense energy inside of me that needs an outlet. I need to let go of the idea that I'll make any money from it, even though I'd be thrilled to make money and help mitigate the cost of the medications and supplements and whatnot.

But I realize that before I think about the financial implications of any venture I have to first focus on what I really want to do. It can't be about money for me--Alan pointed that out in a very thoughtful reading he did for me not long ago. I knew it was true when he said that. Despite my desire to make money, I am not one of those people who can have a 'steady job' or 'work the figures' so I can balance the books, make ends meet, etc. I'm just not a bread winning type. I've always been terrible at making money. I'm way too artsy for that. I would rather share the bacon or give it away than bring it home.

I'm not saying I'll never learn how to make money doing what I'm good at-simply that I know that I'm not good at working for work's sake. I've tried to do that and it always really kills me. It's so bad. It's like someone trying to act or sing that doesn't act or sing well. You can tell right away. They are off key, they are bumbling, unconvincing.

Anyway...it is now officially 1am and there is a strong likelihood that I'll be up in a few hours because my daughter won't sleep through (yet again)...maybe she will, maybe she won't, but lack of sleep makes me super moody and considering I'm pretty emotional to begin with I shouldn't push it.

I will see y'all tomorrow. I'm gonna try not to be on the computer as much today. I have been especially addicted lately--probably a coping mechanism! I shall read your blogs very soon.

Sending Love,
Magic Mentha

Monday, August 22, 2011

Last Posting of the Day: Photo Goofiness

News from Mom About the Work Situation

Here's another set of cards I chose yesterday. I got the 'Bird-Flying' card, which indicates news, not unlike the 8 of Wands or maybe the Page of Swords or Wands or some other such card.


The Older Woman I just took to mean my mom. I have no idea who the Fair Man is, but it could be someone in my dad's work place--perhaps one of the bosses. I hope it's good news. If the Windchimes card is correct then it is. I am not sure.


I'm not sure why I'm so obsessed with this job thing of my dad's. I mean, I guess I understand. Maybe it's because I'm tired and my daughter isn't sleeping well and things are kinda blah and I just want something other than my life to focus on...


Love,
Magic Mentha



Another Possible Resolution: My Dad Finds Work in the Valley

Yesterday, as I was doing draws about various things, including about my dad's work situation, I did a pull (that isn't posted here, I don't even think I've uploaded it to my computer yet) that had the Valley card on it. I had specifically asked what would end up happening--if they'd stay in town, go to a town that's about an hour from here, or go back to the Valley.

I know that ultimately they WILL go back to the Valley because that's where the family land is and that is where they lived for nearly twenty years, and the only reason they're up here is because my dad couldn't find work down there, but I wasn't sure whether going back to the Valley was something they could do for several years (either when my dad retires or when my dad somehow miraculously finds work there which is rarer) so I didn't think much of it.

When this business came up with him having job difficulties and having to make plans based on...well, based on not knowing what will happen, I thought about it again. So when I pulled these two cards together yesterday it made me think of him finding 'work' in the 'Valley'...seems very clear.

But whether or not that will happen is as yet unclear. Hopefully we'll know more soon.

Love,
Magic Mentha

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Becoming Miss Piggy: Pig and Diamond

My daughter is watching the original Muppet Movie from 1979 on the television right now as I type this. It's a cute movie and the strains of Miss Piggy singing in the background are rather amusing, but that's not the point. The funny thing is that I was sitting here thinking (in embarrassment) that I totally lack control when it comes to indulgences such as food, body products and anything else involving decadence. Of course, I do have some self control but I definitely don't have nearly as much as I'd like.

Yesterday on a break I used some of my modest personal money (which I'm trying to SAVE and building up a savings with) to buy three jars of extremely fancy body cream. It is insanely discounted (I'm talking this stuff retails for $75 each and I got them for $10) but even with the discount it's an utterly stupid thing. It's silly and vain and does remind me vaguely of Miss Piggy. But I love scented things and I love bath and body things.

I am also mad at myself because I haven't been sticking to my yeast-cleansing diet at all. I've been frustrated and depressed lately and lacking in motivation (to say the least) and admittedly I just don't know how to summon the strength to start ANYTHING, much less a strict dietary regime to help detox my body of yeast and other problems. So this is what I had in mind as I was about to pull a couple cards from the Tea Leaf Fortunes.

