Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Be Back on October 1st!

Hello Dearies,

I've been on the computer WAY too much lately.

I am going to take the last week of September off.

I will see you all on October 1st!

I love October, and it's my husband's 40th birthday this year. At his request we're having an 'Over the Hill' party.

So funny.

Anyway. Lots of love to you all.

I will probably still read your blogs, though I may not comment on all of them.

Big Hugs,

Tea Leaf Fortune Cards Pull for October with a Goal Focus

I decided to pull October with the Tea Leaf Fortune Cards, even though I already did so. This time I wanted to add a focus of creative/work path goals. I thought the cards reflected my question quite well.

The cards 'Mountain Road' and 'Ladder' talk about working on goals, showing success with appropriate effort. Both cards emphasize the need to work in a focused way in order to avoid problems. In fact, problems are guaranteed, but to stay on the path. You wouldn't veer off the cliff when driving on a mountain road, and you wouldn't want to fall off a ladder...

In the bottom row we have a gentler, warmer sense of this topic. Sunrise is pretty self-explanatory, as are most of these cards, which is part of why they're so appealing. It literally speaks of new creative ideas and ventures, which is the reading's topic. It's a very positive and warming card, not unlike the Sun in tarot, but with a dash of 3 of Pentacles or something in it. 

Teapot is the last card and it shows connection and friendship playing a part, particularly with people of the same gender. Either that (and this happens sometimes) or literal tea will be involved. Don't laugh! One of the homemade gift items I was thinking of making is custom tea blends. I love tea and it wouldn't be hard at all to get bulk herbs and teas and blend my own.

Hope everyone has a pleasant day.


Page of Swords: Little Boy Blue

Dear Fellow Blue Folk,

The Page of Swords, which I've dubbed 'Little Boy Blue', has been visiting me quite a bit the past couple of weeks in readings. This card is hard for me to look at. I just feel down and forlorn when I look at him. He represents the son I decided not to have. Why does he keep coming back?

I suppose I could assign another meaning to this card but it doesn't seem to work. Whenever I see it I just feel a pang of sadness and longing. I know everyone sees this as a young, bright person, or a learner, or someone quick-witted or some other interpretation, which I am sure is true, all I can see is my own vision of it. I guess I can be pretty myopic in that way.

Oh, also--I changed my page design and colors. The colors are, yes, blue tones. I also really adore Joni Mitchell's album 'Blue'...one of my faves.

Anyway. I had better get to bed! 1:30am is late enough.


Monday, September 24, 2012

Traveling with the Knight of Wands

Peeking out of my tarot bag is the Knight of Wands. It came up for me a few times recently (as it did in this image from yesterday), and then again this evening when I greedily viewed Submerina's excellent reading for me.

When I was doing this reading (there was a longer reading before this final pull) I had the thought about 'travel' when I saw this card. It's one possible meaning of this card but not the only one. It can mean moving residence, travel, and also just general momentum and gusto. It is not a stagnant card, for sure! This isn't the slow and methodical Knight of Pentacles.

This was the clarification to the earlier reading. I had put my cards back into the deck and then I decided to pull 'one more card' and this is the card I got. I wonder how this will make an appearance in my life. Will I REALLY be able to travel more (certainly not this year--but maybe in 2013?) or does it mean something else...like the momentum I described above?

Let us end with a quote from the book:

"Seek out the experiences that make you feel alive."



The Promise of Change: Caterpillar

One of the things I love about this deck is its ability to be especially direct at times.

I had a very specific question for it. My daughter has been insanely grumpy, obstinate, moody, weepy lately and I don't quite know what to do. It's hard to know what is health-related, what is a passing mood or phase or...what. Any number of things could be off. But all I know is that she has a baseline of 'quite or very moody' and when that dials up another notch or to and becomes 'extremely moody--caution!' then my life becomes extremely unpleasant. No matter what I do, I run into it all day long. Nothing I do parenting-wise makes a difference when she's in this mode.

Anyway. I won't go into it but it's very complicated, especially with the neurological component of sensory issues, ADHD and mood problems. Add to that her biomedical treatments, which can have side effects (as well as help tremendously in other areas--cognition, etc). I know I have to hang in there, but sometimes I just feel so angry...and incredibly sad.

My question was:

Is this current high level of moodiness transitory or will we be having to deal with this for a long time to come?

The answer was this card. I thought it was a pretty direct answer--but I have to be honest--I don't entirely believe it. I've been dealing with this issue for pretty much the entire time my daughter has been alive, which is seven years this winter. I have lost faith in some aspects of this situation, but I've been proven wrong in other areas, so I hope this is the case. It's really, really hard to deal with someone who is constantly cranky, and who you spend so much time with.


Single Card Stella Tarot Pull: Working from Home?

Lately, I've been thinking so much my ears are starting to steam and smoke. I've been burning to do something new, but I'm also picky and want to do something I like.

Specifically, I want to do a little part-time venture that I enjoy and that makes me some money. Nothing fancy, not a get rich quick scheme, just a little income stream and some fun.

I'm awaiting my free reading from the ever-awesome Submerina on this topic, but in the meantime I am dabbling here and there with my own readings.

