Monday, December 31, 2012

A Task for 2013: Nurturing Myself

I had my Vision Quest Tarot out and I decided to pull some cards. Here is one of the readings I did for myself. My card showed up (Queen of Wands) as did the Queen of Pentacles. My sense from what I saw is that this is about nurturing yourself so that you're able to give to others. Giving and receiving equally. I really dig this LWB. Great gems in the text:

"Your task now is to find a resting point within yourself. Even though an infinite power resides within you, a human body can only go this far. Kindly respect its natural limits, then you will have all the strength in the world at your disposal."

When I see this my first instinct is to criticize myself and say, 'Oh, but you aren't doing ENOUGH' but then I think, 'Why? Says who?' Anyway. I think things I need to do for myself are a great way to enter into 2013. Doing more can also include doing more for myself. Or it should, anyway! Self care is crucial to being an effective presence in the world, and not going crazy.

Hope y'all have a peaceful transition into 2013.


Saturday, December 29, 2012

Show and Tell: Decals on My Car

I love these 'Illumination Mandalas' and think they're so cool. The company is out of Australia, so many of the images are Australian. You can see the kangaroo, kookaburra and native Australian flowers, like the ones Monica gets! Sorry I didn't get a better pic of those. I will try when it's sunnier. I found the kangaroo and Oz flowers decals at a thrift store and the other ones I've gathered over the past five years that I have had my car. I love these. I have to resist the urge to buy a million of them to cover my car with. :D

On a related note, I really need to wash my car inside and out. So dusty and grimy!


Clarity: No More Struggling!

I went over to Tarot in a Teacup, happy to see that Monica was back from Vietnam. She was using the Vision Quest Tarot, which reminded me that I hadn't used it in quite a while. I had forgotten I owned this deck, and I think I've only owned it since last year!

Anyway, she had received the Six of Air, and when I drew a single card to post today, I also got the Six of Air. Interesting. Heheee.

For me, when I see this card I think of things I am trying to clarify. Even though, as I posted in the comments section of Monica's post using this card, I often see this card as a transition to a smoother time, not unlike a more mellow version of the Tower's transition to the Star, I also see the implications of the concept of clarity.

I decided to look at the book's description because I couldn't remember if the LWB was any good. What I found out is that it's pretty darn good. Here's a quote:

"Once you have stopped struggling with yourself, harmony and wisdom prevail."

It goes on to say that there's a moment of clarity regarding some situation that is troubling you. It also speaks of having the courage to openly admit your truth and advocating for it, which makes me think more of the Seven of Wands, but this card is not a defensive one. This is a lighter feeling. So we go back to my original interpretation of things 'lightening up' and of coming to understanding after a 'rough patch'.

I have some literal rough patches to deal daughter's eczema that suddenly cropped up in the past few weeks. I do not know why and I haven't done much of anything different. She's already avoiding gluten, casein, soy, peanuts, pineapple, peas, yeast and on a biomedical protocol that she's been on for some time now. I don't understand what's going on. We got a natural, 100% dye and scent free shampoo, soap and laundry detergent, but the rash persists. I've purchased high quality eczema creams from the health food store, applied coconut oil...given her epsom salt and baking soda baths. Nothing seems to help that much. I wonder if it's a detox reaction or a yeast rash. I just don't know!

In any event, I hope this card heralds a new understanding of this issue or a 'lightbulb moment' that will help me banish this issue once and for all because it's been on my mind a lot lately. Perhaps the idea of not struggling is helpful. Kind of like losing something and searching high and low and not finding it, and suddenly when you're doing something unrelated you come upon the lost item.

I hope the term 'clarity' also refers to 'clearing up' this rash. Oy!

We shall see.


Friday, December 28, 2012

Talking to My Hubby Trio

Here's another draw I did yesterday but didn't want to post because I was already posting like crazy.

I definitely need goals. Hehe. I may drive the blogging world crazy by posting so much. Just kidding...

This one was just one of those boring yet amusing readings that is mundane yet highly applicable.

I had been e-mailing my husband back and forth like I generally do when my husband is at work. It's our way of communicating because we often get distracted when we're together by our daughter who is quite spirited and energetic. We like having the extra boost in communication that e-mail confers.

The Queen of Wands is me. The King of Swords is my husband. The Eight of Wands shows the quick communication itself, with the added cuteness factor of the wands being flowers. This indicates that our communications are generally pleasant and loving. Not usually gag-worthy, but not tense.

Don't get me wrong. Sometimes we do argue via e-mail, but most of the time it is a way to stay connected.


Heart-based Biz Decisions

Yesterday I pulled this trio but I didn't want to post it because I had already posted a few things and I didn't want to inundate the blogging world. Hehee. So here we are today...