When I turned over my first card I actually laughed out loud and almost choked on the carrot I was eating. I got 'Pig'...Beware of greed. Yeah, wow. I couldn't have picked a better card if I had searched through the cards and picked one out by hand. I decided to pull one more card to go with my porky companion and received 'Diamond'. I laughed again because it reminded me of Miss Piggy. You know...this:




I remember as a kid my favorite Christmas ornament was a Miss Piggy ornament with high heels and a diamond ring and the whole magilla. Completely goofy. I would stare at it and hold it. I think I am realizing now that even though I am rather feminist and against gender stereotyping and I hate that kind of crap--on another level I love glamor and glitz and girly things and smelly things and all that happy horse crap. It's a rather embarrassing admission.


And while it is probably harmless to indulge these stereotypically girly fantasies once in a while I don't think it's something I really want to pass onto my daughter, at least not for the most part.  One thing in particular that I don't want to pass on is the female tendency to constantly judge ourselves. Constant scrutiny of our appearance. Low self esteem. Wanting to be a skinny, twiggy stick but with huge, zero gravity boobs and ass and perfect skin. 

Lately I've been looking at my face and scrutinizing every wrinkle. Looking at my hands to see if they're aging. Part of my recent obsession with moisturizers is that I want to stave off the whole wrinkled look, but when I look at the core of who I am--whether or not I have wrinkles doesn't really matter that much. I'm an artist and mom and even though most humans care at least to some extent how they look, they aren't going to be fulfilled simply if they focus on some ridiculous, unattainable and shallow goal of looking perfect, or at least trying to constantly mask their age or stop the grim reaper from coming.

Anyway, I'm rambling so I will cut this short by saying that I want to dedicate myself to the right things. Not care about the wrinkles, gray hair and other things. I mean, I'm not saying I'll stop having fun, dressing up, buying moisturizer or perfume, wearing make-up some of the time...but my need for acceptance hinging on those things must stop. I think it's bordering on some sort of body image disorder.

I appreciate the cards I received on this topic. Both for their accuracy and their humor.  I hope I can follow their advice to lessen my greed. I am not sure what the gift of jewelry thing is but it may just have been something to spark my Miss Piggy thought.

I have to say, though, that the one thing Miss Piggy has going for her is that she is a bit of a bad ass and can defend herself in combat.

Love,
Magic Mentha

Windchimes: Today's Relaxation Suggestion

This is a card my husband and I pulled as a suggestion for what to do today. We both thought it meant we needed to relax and find some peace amidst chaos (which the description mentions). We had a busy day yesterday and today I admit we all started off the day quite slowly, feeling very tired and unmotivated. Even now, hours after that pull I we still seem to be yawning and unable to wake up. I guess I should just give in to the whole zen-like suggestion of embracing peace and harmony.

In fact, not only did we draw this card once, but TWICE. I put it back in the deck, shuffled some more, and then drew a card from the middle and received this card again.

Love,
Magic Mentha

A Draw for Dad


Yesterday, after speaking with my mom on the phone about my dad's tense work situation and how they were waiting to hear about my dad's work contract and whether he'd get the money he deserved, and if they didn't they were going to seek out another work opportunity elsewhere, I pulled these cards.

I was very curious what the deck would say about the matter and very interestingly, they had a lot to say and so far it looks pretty accurate but things have not reached a head yet so the rest of this plot has yet to unfold and prove or disprove them.

In the top line we have Young Woman and Bat. I immediately saw these as the younger woman, a higher up in my dad's work who is a busybody who is also not necessarily always well meaning if you get my drift. My mom thinks she may be responsible for not raising my dad's salary. In between them we have tent, which shows a temporary situation. Does this show that my dad's job here is temporary or does it show that the negative situation at his current work is temporary? I am not sure.

In the next row we have Pineapple, Star and Gong, which are all decidedly more exciting. Pineapple is reconciliation, which to me would be working something out with someone. Does this mean he gets the raise? Next to 'guaranteed success' and 'an exciting event' it makes me wonder whether he'll either get that raise he wanted, or whether he'll land the job in another, nearby town which has more pay and more need for his services. Something seems to be indicated with these cards of that sort.