Today's pull is especially quick, simple and lazy. I suppose that's a poor attitude to take when you're trying to be industrious and work-related. Anyway. No matter!

I was specifically asking about an on-line venture, something I brainstormed late last year and then didn't follow through with,  likely due to financial constraints, distractions, lack of self-confidence, and the fact that I cared far more about moving.

Now, almost a year later, I am wondering if maybe it wasn't such a bad idea. Yet with almost every idea I have, I have to set aside money to make things to sell. This is true whether I paint or make bath and body products, or whatever it is I do. The only case where it isn't true is tarot readings. I already have the decks and tools to do those.  Anyway.

In pulling a single card for the topic of this on-line shop, I got the Four of Wands. This could mean a few things. One of my main, go-to meanings for this card is working from home. It can mean being a stay-at-home parent, which I am, or it can mean an at-home cottage business. I realize this isn't necessarily the traditional meaning.

Even the traditional meaning is quite positive and supportive, and speaks of initial successes, stable beginnings, and a decent foundation. Still in the early stages. One of the key phrases for this particular deck is 'the fruit of labour'. I decided to leave the european 'u' in it because it's lovely.

I also think about the image itself. It shows a couple. Perhaps my husband can assist me in this business. He is great with his hands and has cut out wooden shapes for me in the past, and helped with other details. In any event, I'll need his support, whether it's in watching our daughter or helping with some other aspect of things.

I like this post about working with the Four of Wands, which has some good pointers on how to employ this type of energy.


Saturday, September 22, 2012

Catching and Carrying Imps

I really wasn't sure what to make of this draw I did recently, but I thought it was a cool image to post.

 If anyone has any bright ideas about it, let me know! 


A Little Dash o' Death

Halloween Tarot's Death card, edited in Be Funky (cartoonizer effect)

Here's a card that I've gotten a few times recently. I got it today when I received a reading from a lovely reader I know at the local fall metaphysical fair.

Anyway, the idea of an exciting, life-affirming and interesting (she used the word fun a few times) change was highlighted. Of course, being the natural skeptic that I am I filed it in the back of my mind.

I love this version of the Death card. What a charming and quirky image. Sometimes there is too much melancholy, too much intensity in this card's visuals, but this deck adds that touch of whimsy that I enjoy. It reminds me of Day of the Dead--where humor, life and love are weaved into the images of death. Skeletons are smiling, dancing, playing banjos.

I think what I'll take from this is that although change is hard, death is hard...there is a tremendous need to temper this starkness with some levity and fun. Life isn't meant to be totally serious and stressful.

So I'll try to take the advice to accept change as joyfully as possible, even though there is often a pretty hefty dose of pain. If I can wince my way through the pain I might be able to get to the good stuff...the fun of it.


Chloë's Two Card Spread: Transforming & Assisting

After reading Chloë's recent blog post with her ingenious yet simple two card spread, I decided to try it for myself!

The first card is to represent what in the person's life needs to be transformed. Although I had no idea how this would play out I was quite curious! The answer amused me. I got my court card! So that means that I need transforming! At first this may seem terribly vague. And I suppose it is, but something that a lot of people do (and especially women, mothers) is focus so heavily on other things in their life (money, their child/ren, their husband, whatever) that they forget their own goals and feelings. The nurturing urge tends to eclipse their own, personal concerns.

Today has been very much about re-asserting my own energy into things. The presence of this card as an end-of-day affirmation has been very telling! I went to the local autumn metaphysical fair, the last fair of the year, and I felt like I wanted to focus on myself more than usual. The last few readings have been more about moving house or other things, but this reading highlighted new, interesting and creative energies coming into my life. The reader (who is someone I have been to a number of times and like a lot) seemed excited at what she was seeing for me in the reading. So far her readings have been surprisingly helpful and accurate. I'm always amazed by that.

Anyway. So we have the creative, emotive Queen of Wands. This is one of the very few Queen of Wands card depictions (when you read the book) that speaks to me more than the usual Leonine Queen of Wands-type cards. I don't always relate to those, primarily because of all of the Pisces in my astro chart (moon, mars, south node). This description talks about the Queen of Wands being a blend of Aries and Pisces. I suppose that, and the amazing likeness of the Page of Wands to my daughter, is part of why I love this deck and connect easily to it.

Lastly, we have the glum, mopey, dreamy and dopey Four of Cups. Some key words that generally go with this card are: discontent, re-evaluation, ennui, boredom, dissatisfaction, dreamy, ungrateful, lost. Now, I suppose it sounds odd to have this card as a recommendation, but I am reminded of the description in the Zerner-Farber and Enchanted Tarots (same thing) that asks the querent, 'What is it that you are unsatisfied with?' If you can pinpoint those things, then you can start to understand what it is you want out of your life. If you are handed things without knowing yourself then you start to get overwhelmed, confused and empty.

Advice from the book about this card:

"Look for ways to be reinspired."

I like that idea. As if the inspiration is there but unkindled. Dormant. Dry kindling that needs a match (or wet kindling that needs to dry out). Either way, there's a sense of stagnation (4 can be stagnant, especially in the water element in tarot) and a sense of emotion, and the combination is a sort of 'blah' kind of thing, where there is potential but no movement. That makes sense to me that I would need to address this!