It's December 28th (at least where I am), and I've yet to start on my 2012 closing ceremony and various other things from the workbooks. I am going to try to work on them today and over the weekend, BEFORE 2013. It will feel more meaning, I think, to do the releasing of 2012 now.

I received the Magician, Ace of Hearts and Nine of Pentacles. As a whole they made me think of empowering myself (Magician) to build my own business (Nine of Pentacles) that I love (Ace of Hearts). Obviously, as with any reading, I could be interpreting this wrong, but that is what came to mind. The self-will, self-esteem and tools to get financial security in a way that feels good to me.

Now how to do this will take some brainstorming and some measured actions. But so long as I am continuing on the path and at least enjoying the process the majority of the time I think I'm on the right track.

Hope you're all having a pleasant close to 2012. If not, I send hugs and recovery.


Thursday, December 27, 2012

The World vs. Mental Meltdowns: This Time Last Year

I like to go through old posts and see what was going on at that time, and also to see what I was doing exactly a year ago, that kind of thing. So here is the post on today's date last year.

The thing I was struck by was how similar I feel now. At that time, I was restless and wanted to sell the house but the market wasn't quite right for it. We re-listed shortly after the holidays and the house sold within a few weeks, thank goodness.

Oh, right. Well, the similarity comes in in terms of goal-setting. Then I felt like, 'Hey, I NEED to plan something, NOW!' I needed to get out of that neighborhood, STAT, and it was undeniable. Now I know that I can't go on with 'business as usual' feeling weary and creatively blocked. Of course the creative block was still there last December, but now it's more in focus since we managed to move. Now there's no excuse for me not to address it. Choices seems a big theme for me right now. I got the Faerie Guidance Oracle card 'Choices' twice in a row the past couple of days, and now this.

So, in honor of this memory from last year, I want to pull a single card to represent where I am in going forward with 2013. HAH!! I pulled the Seven of Cups. So true. I am so confused and don't know which way to go. I love this quote from the Psychic Revelation site (see the Seven of Cups link above for the full text) which pokes fun:

"When it appears, you are probably trying to do too much, and doing most of it not very well."

This is way less empowered-seeming than the World card. I knew exactly what I needed to do last year (move ASAP), whereas coming into this year I feel a touch weary and confused. Alright, make that a LOT weary and confused.

There are some health things with my daughter I need to straighten out such as gut issues with rashes and eczema she's been getting as well as some ADHD stuff, and there are things I need to do personally such as come up with goals and maybe a creative venture or three. There are potential traveling goals, but not sure if we can afford it in the least. And the rest is just a confused murky blob. I feel very uninspired and that bothers me.

That's why I am going to spend the last four days of 2012 doing Leonie Dawson's 'Create Your Incredible 2013' biz and personal life workbooks. THANK YOU Chloë, again, for those! I really, really need them. And I need to not be a lazy ass and I need to USE them.

So that is my goal and I am going to start today. A goal to make goals. How's that? :D

Love to all,

Choices, Choices...

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

The Energy Paradox

I decided to go ahead and break my hiatus early and post something (isn't that something of a tradition for me!?) because I had something of a revelation, although it may be a very obvious one.

The past couple of days especially I've been thinking a lot about energy and motivation and my lack of it. I am able to get through the days and even be somewhat productive, but I am so, so tired and really only feel like doing the minimum. I've been working on my diet, tweaking my supplements, and this morning when I was taking inventory of my vitamins and herbs and figuring out which ones I needed to get more of soon I stopped up short and thought:

"All of the vitamins in the world won't give me more energy if I don't have any plans or goals."

This thought came mostly unbidden, but it is largely true. I don't think this was my subconscious attempting to sabotage me, or another mental gremlin trying to drag me down. I think it was an essential truth. The fact that I have not made any personal goals at all past couple of years (except moving) speaks for itself. Yes, I could argue that I've done some things, and of course I have, especially related to my daughter's care, but so little of what I've done is for myself or otherwise motivated by personal goals. In fact, I'd even go so far to say as I've used my daughter's health issues to distract myself from making any personal goals.

I am grateful for this thought because it really made me examine where my mind, emotions and body are. I have been feeling frustrated because I've felt really worn down and 'blah' and I can't figure out what to do about it. I try things and they don't seem to make much of a dent in it. I think the missing component is a stable and true creative outlet. I can deny it all I want but I need it. Blogging is helpful, and blogging is an outlet-but it isn't enough for me. I need something more.

I pulled two Faerie Guidance Oracle cards today and I got 'Energy' and 'Choice', which are basically exactly what they sound like. I need to make choices and I need to move forward, allowing momentum to carry me. The paradox I speak of in the title of this post is simply that you cannot wait around for energy to hit you. You may feel very tired and unwilling to make changes. You may think, 'Well, I have NO energy to do anything, but I really NEED to do something.' But energy begets energy. I really have noticed that. I just have to make some decisions and not worry about whether they're the wrong ones.