In the last row we have Claw, Unicorn and Dagger. Claw and Dagger to me simply speak of the stress of the situation, the tension it has caused and also the fact that some care has to be taken in order for nothing to go awry. It definitely isn't a happy fun thing, but at the same time, the Unicorn in the center shows that the foresight to know what to do is there. Tapping into instinct in order to work out the situation is the essence of this card. 

Love,
Magic Mentha

The Three B's: Box, Broken Ring and Beetle


Now when I pulled these cards just now I thought, 'What a strange reading. A gift, a broken alliance and good fortune. Seems odd.' They look like they go together, visually and color-wise but the meanings are somewhat incongruous. But as life often shows, things can take a rather strange turn, and something that seems bad can turn out to be for the best, and something that at first seems appealing or good can turn out to be crappy.

I wish I knew the situation that these cards were referring to but I'm really not sure. This one I will DEFINITELY try to update on. I'm guessing I will hear about it soon because these card draws are not really supposed to span more than a week's time in terms of timing.

Love,
Magic Mentha

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Fierce Friends: Shark and Lion


Here's another draw I did yesterday and to be honest I can't quite figure out what this refers to. The meanings don't quite go with what they made me think of; my daughter loves sharks and lions and other fierce creatures as well as natural disasters--she likes wildness. This made me think of my daughter's nature in general, and how she loves these things, but that's all that came to mind.

If I get something else about these I'll let you know. I had a long day (but not in a bad way, just in a long way) so I think I'll just let these languish on the blog and see what pops up tomorrow...

Love,
Magic Mentha

Accepting Constructive Criticism Gracefully...or Not.


Yesterday I had made the decision to start the very strict candida diet (at least the cleansing portion for a week without veggies followed by a less strict version) but after my resolve dissolved yesterday and I was feeling depressed, down and frankly tired, I wrote to my sister and explained that I may wait to do the hardcore part of it until I felt less drained and my daughter's sleep wasn't so weird following the medication tapering. Anyway, I knew she would be disappointed because she thought it would help so many of my issues and frankly so did I. But I find myself having very limited capabilities and motivation right now.

She was, indeed, disappointed. Granted, she was tactful and fairly gentle about her disappointment, and explained she knew it was a bit unpleasant at the outset but that it got easier quickly and that she knew what I was dealing with right now was hard, but she thought it would be such a help that I would end up feeling better, etc. I knew as I read that she had a point but my visceral reaction was to be angry and lash out and feel wounded by it. My problem has always been that I cannot take comments in stride--I tend to get personally wounded too easily, mostly due to insecurity. I need to learn to separate my self esteem and emotions from what others say or think.

Knowing this problem and tendency full well but still feeling vulnerable to it,  I wrote back (admittedly a bit crankily) that it wouldn't matter if I felt amazing physically--I'd still have the same old crap to deal with in my daughter's health issues which seem to take forever to see any improvement. I realized I was venting when I said it and I immediately followed the e-mail up with an apology that I would talk with her again when I was in a better mood.

Anyway, these are the cards I received a few hours before this incident. I admit it impacted me more than I thought because I am upset at myself for lacking the oomph and motivation in my life to change anything much. I know that whole 'no pain, no gain' thing. I have to put in some effort. That's true.

My sister is right that the temporary discomfort would probably be worth it if I eradicated yeast, ate better and improved my health. I admit I have a tendency to give up on things too easily.

This draw reminded me both of the suggestion and help that was offered, and the difficult side of constructive criticism, which I often don't have an easy time accepting.

Love,
Magic Mentha

Friday, August 19, 2011

A Lap Full of Tea Leaf Cards

No idea what this means. I will update on this post as soon as I figure it out, though. :)

An Amazing Parlor Trick in a One Card Confirmation


I wrote to my husband to show him this crazy draw I had photographed. This is perhaps the weirdest tarot draw I've ever done in terms of how it fell (literally)...

I'd been pulling some cards asking about the wisdom of potentially lowering my daughter's medications some more (just by a very small amount again) even though we had decided not too long ago to hold at this level.