Much Love,

Visual Vignettes: Housewives Tarotscape

Thursday, September 20, 2012

A Return to Tarot Readings

Hello Dolls,

I decided to go ahead and offer some readings on my website again. I figure I should just keep them up there. I really should make a link to the readings on my blog. I guess I will go do that.

I can't quite get the formatting the way I like it--I think I'll mess with it more later, but at least it works!


Out of Cash: Another Single Card Stella Tarot Reading

To the left you'll see me, chasing haplessly after a few coins. Hehee. No, but really...

I pulled a single card from the Stella Tarot again, but no Ace of Cups this time...hehe. No, today is more about security.

Today is the day before pay day, and I think I have $3. That is good, though. At least that is something! There have been worse, leaner times, and I know there are lots of people I know who are much tighter for much longer, and so I shan't spend time whining.

However, I would like to set things up so that I am not constantly chasing after the last coin, scared I'll run out. I'm running out of toilet paper (thank goodness for that last roll or two), out of almond milk (my daughter doesn't drink dairy milk), and out of a few other things, but at least there is food! Again, I have had leaner times where there was hardly anything to eat.

I have been seriously considering some sort of part-time employment, or online business. Something manageable, where I would not have to leave my full-time stay-at-home post homeschooling my daughter for long stretches of time. As it is, I don't get to see my husband enough, but it would be great if I could make a few bucks here and there to supplement income.

I admit that I still sabotage myself. For instance, I removed readings from my website, but today I am thinking of offering a selection of affordable readings for people to choose from, so that maybe someone will bite. But I am not going to worry too much. This card's primary message is still about anxiety and worry, and how destructive they are. I am truly grateful that things are going as well as they are, and even though I don't have any money to speak of, I have a nice house and loving family, and I know we'll be a lot better off financially next year, due to me paying off my car, and a few other things.


Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Ace of Cups Again

Again using the My Divination site I decided to pull a single card with the Stella Tarot. I got the Ace of Cups again. Well, I am not sure what to make of this. I tend to have difficulty interpreting this card by itself, but given time and context I may be able to do so.

I'm trying to think back to the last time I received this card, and what I was feeling, but I'm drawing a blank. Generally, seeing this card is a positive card. It seems to lean more toward a positive meaning (as do all the aces) than anything else.

Here's what the card description says:

Fulfillment, perfection, joy, fertility, opulence, productiveness.

Some concepts of this card I've heard:

  • Emotional expression including crying, creating, sharing
  • Love in all its forms--not limited to romantic love
  • Hydration/health--aka, drink enough water
  • A new emotional beginning of some sort
  • Joy, good feelings, happiness
For more info on this card you can go herehere, or one of my favorites: here.


Single Card Consideration for September: 9 of Hearts

Hello Lovey Doves,

Just because I felt like it, I popped over to My Divination and drew a single card for the upcoming week or two (latter half of September) to see what influence there might be.

I got the Nine of Hearts, which is basically almost exactly like the 9 of Cups in the Tarot. Essentially it means wish granted...emotional success. Hrm. Very interesting indeed.

I have think about what wishes I have out there. I know my wishes for my daughter to do well (backed up by lots of hard work over a long period of time) have come to fruition, though there are areas that need extra help.

I will update if something else comes up.

Nine of Hearts
A card of emotional success, signifying your wish is granted and your hopes fulfilled.

Love to y'all,

Super Sweet Blogging Award!

Kerry, of Neopagan Priestess, nominated me for this award and I decided to return the favor because there are so many wonderful blogs out there, many of them have been my friends for the past few years. I feel truly blessed, far beyond what any internet award could give.

There are lots of blogs that deserve attention--I wish I could read hundreds of blogs a day, but I have to pace myself! So if I didn't list your blog, please don't take it personally. I am lucky my brain remembers this many! Anyway...here goes.

1. Give credit to the wonderful person who chose to nominate you!


2. Answer the “Super Sweet” questions


3. Nominate a “Baker’s Dozen” of 13 blogs

I nominate (please note I am making these descriptions short and sweet):

1. Kerry-I love her work with the Tarot of the Sidhe, her vulnerability, perspective, tarot smarts!
2. Prince LeNormand- A friend and kindred soul. He tells stories so well and is so creative and kind.
3. Sharyn- Sharyn is such a gem--sweet, feisty and with great wisdom to share with us all!
4. Monica- Monica is a kindred spirit. Love her voice, interest in astrology, herbs and nature-focus!
5. Submerina-This special lass can go spelunking into the depths of spirit with gusto! Also funny!
6. Pip-Another lovely gal--she is spirited, open, thoughtful, real and not afraid work on herself.
7. Chloë-I consider Chloë a dear friend and I love her insight and support. She is a great reader, too!
8. Spirity-I love her work with Lenormand and other decks that I'm not good with. She's a sweetie.
9. Woley/Judith-A smart, caring and quirky creative, with lots of good info, humor and insight.
10. Siddaleah- I also just discovered Siddaleah (I think she found me) but already love her blog!
11. Helen-Incredibly smart, kind, accomplished--she gives amazing insight and study into paganism.
12. Amanda-Excellent writer, very thoughtful, warm, and accomplished with tarot. Lovely!
13. Shaheen-Super gentle, deep guy, great reader, very evocative writer! He can read tea leaves. :)
14. Marina-(bonus one!) I had to add Marina, even though she's on hiatus. She's most excellent. 