Love to y'all,

Thursday, December 20, 2012

The Focus Factor: Ace of Wands

Feeling lazy and unmotivated and associating too heavily with the Seven of Wands, I decided to pull a focus card, for now and for 2013. I got the Ace of Wands! What a very good focus card. It is all about marshalling creative energies, and energy in particular, toward a specific goal. I have to get E*X*C*I*T*E*D about something and then go for it, as it said in the Seven of Cups. The key word to this card is 'Illumination' and it speaks a lot about flashes of insight and inspiration.

I also think the focus on hands is interesting. Makes me think of energy medicine that I've been reading about lately, much of which uses the hands. Either way, the hands are very instrumental in creativity of all kinds.

I like the way the card talks about the hand in this card:

"The hand means you have touched upon a truth. You have seen beyond the surface reality. You hold in your hands the light, the power to illume and thus transform and energize yourself and others."

Definitely will be focusing more on this as a starting point and gearing up for the new year.


Infiinite Visions Tarot: Seven of Cups

I was browsing through my blog posts from the past two years around this time of year (mid-late December) and I came upon this Single Card Pull from My Divination using the Infinite Visions Tarot, and I decided to try it. I got the Seven of Cups.
Seven of Cups
This is a card of choice and possibility.  A time of deciding what options are open and what you want to do.  It may be a case of wishful thinking, but if you know what you want set it free.  Go for it!
Haha. My first thought when seeing this card was 'Gawd that looks like me. I am SO lazy today.' Sitting around, feeling tired, unmotivated, chilly from the recent snow. She looks richly dressed but groggy. I'm not wearing red but I am wearing a rather colorful purple sweater and purple pants. 

However, despite the laziness of this card's image, and I do think indecision can lead to extreme laziness when it is used as an excuse not to take any kind of action. I know I have done that many times. I used anxiety, stress, laziness or any number of things as ways to delay decisions. But then again, I've also made decisions too quickly as a means of avoiding things! Weird but true. Decision-making can be destruction as well as creative. So I will keep that in mind as I go forward into 2013. I have gotten wiser about how I use my time, but I also don't want to get stingier about it if you get my drift.

This also brings to mind the post I just did about my (current/temporary/whatever?) rejection of painting and drawing in favor of other things (tarot? integrative health? what?). I am going to try to be incredibly honest with myself in what I want and need, even if that means not deciding yet.


Voyager Tarot: Rejection of Art

I had a strange reaction to this card which I thought was worth noting in a blog post. I whipped out the Voyager Tarot deck, a collage deck which I was drawn to and then purchased either earlier this year or last year (I've already forgotten--I think it was last year). These are action-packed, image-dense cards that can be overwhelming at times, so I tend to only present one or two at a time.

Today I drew 'Art' aka 'Temperance'. But when I saw the word 'Art' I recoiled. I've gone from being ambivalent about art to being repulsed by it. Strange, considering I'm extremely right-brained, have a degree in fine art and (allegedly?) all of my talents lie in the arts. Yet I have this visceral negative reaction to the word and act of art, at least in the ways that I have grown accustomed to.

Even so, putting aside my current distaste for creating visual art (with the exception of photo editing), there are other important meanings to this card. Still, this card focuses heavily on creativity, which some decks do with Temperance. I always see Temperance more as timing, patience, alchemy, etc.

I actually like this quote from the guidebook:

"As Sagittarius, communicate yourself and your inspirations to the world by shooting forth through the rainbow your ideas, visions and products. Your creative expression, like the orchid, has an impact on the world."

O.K. See, that is not so bad. As a Sagittarius rising, I definitely can relate to that. I have many, many Sag friends and I can relate to their energy. I also like the message of communication and creative expression, both of which are important to me now, despite not being interested in painting and drawing at present. It doesn't pigeon-hole me into sitting down and doing a gigantic painting, which makes me want to vomit right now. Not really, but honestly I have felt a growing need within me to shift what I do away from art, hence why I've been focusing so heavily on my tarot blogging and other endeavors in the past couple of years.

While I have done tarot for the better part of the last dozen years, I was simultaneously working on artistic pursuits. Now I find those stripped away and I'm trying to decide where to go next. I also think of the concept of balance and blending that is so often presented with Temperance.

In order for my life to be fulfilling I have to balance the types of activities I do. Humans are restless creatures and need variety. Perhaps I just need to find the activities that I can juggle, beyond whatever I am doing normally. Or maybe just find a different way of presenting them to the world.