But because we haven't seen her symptoms stabilize and we haven't gotten as much benefit from the modest change in her meds, I wondered if a small adjustment might be good. I felt like, even though my nervousness about lowering the medication was justified and being safe was a good way to go, that I still felt like maybe I should go ahead and lower it again. The cards I chose before this one were all pretty decent--nothing insanely foreboding.

I still wasn't sure what to think when I told myself sternly, 'OK. ONE. MORE. CARD.' As I said this and was shuffling a small pile of cards flew out of my hands and they rolled dramatically on one side on the floor, somehow wedging under the fabric of the curtains in the dining room, revealing the single card answer I sought: Star (Guaranteed Success) and staying suspended in an upright position!

I was definitely flabbergasted. I stared at them, wondering how they were staying upright, resting so precariously under the cotton drapery. I looked at the cards underneath, of which there were three. Two of the three also mentioned success, and the final one mentioned sadness. This card gave me pause, of course, but I wondered if it was alluding to the crying I've done today. The card's title is 'Teardrops' and it mentions personal sadness. I was just crying today over how, despite such a positive outlook from the doctors, very little has changed, and I fear I may be stuck in this situation with the bad sleep and bad moods and other side effects with little improvement.

Anyway. I was amazed at the draw. I had only asked for the one card and it showed itself to me in a very dramatic way. I was even convinced that I should go ahead and try to risk lowering the medications slightly again--maybe we'll see more improvement this time.

Thought I'd share that bit of weirdness for y'all.

Love,
Magic Mentha

Mysterious (but FUN!) Reconciliation with a Loved One

These are the two cards I've drawn for today. I honestly feel stumped when I look at these. They're supposed to represent upcoming energy (today, tomorrow, etc) but I just am not sure what friend or what reconciliation they might be referring to. Because of this confusion, I decided to read the book:


"On the one hand, the pineapple represents that you will be reconciled with family, friends or loved ones after a separation or argument. On the other hand, the pineapple represents that you will become reconciled to accepting a disagreeable situation as something that cannot be changed at the moment.
 This is interesting. So the card could mean one or the other meaning. Or both meanings! But to me, the presence of the dog (close friend) card I thought it might point more toward the reconciling with a friend meaning, though I won't dismiss the other meaning which is likely true as well.

The Dog-Close Up description says the following:

"This card indicates that you will have pleasure with a close friend or relative. It does not indicate whether the friend is male or female."
 O.K. then. I basically have no idea who this is referring to, but whoever it is, I'll have a lot of fun with them. Hehe. OOOK! I also think this may refer to proximity. There is a 'Dog-Far Away' card, which means a friend who is far away is thinking of me. So the Close Up one makes me think this refers to someone who is in my immediate environs, or at least in town or neighboring towns.

I have a vague notion that this may refer to relatives since my sister is in town and I've been visiting with her. Or it may refer to another sister who is painting faces for a festival this weekend and we might see her (or not) depending on the situation. I'm not sure, but I get the sense it's more about coming together with family. Although 'reconcilation' implies there was a separation.

Love,
Magic Mentha

Thursday, August 18, 2011

A Last Minute Dash of Spontaneous Romance

I pulled these cards this evening and at the last minute I decided to call my mom and ask if she, my dad and one of my sisters who is visiting, would watch my daughter for an hour or so while my husband and I go out to dinner.

I wanted to have a 'last dinner' before starting the strictest portion of the candida diet (nothing but vegetables for one week) and also I've been feeling cranky and out-of-sorts and a date sounded good. My mom agreed even though she was just stepping out of a shower, dripping everywhere, when she answered the phone.

I feel a little guilty for asking last minute but she'll have help so that's good.

Love,
Magic Mentha

Another Unnaturally Happy Tea Leaf Cards Reading

I know it's probably ungrateful of me, but I have to laugh when I see these happy readings. I feel so moody and icky lately. I think these happy cards must be on drugs. But regardless, it's still nice to see them, even if I can't seem to FEEL them.