4. Super Sweet Questions

Cookies or Cake? 
Wow. I don't know if I can answer such a question! Do I have to choose? It depends on my mood. I guess I would say cake. There's something so mystical about a cake with its layers of goodness. But then again...any dessert has an amazing power of seduction.

Chocolate or Vanilla?
Hm. This is hard. It does depend on my mood! But I would be sad if I never got to have chocolate again, so I guess I'll pick chocolate.

What is your favorite sweet treat?
I am drawing a blank even though I am sure I have many. I had a gluten-free macaroon today that was lovely but it wasn't my favorite, I'd say. I have a soft spot in my heart for my mom's (gluten-free) angel food cake with whipped cream and fresh fruit. Yum! I also love anything decadent. I just love food! I am not a picky eater, generally speaking. I guess I would say angel food cake with whipped cream. It is the cake my mom always made us for our birthdays. I also love pistachio or chocolate pudding or gelato.

When do you crave sweet things the most?
I agree with Kerry...I definitely emotionally eat. If I've had a rough day/week/month/year...or sometimes as a social thing. Food is so intimately tied withsocial connections.

If you had a sweet nickname, what would it be?
Uhh--well, mentha is mint...does that count?! But my real name (Hannah) rhymes with banana, although I don't prefer banana desserts. One time I made a banana cream pie with a layer of chocolate ganache, though, and that was good.

Delicious and Nutritious: Green Smoothies

This week I was not feeling well and had lingering symptoms of a cold.

Despite my efforts I was not feeling that much better and sleeping badly, too. So, at the advice of a local lady friend I know, I began making green smoothies in the mornings this week.

Only three days into this I already feel better. Perhaps it's psychosomatic, but all I know is that I don't eat nearly enough vegetables, fruit, and nutrients, and there are many benefits to eating lots of vegetables, particularly greens, which I often neglect to do.

I found it incredibly easy to throw in handfuls of spinach, kale or the like into my blender along with banana, berries, avocado, or whatever else sounded good. My favorite was today's smoothie which had a lightly tangy flavor from lime juice, and a wonderful spice flavor not unlike chai.

Here's the basic recipe:

Tangy Green Spice Smoothie:

1 banana, sans peel
1 cup of frozen spinach (can use fresh, too)
handful or two of kale leaves (not the tough stem)
The flesh from 1 avocado
a few tablespoons of lime or lemon juice
1 teaspoon each of cinnamon, cardomom, ginger and allspice (or whatever you want)
a few tablespoons of honey (I used raw honey)
stevia if you like it sweeter
Enough almond or other milk to get the smoothie going (I'd say a couple cups or so)
(optional) some probiotic powder or additional nutrients (spirulina, protein powder, etc)

Blend thoroughly until no bits of greens are visible and everything is homogenized. If your greens are fresh, you can use a frozen banana. If you don't like your smoothies very cold then everything can just be from the fridge or counter and nothing frozen. Mm!

Personally, I definitely noticed a boost from the green smoothies. I found it much easier than eating several cups of greens. I try to sneak greens into various dishes I make but often it's hard to get enough to make a difference. You can definitely digest this very well since it's already pureed, and the nutrients readily available. I love this! Tomorrow I'm adding butternut squash to my smoothie, along with vanilla flavoring, a whole orange...hoping for a creamsicle type flavor.

Yesterday's smoothie had frozen cherries and a couple tablespoons of cocoa powder along with the spinach and other ingredients. That one was super tasty, too. My daughter seemed to prefer that one, but I actually like the 'green' flavor without the cocoa powder.


Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Decorative or Divine: Ace of Cups

Another draw from the New Age Tarot. This is a pretty version of the Ace of Cups, I think. I love the symmetry and dynamic look of it. It reminds me of something I might see in a cafe somewhere, or some other groovy decoration. Once again, the descriptions in this deck are a bit different than I would think:

Ace of Cups
Good health, joie de vivre. Spiritual development. Positive learning processes. strength through medicinal baths. Baptism or initiation. Discovery of new sources of strength.

Well, I am not getting baptized...that is the only one I know for sure, but not sure of the other ones. Hehee. I love the first thing listed which speaks of good health. I haven't felt well the past week and I'm hoping this bodes well for me. I also will drink tons of water, as I often do when I see this card.

Much Love,

Weird Deck, Weird Reading

 Hello Folks,

I popped over to My Divination today because I felt tired and not much like photographing/editing/etc of card images. I did a single card reading about how I don't feel well and what it could mean. The answer is rather strange, but I will do my best to interpret it!

Here was the description:
Three of Cups
Foundation of family or business. Be more persevering. Religious celebrations. Setting up of new schools.
 Hmm. Strange image, isn't it? Several slightly out of shape people holding up giant cauldrons of various things. Different elements? Anywayyyyy. On to the meaning. It is lecturing me to be more persistent. Funny! Religious celebrations can't really be accurate, but setting up of new school makes sense, as we started homeschooling only about a week ago. In fact, I think it was almost exactly a week ago. I am still struggling with figuring out how to do it, but all in good time.