After sitting here in thought for a few minutes I have realized something interesting: I have ALWAYS struggled with making art. It has never felt totally natural! While my so-called 'talent' in art has always been there, making it has often felt forced or tiring. There have been a few moments throughout my life where this has not been true but otherwise it has been a bit of a struggle.

I'm not sure if this is a relevation or not, but it feels like one. Tarot, on the other hand, has been more natural for me. There have been difficult moments here and there, mostly connected to my self-esteem being low or feeling fearful of how to present myself, but anyway.

Again I am not sure what to think of this. I want to find more things that feel 'right' to me, and not just forced upon me by expectations or even talents. You don't have to do something just because you're good at it. I don't know. Something to think about.

As I put this blog post up I saw the volcano down below as a sacrifice to the volcano goddess (aka my daughter...laugh!)...throwing out all that isn't useful to me creatively or otherwise. Good riddance!


Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Stalker Card Spread: Page of Swords

So, popping over to Inner Whispers recently I saw Chloë using this spread. I knew I had some stalker cards but wanted to think of one I had seen a lot recently. So I came up with the Page of Swords, who I've seen a lot over the past year or two. I decided this was a good card to use because it has a very specific and personal meaning for me.

The Page of Swords is the card I assigned to the baby I was considering having, but then decided against, when my husband got a vasectomy in the spring of 2011. I kept getting this card around this topic, and even after the vasectomy the card showed up again and again, haunting me about our decision to not have another. It was painful to see it come up and I hated it every time it did. I kept questioning and second guessing our decision, and feeling a wave of sadness every time I thought about it. Obviously I hadn't dealt with it.

Anyway. Moving onto the reading so this doesn't go on and on for eons. Card 1 is the Tower and it shows why I had to have this lesson. Again this card has a very specific and personal meaning for me. The Tower card is the card I got again and again when my daughter began having seizures, and it served as an eerily accurate predictor of her having a seizure. I would shrink inside of myself whenever I saw it...I knew it meant an impending seizure, usually that night. Now when I see it I know it is in the past. At least so far it has been (for three years!) and when I see it in this spread as why I had to learn this about the Page of Swords I see it immediately as, 'So you don't have to deal with THAT scenario a second time.'

The scenario, of course, being a child with health issues stemming largely from genetic polymorphisms, an inability utilize b-vitamins (methylation defects) and other issues, which has given way to a long road of biomedical approaches with (so far) ultimately very good results. There is a large chance that another child would have similar issues (or different, but still hard issues) considering my genetic heritage which is highly visible on both my husband's and my sides of the family. The combined effect of my husband's and my DNA is devastating (I know how that sounds but seriously!) and more major health problems on both sides (including young cousins) keep emerging day by day and ranges from severe autoimmune illness to seizures, to autism, to MS, lupus, Crohn's, severe depression, bipolar, mental illness, addiction, Alzheimer's and on and on.  Yes, I also believe in the healing power of epigenetics and in good surprises, but my gut feeling initially told me not to pursue having another child.  I am grateful things aren't worse. In all of my extensive research, and in my meeting of parents out and about, I've seen folks who have multiple children with severe issues. I cannot imagine doing this again with another child, or three more! Ack.

Card 2 shows what I will learn by the end of it. 6 of Coins. Give and take. How to give and receive generously in the world. A good lesson but I admit I'm a bit puzzled by how that will play out. It's OK, though. I am not going to obsess over it. There is also a playful and festive mood to the card. The phrase that popped into my head is, 'You will learn to enjoy and appreciate life.' This is something I've found difficult with a lifetime of severe anxiety issues, another great gift of my genetic legacy, but also one I've cultivated unintentionally. I am working on busting my patterns and doing what I can to go against an anxious nature in an anxious world.

Card 3 is the Stalker Card...Page of Swords. Although I am sad that I don't have my second child, and this feeling may never entirely go away, I know that, for our family, we made the decision that was right for us, and wishing and hoping and wondering will not do me any good. I must learn to move forward decisively, and make good use of the life I have.

Card 4 shows how I am doing right now in terms of this issue, and I got the 10 of Cups. Not too bad. I have a loving family, fulfillment, and my daughter is doing very, very well overall. She's smart, she's funny and creative, she's learning even though I haven't quite figured out the perfect schooling scenario and I'm doing it from home for now (but that's OK!), and she's seizure free. This is all I can ask and if this continues, even if other stressful things happen, I will be so, so glad.