Today was a tiring day mood-wise for my daughter. She seems ultra sensitive right now.  I've been trying to be patient and gentle with her but unfortunately with neurological issues you are up against bigger things. Even so, I am just plugging away with this, like with everything else in my life, seeing the results of my efforts on a very gradual scale. I am trying to be patient.

Love,
Magic Mentha

Elephant and Shield: My Journey Toward Good Health


These cards, chosen yesterday afternoon, represented my search for better physical health (and, honestly, mental health along with it) and what was recommended. The feeling I got from this duo was that I would need to both provide help and protection for myself as well as seek it out. It definitely had a 'long haul' kind of feeling to it, and considering the massive changes I'd be implementing and then maintaining as well as I can... that isn't too far off.

I've made the decision today, after speaking with one of my younger sisters, to go on a pretty hardcore candida cleanse for the better part of a month, with my diet following something more paleo-ish or at least a modified yeast diet such as the one my daughter is going on following that. This way of eating, which really would be helpful to anyone, will likely be a huge help to many of the hormonal, weight-related as well as mental issues I've have been struggling with, actually since I was a teenager or younger. The list of things that I'm interested in helping is quite long, so I won't bore you with it.

But the idea here is that I enhance my health. The good health habits that we all have to eventually learn for ourselves are often ones that take years to properly implement, which is what sprang to mind when I saw the elephant card and its 'long journey' message. I can no longer scarf down coffee or sneak sugar-laden foods knowing it is irritating my bladder, adding to my weight, messing up my period and causing me worse sleep problems than even -I- should have, considering my daughter's health-related sleep issues.

I know that my mediocre health and lifestyle is not sustainable. I have to lose all this extra weight (not just talking 10-15 lbs here...more like 60-75) and I need to do things that make me happy. This journey is as much about fixing my happiness through my lifestyle as it is about fixing the nuts and bolts of my health. I think the cards accurately reflect the seriousness of the topic without being foreboding.

Love,
Magic Mentha

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Idea from Saturness: Colette Baron-Reid's Seven Card Spread

Click to enlarge. See the blog post by Saturness for placements.


Hi Folks,

I saw this spread over at the lovely blog of Saturness. I wanted to try it for myself, and here are my results. I admit I am a bit too sleepy to interpret them, but if you have any ideas for me, please let me know.

I think I should've asked about something more specific. I think it was mostly about how I've been feeling lately--both physically and creatively.

So if I had to sum up, I'd say this reading is about wanting things to be better, to feel better, inspired, but nothing much being forthcoming.

Love,
Magic Mentha

Four Card Health Reading for Myself

I decided to do a health reading for myself. This is because I have been feeling ick because my period is two weeks late and I can't figure out why.

What I haven't realized until recently is that my periods have been completely wacky this year. I thought maybe this was just due to stress or something but with a history of somewhat irregular periods which I thought had improved, I decided to look back at my computer calendar to see when my periods had fallen and how regular they were. Imagine my surprise when I saw this marvelous mess:




Start dates of my periods:


January 2
February 12
March 13
April 28: It was two weeks late here (I wrote that on the calendar)
May 30
June (no period--the last one ended June 1st)
July 7 (late again)
August (hasn't come yet--so far it's almost 2 weeks late now)


Jeez. I didn't realize they were that crazy. When I saw this I told the naturopath that I'm working with and set up an appointment for the 30th.  I've felt very, very moody, miserable and out of sorts for quite a while now and I am wondering that it is more than simple stress. Stress could've exacerbated it, but I feel like something is seriously off hormonally.

The one positive thing I've noticed lately is that my semi-regular headaches are all but gone. But otherwise I feel tired, depressed, cranky all the time and basically like I have PMS 24/7...at least most days. Now that I know that my periods truly are crazy and erratic, I'd like to see what I can do about it.

The cards I received for this were very positive and glowing (again) so I can only assume that means in the future, because I don't feel that great now. I hope it means I'm on the right track and with good plans, effort and seeking out the right information, I'll start to feel better. It's an interesting draw. The egg makes me think of hormones and ovaries. Could be a clue, there, even though my periods are not painful and are fairly light and I don't think I have ovarian cysts. We'll see!