Mostly I am just tired. I was sick for a week and my sleep has been wretched during that time. I have been resisting going to bed for whatever reason--maybe it's the quiet--wanting to find something peaceful at night, in the dark. 

Ugh--hit with another wave of fatigue and nausea. I don't know what is up with me. I did hear that there's a digestive bug going around, and I hope I don't have that on top of whatever I had last week.

I tend to get very hypochondriacal. I always fear the worst. I immediately think 'cancer' or 'diabetes' or whatever is most fatal or problematic. Oye!


Monday, September 17, 2012

My Daughter's Personal Growth Reading

This is something of a companion reading to this reading. Using the quirky, dated, feminista, not-always-very-attractive, but interesting Motherpeace Tarot, I pulled some cards for my daughter recently, asking what might help her personal growth and ability to regulate her moods/emotions, and other areas which need to be resolved, but in their own time.

In this particular deck+book set, there are four possible interpretations of each card: Left-tilted shows the weakened or lessened force, right-tilted shows more of an extreme or overuse of energy, reversed shows the blockage or relief from a certain thing, and the upright is the pure, unaltered but more balanced energy.

The cards I received for her were interesting and are as follows:

Son and Daughter of Wands (Left-tilted): All of the left-tilted cards show a weakened influence and, in my opinion, an area that needs to be dealt with or worked on. Often this energy needs to be brought forward more. I found it kinda cool that both the son and daughter of wands showed up in this reading. Neither one was balanced.  This made me think maybe she is not able to express her fiery energy enough. Perhaps she needs more outlets (like taking her to do more feisty/physical things like dancing or sports, or just something intense and involving) to help her cope with the excess/nervous energy that most fire signs have.

8 of Cups (Upright): This is interesting, too, because this is a very emotional card, often depicted as someone walking away from 8 full cups. In its upright form, it simply acknowledges all of these emotions and needs. Here's what it says (using my daughter's name as the pronounce because I love doing that with this deck): "Pele gathers together her inner resources. She is centering on her deepest emotions and values. There are a myriad of emotions now." To me, this shows that my daughter is in the process of discovering what it is she needs, wants and feels. It can be a painful process, though, which is the added meaning of this card. But sorting out these things is helpful and ultimately assists maturity.

The Fool (Upright): This is another card of discovery and exploration. My daughter IS very fool-esque, which a lot of children are. She wants to explore everything (sometimes to our detriment, but again, that's one of the challenges of parenting). A quote: "Pele represents the pure impulse to act and create no matter what anyone else says." Another quote that I love: "Pele lives in a world where everything is possible." That is the difference between most adults and most children.

5 of Discs (Upright): This card is traditionally described as being about worry concerning physical realities (poverty and job loss, physical health, etc) but in this case I see this, again, as needing outlets for agitation. The anxiety part of it is still intact but in a new way. Here's a quote from the description: "Pele is in a waiting time and there may be a tendency to worry. She can do simple, basic tasks to ground and calm herself." This makes me think of how parents give their children simple chores in order to distract them, calm them, and keep them out of trouble. Also as an outlet for nervous energy. Kids get bored, too! I also think: more physical involvement, more outlets...less chance of acting up and complaining. At least that's a theory.

Very interesting indeed!


Sunday, September 16, 2012

Various Areas of Life Reading

This is another pull from the other day. I posted something about my daughter's development, and I believe this is the pull I did the night before. I just thought I'd include it since it showed a couple of elements that the other reading about my daughter didn't.

I'm not entirely sure if this is only about my daughter...but anyway. Whatever. ;D The format of this is interesting. It's almost like three two card readings, or is it? On the far left we have the 10 of Cups and Empress. That speaks to mothering, family, etc. I'm not sure what else it might be saying.

The two in the center are my daughter's card (Page of Wands) paired with the Ace of Swords. This hearkens back to my daughter's b-12 injections (every three days) which have shown great promise in various areas (and bypassing the genetic polymorphism). So that's interesting.

In the final duo we have the Fool and the 2 of Pentacles. I am not 100% sure what to make of this one. It could refer to trusting (Fool) a new path, or juggling more than one path (2 of Pentacles). It seems like it could be pointing to career--the idea of balancing work and mothering.

Again I don't know. Time for me to try to get to bed by midnight.


Friday, September 14, 2012

Son Sadness

After the positive vibrations of yesterday's reading about my daughter, I am now facing the sad vibe of today's reading. This one is a bit hard for me to post, even though I've written about it before.

I was pulling cards last night while having a hard time getting to sleep. I pulled a single card asking what I needed to let go of and I got the Page of Swords. This card has deep significance for me as meaning the son I was going to have but decided not to (and/or other child!) when my husband got a vasectomy last spring.

I'll be honest. I really thought I'd be over this by now, but a year and a half later I still feel bereaved about not having a second child. I'm still questioning whether I made the right decision. I do know, health-wise, that there are some things that I now know that could help prevent issues in a new baby, with the MTHFR and other concerns, but it's still a difficult topic.