Card 5 is the 'pass or fail' card, which I found fascinating. Is life or a task something you can pass or fail? Not sure, but this card is a good card. I think it shows me that I am learning how to truly love, and truly sacrifice, which nothing but life and love can teach you. I like that the 10 and the Ace are side by side. New beginnings and conclusions go hand in hand. I guess I'll take this as 'Pass' since I feel like I'm finally beginning to process some of the painful feelings this has brought up in me. I am not trying to avoid these feelings, nor am I trying to wallow in them. Ace of Cups can represent the pure, unadulterated expression of feeling. It is neither bad nor good. It's just feelings.

Finally we have Card 6, taken from the Faerie Guidance Oracle, which is Serenity. This is something that makes even more sense to me today than it did the other day when I pulled it. I've been thinking a lot about anxiety and fear the past few days. Serenity has eluded me my whole life. I've always been bathed in an aura of agitation and fear. I would love to experience true serenity, and I hope that I can continue on a path that will enable that.

I admit that when my daughter's health issues came up I feared that my entire life was ruined and that I would never know any kind of peace or happiness, that I would always worry. Because all I've known is anxiety and when something happens that triggers the anxiety or ratchets the anxiety higher, you start to think you'll either lose your mind or have a breakthrough, and I do hope it's the latter!


p.s. Thank you to Tarotize and Inner Whispers for showing and sharing this spread!

Monday, December 17, 2012

Faerie Guidance Oracle: Current Themes Reading

Last night, when I took a little break out by myself, I spied this Faerie Guidance Oracle on the shelves at Barnes & Noble. Even though I don't want to get a lot of decks right now, I decided to get this one. I sold my Paulina Tarot a couple of years ago and I kind of miss its wispy wisdom. I like the images on this deck better, though, as they're richer with color and the images are clearer.

The deck has 40 cards and is an oracle, and although I usually prefer more cards I don't mind that there are only 40. They are great for determining themes or areas to work on, and so far I am using them primarily for that purpose. So here are three cards representing current themes as I near the end of 2012. I also did a 2013 reading for myself last night but (DOY) I forgot to write down the cards. I remember some of them, but I will re-do that soon. I think I'm still focused on 2012! Hehe.

The first card is 'Choice' which shows me that I am still in decision mode in terms of where to go from here. I haven't yet decided if I want to do a part-time business or what I want to pursue next. Whether or not to travel next year, whether or not to do...well, most anything. I'm still in limbo on a number of fronts because I don't feel I have all of the information I need and also because I think I am nervous. But this card shows that I have some control, at least over what I decide to focus on. I may not have total control over how things go, and that's just life for you!

The second card is 'Sanctuary', and this card is very much like the Hermit and/or High Priestess in terms of meaning. Although my first instinct is to say this is about alone time, and I still think that is relevant, I also think this deals with my considerable anxiety issues, particularly at night (see the dark night sky in the card) after reading this quote from the book:

"Through sanctuary, feelings of anxiety and turmoil can be put to rest by connecting to the healing and rehabilitating essence of inner silence."

Actually I'm going back to my original interpretation of healing alone time. I think the act of finding nurturing alone time and meditation will help restore my equilibrium, which has been off for a while now. I've had severe night anxiety since I was little, which has waxed and waned over the years, but never gone away. Perhaps now is the time to really address it through sincere self care, meditation and alone time. The card mentions finding a literal space that you can make your own, and it also mentions things like relaxing baths (which I definitely do a lot lately!) and other means of finding inner sanctuary.

The final card is healing, and I think if I had to put a name on this trio, then healing would be more accurate than most things. There's a sense of healing and rejuvenation to the entire reading. This card talks about all of the facets of health (mind, body, spirit) but especially focuses on the chakras for some reason, which interestingly goes along with my reading on energetic healing with chakras and meridians. I've been doing my energy healing study and have applied it some but I need to keep it up and learn more so I can apply it fully. The other thing mentioned is physical healing, diet and just general well-being. But anyway. Definitely goes with the idea of sanctuary and finding ways to revitalize myself.

All in all this is a very beneficial reading which I'll try to use to apply to a routine of self-care and  self-awareness. I've felt anxiety and ickiness really creeping up on me lately and I want to nip it in the bud.

I hope everyone is having a good day.


Saturday, December 15, 2012

Stop...Hermit Time!

If you don't understand the title of this post, then go watch this video first.

Anyway. Here is the card I drew recently when asking what would make me feel better. DUH. Alone time! Hehee. Good quality alone time. I'd rather not ascend a rock face with a lantern, but if I must...


Friday, December 14, 2012

Crusty, Cranky Cat!

This week I've felt very bedraggled and stressed. Physically I've felt off (5 of Pentacles) with an almost week long sinus and stress headache and my period is going on, and I've been worried about money for possible near future travel expenses (5 of Pentacles), and feeling emotionally burned out and bummed (5 of Cups). I'm also on edge and trying to make it through the week (9 of Wands). So I think this reading is accurate. When I pulled these cards I was just looking for some guidance or confirmation on what I've been feeling.