Love,
Magic Mentha

A Draw About My Daughter

I'm keeping these images mostly as is (save a slight sepia tone and sharpening of the image) and in their full size if anyone wants to snag them to use as a desktop, simply because they're such positive cards.

These two sets of two cards--I pulled them as a group but photographed them in twos so I could more easily post them the way I wanted--were drawn in reference to my daughter's health situation and her general well-being.

The Caterpillar card (seen left) just indicates change. The book states that this card does not mean the change is good or bad. It simply promises change. It tells you look to the other cards for whether the change is good or bad. Thankfully the other cards were positive.

The Cobweb card, which sat right next to the card indicates protection from negative forces. It had some cute saying in the book along the lines of 'Lucky is the seeker who chooses this card...' In fact, I got that saying for two of the four cards received in this draw.

The next duo of cards were the Tower and Key. Now, normally when I see the Tower, I have a visceral, highly negative reaction to this card, especially with regard to my daughter, since it often indicated a seizure. But this particular card in this deck simply means 'success with effort.' It just means a solid foundation. Kind of funny because it's sort of the opposite of the Tower in the tarot. In the tarot it indicates being uprooted, an unstable foundation, chaos, etc...

The Key card seems positive in most decks I've seen it. It indicates an unlocking of a solution, a successful outcome, something inspiring. This is the other card which says, 'Lucky is the querist who chooses this card' and I agree that it does look like a good card to draw. As far as whether it means anything, that remains to be seen, but it's still nice to see it, nonetheless. Also, I like that the key is facing the tower. as if the key to unlocking the tower is there.

I had a similar response to the caterpillar and cobweb duo. They seem to go together somehow.  One thing that felt similar is that both objects (chrysalis and cobweb) kept something trapped, but there is a positive connotation to that (amazingly). The caterpillar is undergoing a transformation and will emerge as a butterfly, and to interrupt that process would kill it. The cobweb says it is protecting the querist from harm, perhaps holding someone in place until the right time comes.

Love,
Magic Mentha

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

A Lighter Tea Leaf Fortune Card Reading

One thing I've noted about these cards is that you can tell fairly quickly if things are on the negative or positive side of the spectrum for whatever reading you're performing. I guess there are 'mixed bag' readings, of course, but the nature of these cards is such that you really can tell if something's leaning one way or the other.

This is a general reading for me. I don't necessarily have a topic--I just wanted to see what would come up. I was surprised and sort of confused by it. I am taking it with a gigantic grain of salt, though. I guess it could refer to my brief visit to see friends this past weekend, and the good times had then. But the presence of the solution to my problems card seems to indicate something a bit more lasting.

Wow, I just noticed something interesting! The initials for each card (K, K, J) are the very same initials for the three friends I just visited! Wow. Maybe it is about that. How crazy. That's so cool!

Either way, I never argue against positive cards, even if it turns out it's a lot of BS.

Love,
Magic Mentha

Tea Leaf Fortune Cards: Two Part Career Reading



Hrm.

Is it just me or are the cards in that first line not all that encouraging? I was asking about the climate of possibly doing something career-wise, and that's what I got. I was thinking, 'Wow. Well, is there anything GOOD you can tell me?' That's when I chose the bottom three cards. They seemed better but I am still not sure what to make of this. I think I need to clarify my question a bit.

My sense of this reading is that right now things are kind of frustrating in terms of launching or tweaking a potential career move. 'Unsuccessful Plans' seems to speak for itself. Something I try to plan now may not pan out the way I would hope it would. The money danger card of 'Bear' is also pointing to maybe not making any financially risky decisions such as trying to open up a cottage industry or other thing that requires any money up front. The 'Mule' card could indicate me or it could mean someone else in my environment that would make any sort of plans difficult. This made me think of my daughter, actually, but only because anything that I do would be largely centered around however I could do it when she wasn't around or was distracted.

The second line made me think that maybe a little further down the line I might see a better opportunity, possibly with this blonde woman. But the casket indicates something depressing, either in the form of someone leaving my life or dying. The last time I got Casket, when given a reading by a friend with this deck, my husband's grandma died during that time frame. So maybe this indicates something of that nature. If so, there may be an unintended positive consequence of that.

I don't quite know what to think. We shall see!

Love,
Magic Mentha