Then this morning I shuffled again and lay down three cards for today. I didn't particularly want to post them but I decided that I should. In the 3 of Swords we see the deep sadness/anguish of the woman. The next card 'The Sun' makes me think more of 'son' and it's a card I got a lot when I was considering having another child. The final card, of course, is the Page of Swords--the card I designated to represent this child.

I believe these feelings are coming up for me again strongly because I know a few people right now who just had a baby boy (a cousin, a friend who got an adopted baby boy, and even my daughter's doctors who just had a son, etc) and it definitely stirred those feelings again, which admittedly are barely under the surface anyway. I had major baby boy envy. I can't deny it.

I'm still not sure how to cope with these feelings, but the cards are acknowledging the struggle.


Thursday, September 13, 2012

Reading About Noticing Great Improvements in My Daughter

Just now I was trying to get my daughter interested in going to bed, as she has a pretty punctual bedtime at 9pm. She's so into her online learning (not the one with the megaton of busy work, this is a different one that's at your own pace) that she's been on it for the past hour and doesn't want to stop!

Anyway, I was pulling some cards and placing them on this teal file cabinet near my desk when this story about my daughter emerged from it. We have her card, the Page of Wands (and this one is eerie because it looks a lot like her. A couple of years ago, when I first got this deck, she asked me why her picture was on the card!) and underneath it we have the Magician. The colors are similar--both with red hats and cloaks. I got a sense of ability and confidence with this combo.

The row next to it shows the World and Judgement, both figures have their arms raised, embracing the world. It also is important to note that half the cards are major arcana cards. I'm so proud to announce my daughter is learning to read and making great progress! A year or two ago, we didn't even know if she would be able to function remotely normally, or without heavy-duty meds that diminish her thinking power and dull her senses. I wasn't sure if she'd even live at one point. But she is healthy and happy, and although there are some lingering issues (particularly with sensory, mood, adhd, behavior, and a few food-related things) I am pleased with how far she has come and how she's so close to being neurotypical---and much healthier!

The two aces are paired on the left-hand side of this reading: Ace of Pentacles and Ace of Swords. This made sense to me right away. The Ace of Pentacles I see as new beginnings in her health. The Ace of Swords I've always associated with the B-12 shots, as this card has come up in readings about them, and it definitely is easy to see that, considering it's a sharp pointy thing. I have absolutely noticed big improvements with the Methyl-B-12 therapy. As we continue it past the two month point she's showing more and more progress. Sometimes it's bigger leaps, other times smaller. It adds up! Healthy methylation is so crucial, particularly for detoxifying the body and normal functioning. This is doubly so for folks with MTHFR. Anyway. I won't ramble on about that.

I really hope that this shows improvements continuing. So far I've seen a pretty consistent trend toward healing with my daughter. Some areas are more stubborn than others, but I know the dedication we have to her is a big part of its success so I will try to work on the weak areas, and continue in the strong.


Web Synchronicity Reading

I had to share this with you all because it was way too cool.

At the risk of sounding wackadoo (wait, I guess that's sort of the default for having a divination blog) I have noticed a 'web' synchronicity since receiving this wonderful reading yesterday from Chloë of Inner Whispers. This is the visual part of the single card reading, with captions! Chloë's reading was wonderful as usual, and she wrote many thoughtful and helpful things, including mention of alternative healing modalities which I had mentioned in passing before.

Yesterday evening, the same day of the reading, I went on a break by myself and popped by a used bookstore across from a coffee shop that I like. I had never been in there. I went to the health section (after looking at a bunch of other sections) and I was drawn to a couple of Traditional Chinese Medicine books, one of them being the classic 'The Web That Has No Weaver'. Although I opted not to purchase this book, I made note in my head about TCM, which I had considered as a career option a decade ago, not long after graduating from art school in 2002. I opted not to do so because, even though I was drawn to it, it was a lot of work and I had just attended college in three separate schools from 1996-2002 and was burnt out. It wasn't time, although sometimes I wish I had done so because now I have a child and no money. Hehe. Anyway.

The cards you see in the image here that I'm holding up to the screen are from the Legacy of the Divine Tarot, and they're the Star and 8 of Swords. I chose them with the question of the possibility of me becoming a naturopath or alternative health practitioner of some sort. Excuse the images, but the 8 of Swords shows a woman in a web! To see a clearer version of this, go here. Note the Gemini symbol in the lower left-hand corner, which is Chloë's sign! The Star made me think of healing, and the web made me think of the reading from Chloë and also the book I mentioned before. Of course it made me also think of the traditional feeling that I am trapped and there's no way I could afford school even if I wanted to (etc. and so forth), but that's what came to mind.

I'll remain open-minded to this possibility, even if it's not going to happen just yet.


Lenormand Three Card Reading About Sleep Difficulties

Regarding MM's Sleep Issues:

32. Moon
Desire, excitement, emotion, redemption.
MM's note: These descriptions kinda suck, don't they?! I hope the real deck and book set is more thorough. In any case, it doesn't matter. I don't really need a book--I usually prefer getting the intuitive message, but it is good to have the fundamental meanings down.  My thought is that this is related to the sleep issue, since that was what was on my mind. The moon shows a night scene, so that seems like a confirmation of my question.