We all have days, weeks, months, years like this. We feel burnt out, disappointed or burdened by something. That something can be a feeling, situation, person...anything. But ultimately it's how we deal with it that makes a difference, and that is what I need to take from this. If I feel this way I need to have my husband rescue me a bit this evening and weekend after a full week of dealing with my daughter's mood, behavior and other issues.

I admit I lost it a bit today with my daughter who fussed and cried and acted out. I snapped at her and told her that all she did was fuss and cry after I devoted all my time and energy to her. Yes, I do realize she's doing a lot better for which I am grateful, and I do realize that much of what is happening is transitory, but I really struggle with that feeling of lack of appreciation and just generally feeling like, 'WTF am I doing here on this planet?' Hehee. Oye.

I want to thank Chloë for making my day a lot better by sending me the reading I purchased from her, giving me a boost and some perspective, and also a marvelously helpful, supportive and amazing bonus gift. Thank you so much for your friendship. And thank you to my lovely tarot friends and blog readers for making me more sane when I feel like things are futile.

Right now my daughter is pestering me yet again. I implored her to give me five minutes to finish what I'm doing. Sigh. :)


Thursday, December 13, 2012

Path of the Heart

I pulled this trio recently and thought it was really nice. I am not 100% sure what it refers to, but it is something important, since the 'Well' and 'Arrow' cards are both about important things, at least that's my perception of these cards. If I had to make an educated guess I would say that this is related to my daughter's health and well-being, since nothing is more important to me. I think this has the feeling of 'nurturing what you love' and getting good results. Not only following your heart's desire but working steadily toward fulfilling it with love, dedication and hard work.


Tarot of Pagan Cats: Family Travel and Celebrations

I whipped out my adorable Tarot of Pagan Cats Mini that I purchased maybe a month ago but haven't used much yet. I mean, I've used it several times but I haven't blogged much with it. I love the images but they are detailed and lack a ton of contrast so they are best shown one or two at a time.

The three cards I received in today's draw are the Queen of Pentacles, World and 10 of Pentacles. I would say that this immediately made me think of traveling to see family. The two people who embody the Queen of Pentacles in my life (the two main people, I should say) are my Taurus grandmother and my super stellium in Virgo mother-in-law. Otherwise I actually know very few earth sign women. There is one other possibility, and that is my naturopath and I see her as the Queen of Pentacles sometimes, too.

Anyway. Back to the traveling part. The World I see as distant travel. It doesn't have to be international travel although it can certainly be. I still see it as general travel most of the time, but also as advancement to a next level, graduation, etc.  I don't quite understand the two almost identical images with one cat thinking about himself. Hrm. The only thing I can see is that the cat looks bigger on the bottom. Is this the cat thinking of when he was younger? The cat on top is apparently a thought bubble, but why is he thinking that? So confusing. Hahaa! AHHhhhhhhhh.

The 10 of Pentacles makes me think of family get-togethers and generations. Today is my daughter's 7th birthday. Happy birthday, Chicken Tacos!! I think this reading shows that, but something else. My grandmother is gradually losing her short term memory and I've gotten some external (and internal) pressure to visit her soon. My husband's family is also having health-related stress and we haven't seen them for several years mostly due to our own stress and health difficulties. But now we're concerned about my husband's dad (my father-in-law), since he's been in the hospital a lot and we really want to get out to visit.

Either way...I will ponder on these things. The main issue of traveling is money, but how my daughter will do is another. Overall she's doing very well, but not sure how travel will go. I think it's doable. Last time she wouldn't get on a plane but she has actually asked about it recently so maybe we'll fare a lot better. I just wish it wasn't so pricey!


Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Hexagram 8: Holding Together

Today I got this card both on the online oracle as well as with the real one I own so it's a repeat card. I only drew two cards so I feel this must be important enough to post.

This is Hexagram 8 and the title they use is 'Holding Together' and the basic meaning is about cooperation, getting support, teamwork and other group efforts.

I am using a quote from the Oracle of Love about Hex 8:

We can connect with the world by what we feel inside as well as by what we do outside. 

I feel like that is a really unusual way to look at cooperation and connection. I DO think this is especially true for me. How and what I feel internally vastly changes what I do on the outside and/or what happens when I interact with others. If I'm feeling miserable, drained, absolutely changes my interactions. When I am prepared, open, rested, I feel so much more connected. I find that in survival mode I have difficulty relaxing into community connection. It feels very unnatural for me.

For others that I know, particularly Aquarians, their way of calming themselves involves connection in groups and with multiple friends at once. For me, I find it overwhelming and I prefer one on one interactions. But I admit there are times where I feel like I need to embrace group energy and not avoid it, such as when I feel drawn to teaching or maybe even a party.