21. Mountain
Obstacle, resistance, challenge, peak experience, objective.
MM's note: Isn't this a groovy image? I love this. If was doing more pendants for my friend's shop I would paint an image similar to this one. It has that groovy, earth mama kinda feel, but the meaning of this card definitely makes sense as the obstacle. It shows a challenge and the word 'resistance' definitely showed up. I'm definitely resistant to going to bed. I want to stay awake but my body is saying, 'no, no, no...rest!' Then I get all tense when I fight it and start feeling a lot of anxiety. I think dropping that resistance will help some.

2. Clover
Nurture, happiness, vitality, endurance.
MM's note: I hope this shows a happy ending! Isn't it a warm, happy card? I decided to use Helen's wonderful reference for the meaning of this card and got this, which makes me think of maybe trying a supplement to help me relax. Perhaps I'll go back to enteric-coated valerian and melatonin before bed, or will try a dose of Ashwagandha before retiring:
Card 2 (6♦): Clover
:), ?, !, luck, optimism, opportunity, small luck, stroke of luck, lucky break, risk, reward, chance, second chance, fling, gambling odds, hope, wild card, fleeting, unforeseen positive turn of events, pleasant surprise, bonus, tip, perk, win, bargain, catch, lucky find, sweetener, boost, refreshment, plant, grass, herb
betting shop, bargain store, junk shop, grassy area, herb garden
etheric body, tonic, vitamins, natural supplement, homeopathy, recovery
Timing (houses):
within 4 days
Timing (other):
Sunday, soon

(By Helen of My Wings of Desire)

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Hubby's Away and a Rainy Day

I pulled four cards to represent the next two days. My husband will be away on his annual safety meeting in Oklahoma. It's always a boring event with the same old info relayed again and again, but it's required. His boss, thank goodness, is covering the traveling expenses, as he's going as well. Usually we have to pay out-of-pocket and then be reimbursed, which isn't as possible this year due to finances being tight.

Anyway. I am not 100% sure what this quad means, but the first card makes sense to me. The Knight of Rods can often mean travel or movement of some sort. I've seen it mean a move literally or some sort of trip on numerous occasions. The Queen of Pentacles--not sure. That seems very practical. There's something fallish about this lady, too, as she's covered in fall foliage. It kind of makes me think of how fallish the weather is this week, and how tomorrow it should be pretty cool and autumny. The giant coin makes me think of business-related things.

The Queen of Wands I assume is me (it's my card), and its' interestingly juxtaposed next to the Queen of Pentacles. It's like the Queen of Pentacles is the fall/autumn card and the Queen of Wands is the summer card with her giant sunflower. That is true in many respects, since the Queen of Pentacles could be likened to Virgo (which rules work, health, among other things) which is in September, and the Queen of Wands is often association with Leo, which is in the summer here (July). Anyway...boring but true.

The final card is the High Priestess. Maybe this means I'll be reading a LOT of tarot to pass the time. I'm still somewhat under the weather. My daughter, besides a mild cough, is almost completely better, but this week (since the weekend) has been spent with a head cold and rainy weather. The former I am not fond of but I don't mind the latter at all. It has been hot and dry lately and the cool rain has been a welcome balm to the desert-like landscape.

Anyway...I am not sure this post is winning any awards but what the hey.

Much Love,

From 3 to 33 and a Key

Using Annikin Today and Tomorrow and Energetic Lenormand

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Influences on Today

3 - Ship
This relates to a long journey whether it be travel or an extension of time. It may mean you are moving forward with your life - your circumstances will seem brighter. This journey carries yours hopes, dreams and desires. It may also presage something that will happen in three days. MM's note: This is nice. I like this card. It reminds me a bit of the Six of Swords. There's improvement, and an implied idea that things may've been rocky, you may've gotten a bit sea-sick, but you're on your way to something.

Influences on Tomorrow 

33 - Key
You may be locking away your emotions and feelings but this may hold the key to your burning question. It may give you the access or opportunity which may have been eluding you. MM's note: This is another great symbol! I love the skeleton key symbol and I know I'm not the only one. Solutions, unlocking things that you haven't been able to in the past, and other good things. Right on!

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Hilarious Bearious Reading

So I pulled these two cards using the Energetic Lenormand and the Today and Tomorrow Spread, and I found the images to be very striking, spikey and hilarious. Overall, it seems positive. Perhaps it shows an improvement in my cold starting tonight and reaching into tomorrow. 

To put it cheesily, perhaps this shows my cold 'warming up'. I like the warm colors. Interesting, the weather is cooling down, and the forecast shows that it should be nearly thirty degrees cooler tomorrow, and rainy! This is good news for us because it has been hot and dry. Very dry!

Here comes the sun...doo, doo, dooo dooo.


Using Annikin Today and Tomorrow and Energetic Lenormand

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Influences on Today

15 - Bear
The bear is associated with wealth in general or cash flow in particular. It can also symbolize the cycle of life, death or renewal. The cards surrounding it will show whether this has a positive or negative effect. It can also mean an older person in your life.

Influences on Tomorrow 

31 - Sun
The Sun represents energy and power, the concious mind and the intellect. It brings warmth and success to your endeavours, and it can mean your true self.