Perhaps I need to find the gift in group interactions and carry that over into my life so I don't feel isolated during those times when community feels absent as it often can in our modern world. A good example of a community I feel comfortable is our little divination community. Love to you all!

Love and See Y'all Later,

Monday, December 10, 2012

Tao Oracle: Splitting Apart

Happy Monday, Loves...

I decided to use the Tao Oracle online, even though I own the deck and can easily post with it (lazy much? hehee...) and I got Hexagram 23: Splitting Apart. This is probably the closest thing to the Death card in terms of basic meaning.

I find this a little chilling to be honest. I mean, just a little. I wonder what it is referring to? Like the Death card and I suppose Death itself, I shouldn't be afraid, but I always am afraid of change.

Perhaps it's referring to the apocalypse! Just kidding. Seriously I am not one of those 2012 End of World people. Honest!

But really. I am going to meditate on the concept of letting go.

The hexagram of Splitting Apart means that something in your life is at an end.  Without endings there would be no possibility of a fresh beginning to bring new life, for everything is cyclically restores by letting go of the old.  Under the circumstances, the only choice is to let nature run its course.  Put all your energy toward facilitating the process.  Be very firm with yourself, avoid self-pity, and get ready to move on.  Whatever is being put to rest now needs to be.  Although things are deteriorating, you need not collapse with them; instead, appreciate the transformative power of this time.    'Let go so that you may be restored' is the dynamic of Splitting Apart.  Withdraw now from any thoughts, situations, or people that are obstructing the process of letting go, and surrender to it.

Sunday, December 9, 2012

All Bears Tarot: My Hormones and Projects

Hormones, Projects and Bears...Oh My!

Looking over this reading I feel really good about it, even with the mysterious and moody moon sitting right in the middle. This sounds like me. Besides actually being very near my moon time (in a day or two) I have just been in a strangely moon-esque moody mood.

Message for Magic Mentha:

Four of Wands
Your work is done and time for a celebration or holiday!  Planning celebrations regarding your job, career, or family.  Can be a marriage. MM's note: This is interesting. Reminds me of the feeling I've had all year which is that there's always something major I need to do. I am not saying there isn't still something going on, but I love the idea of setting down your concerns and celebrating. Also goes with the bevy of December birthdays and holidays I have for friends and family. I've purchased the gifts (ouch-ish checkbook), and I've prepared things for the most part, and now I need to chillax a bit. The whole year is winding down and it's time to get reflective and also grateful.

The Moon
Things are not really what they seem to be.  Confusion in a situation.  The truth is hidden from you.  Something is not quite right, but the truth will be revealed later on. MM's note: besides the hormonal balance meaning--I've been researching estrogen dominance which I think I have, and have been using natural progesterone cream a bit, which has shown some benefit--I feel this shows me that I don't really know what I am doing next still. I am starting to think that's the main meaning of this card, but I do think it has a dual meaning of achieving hormonal balance. I actually found myself asking myself aloud what I was planning to work on next, project-wise, because I am a good deal happier when I have a project to work on. But I speculated aloud that I had to get my priorities straight and not do things just because, but if they felt true to me.

Nine of Coins
Financially independent.  Having planned well, you will have everything you need to enjoy yourself.  Seeking (or having) wisdom (or receiving guidance) regarding your finances or health. MM's note: I see this card as being the independent business owner type--someone who makes their own hours or works for themselves, but it can simply show someone who does things for themselves in a material and physical sort of way. I think it also shows my need to be more careful with money and think about savings and also do what a financially savvy woman would do. I have seen the combination of 4 of Wands and 9 of Pentacles before and I see it as 'working at home' or 'working from home' which makes sense in my current role as full-time, homeschooling mom.

All Bears Tarot: My Daughter's Upcoming Doctor Visit

My Daughter's Doctor Visit

Seeing this trio pertaining to my daughter's Tuesday appointment with her integrative/functional medicine doctor I think it shows that we have somethings to work on but that it's a 'work in progress' and I shouldn't be too discouraged. At least that's my general read on it.
The Tower   (Reversed)
Not able to see the positive possibilities in a situation.  Lesser crisis situation...or crisis just barely avoided. MM's note: I think this makes sense. Instantly, I think of the reversed Tower as my daughter's seizures under complete control (and we found the root of them) but somehow I am still filled with anxiety. This is understandable on the one hand, since there is no guarantee of them staying at bay, even with the knowledge we have, but at the same time, I MUST learn to appreciate that the crises we have now are much smaller in comparison to what they were a few years ago.

Five of Wands
Confrontations at work or with friends or family.  Facing arguments or hassles from co-workers or others in your life, but feeling that your ideas or ways are the best.  You want changes in your life or work. Dealing with challenges regarding others on your job, career or family, or friends. MM's note: O.K. Well this makes me think of an ongoing struggle with yeast and bacteria in my daughter's gut. A lot of kids with neurological difficulties (ADHD, seizures, autism, mood difficulties) tend to have gut issues. In fact, this is one of the main causes of mood and behavior problems for many kids, which is why I think it's important for me to work on this area especially hard. This is commonly known by folks who use biomedical protocols as we do. Personally, I think these issues are far more common in the general populous than anyone would care to know but we only pay attention to them when something like seizure, severe digestive and other issues emerge. I got this card a long time ago and it instantly made me think of the overgrowth of yeast. Don't ask me how but it just did. Now I always see it (especially when it comes up in context about my daughter) as yeast/candida.

Eight of Coins
Education.  Re-skilling.  Learning to master something.  Perfecting something of value.  Stick to it and it will bring you financial reward, if you want it.  Having inner strength in your finances or health. MM's note: I think this shows the doctor giving us some tools to figure out the best way to go from here with my daughter's progress. She's doing well on many fronts but mood/digestion and a few other areas need work. Sometimes these tools are tough to implement.  I'm already considering a few things which I am going to talk to him about. Most of which are targeted to probiotic and dietary changes. This card, I feel, shows something being hammered out solution-wise.

All Bears Tarot: Don't Be a Control Freak for Your Daughter's Birthday Week!

  My Daughter's Birthday Celebration

Using Message for Today and All Bears Tarot

My Daughter's Birthday Week Reading
The Emperor   (Reversed)
Rigid with self-interests.  A control freak.  MM's note: I hate to say it but I really think this is referring to me. I tend to get tense and control freaky. Planning, parties, holidays make me tense...
Ten of Cups
Major changes in your relationships and taking them to a new higher level.  Joy and happiness surround your home and family now.  Positive things happening now. Having inner strength in your relationships. MM's note: I think this, along with the 10 of Coins, shows a family get together. My daughter's seventh birthday is on Thursday and we're having a little party with my folks.
Ten of Coins
Major changes are coming in your finances.  Getting a new home is a possibility. Financial success now.  Stable times ahead of you.  Having it all.  Having inner strength in your finances or health.  Family helps you.  Possible inheritances. MM's note: as I mentioned above I think this shows generational celebrations. My parents are coming over for my daughter's birthday (we already got together with my siblings and so forth on Friday) for a little b-day celebration.

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Career Path Changes and Other Cautionary Tales

Here are some cards I got the other day that I decided to post. They are sort of repeat cards (except for Peacock), which seem to pertain to a job/career-focused change. I am still waiting on payment for my recent holiday art show and sale, but that's ok. I don't want to be too picky about when it arrives. There is no hurry.  Anywayyyyy.

I am not 100% sure what the Peacock symbolizes. I am not a very proud person. I'm rather I don't know what this could refer to? The only thing I can think of is that sometimes I feel so nervous that I am afraid to accept payment. I kind of had to poke at myself the past couple of days in order to accept that it's OK for me to be paid for whatever goods and services I make. I often am my own worst enemy, blocking opportunities that could help me fiscally and otherwise.

Well...just a thought.


A Money Journey

This is an interesting and fairly literal pull. I love these cards! Thanks again, Rae, for making them...

I pulled these cards last night right before going to bed. At the time, I had been fielding a couple of orders for epsom salt bath blends I had made, which surprised me to be honest. I am always baffled when anyone expresses an interest in anything I do. I guess I should change that attitude.

Anyway, someone ordered 10 of the bath salts, and another person got 3. I am including a few extra for the person with the large order, and one extra for the person with the order of 3. I definitely think it's important to show appreciation for patrons and customers.

So on to the cards. The first row is Carriage, Elephant and Needle & Thread. I find it interesting that there are two 'journey' cards. This isn't just a simple act of whether or not I receive money (bottom row) but my own journey to figuring out the most natural and healthy way to do this.  I think it shows that the process is a varied and long one involving my sincere desire to make an income stream that is in line with what I really enjoy doing and what other people enjoy and benefit from.

Then there's just the literal part. Upon waking I received word via Facebook message to expect payment to the large order via PayPal sometime in the next few days. I love it when the cards are this literal. It makes things easier. The waiting for news, package, letter and money coming combo can also refer to the check I'm expecting from the art center where I read tarot and sold salts.

Hope you all have a nice day. Tomorrow is unusual because my husband takes the day off. This is the last one of the year he is able to take off, borrowed from next year, with the exception of a couple days off around Christmas. My parents, siblings, daughter etc, are getting together to celebrate one of my little sister's birthdays over lunch.