Pressured and Bullied and a Crapload of Money

*Update* I did get a crapload of money, but not for quite a while after this, so I'm not sure if this is referring to that or not, but it seems likely.

When I pulled a single card reading using the Kipper Oracle Cards on My Divination I got 'A lot of money to win' as the card and thought it was silly. Seriously...how likely is it that I'm going to win a LOT of money!?! It just screams lotto delusions or Publisher's Clearing House. 

To make matters more confusing I got the 'Grief and Adversity' card as the clarification to the tons of money card. Haha. Wow. The description of the card:

Someone may try to bully you or put pressure on you to do something you do not want to do.  Your thoughts may not be clear enough to make a judgement.  There just seems worry and frustration around you.

Strange, hunh? Soooo unless I am interpreting this incredibly wrong (or it's just a load of poop) I should expect to be stressed, miserable, confused and harassed in some way, then get a large sum of money. Hrm. Not sure how I feel about that. If this is in ANY way true I will update this post.


Using What of My Today? and Kipper Oracle Cards

What of My Today? 

11 A Lot of Money to Win.
This is all about unexpected money.  Often described as a windfall, it can be anything that contains an element of surprise, with a lot of money attached

Monday, September 10, 2012

Halloween Tarot Bids Adieu to Invisalign™

Today was a strange day.

I don't know what it is but the past week I've been getting into conflicts with people. Perhaps there's some tension in the astrological air (quite possible from that I've read) but I don't want to take the responsibility off of myself for my own contentious ways. Anyway. It's just somewhat odd because I've been trying not to agitate or stress myself in recent months (that's one of my main goals this year, on a subconscious level) but I think the power of tiredness, restlessness, and a need to shift long-standing situations, some of them piddly, won out.

Have any of you ever noticed things like this? Example: you're about to move to a new town and suddenly everyone you know locally starts acting strangely toward you--some or all of them even cut off contact. Or you think maybe you need to move on job-wise but don't quite have the courage to do it. The next week you get fired. I feel like, on some sub-atomic level, we play around with energy and focus and throw ourselves out of whack, just to get the momentum going in the right direction.

The trouble is, this can be unpleasant. Take today for instance. It will sound utterly petty when I explain it but it became a burdensome situation after dealing with it for five years. In 2007, I went in to consult about getting my crossbite fixed with Invisalign. Having already been down the convention braces route as a teenager (for five years!) and having lingering bite issues that may cause tooth loss later on, I opted to take action. At that time we had a bit more financial flexibility. When I dug through the file cabinet I found the receipt. I couldn't believe it! The payment (we payed monthly installments) totalled almost $6,000. And that is for a very unpleasant experience.

I won't go into excruciating detail, and I will right up front say that a good portion of it was my own fault, but basically a couple of the people working there dismissed my concerns (hey, this thing is cutting into my gums making them swell and bleed!) saying there was nothing they could do about it. I didn't accept this answer because I was paying them nearly 6k for these liners and if they were cutting into me I wasn't going to wear them. I threatened to leave and go see another orthodontist, but in order to do so I'd have to shell out another 1-2k...or more. So I stuck around.

The treatment that was supposed to take 12-18 months ending up stretching out to five years. How did this happen? Well, this part of it was largely (maybe entirely) my doing. I admit it. I dreaded going there. I didn't mind so much wearing the liners (once they filed down the part that cut into me) but it was the unpleasantness of going in every time and seeing the expressions on the faces of the people who worked there when they saw my file, covered in sticky notes, saying what a difficult customer I was. They always looked up at me nervously...like I was a time bomb!

Anyway. As time passed and treatment seemed to take longer and longer...well, in the midst of this my daughter's seizures began, and then it became even more stressful to go. I was under a great deal of emotional strain and then to face these people that I didn't particularly like was not fun. I ended up crying at one appointment, only a month after my daughter's seizures began. The orthodontist tried to comfort me, and that was fine, but I felt humiliated and exposed.

So...fast forward to last winter. In November of 2011, I came in after a long drawn-out pause to get my liners checked to see if I had to do yet another refinement phase. The ortho (this time a new guy who had been hired the previous year) suggested I continue for a bit, saying that he would if he was me, because it was paid for, etc.

Of course, I didn't end up going in. I waited and called around when I was moving (in March) and said I wanted to make the appointment soon but wasn't sure if it was safe to get liners made after I'd recently had a crown put in. I wanted to make sure nothing would get damaged. The lady in the office who I'd had the initial back and forth with called back saying to call her back. Then the whole thing faded into oblivion as I got sick of thinking of it.

Then I finally got the courage to call today, thinking I HAD to just suck it up and finish my treatment. I called to make an appointment to get the molds made for the refinement phase. This one, I promised myself, would be the last phase, and if things still weren't good, then screw it. But when I called the lady at desk informed me that I had to speak to the very woman who I had the conflict with, since she did the scheduling and worked on the cases. Ugh. I reluctantly agreed and about an hour or so later I got a call. The woman in question was rather agitated and informed me (cutting me off a few times for good measure) that my case was inactive and had been closed, and that if I wanted to get more treatment I would have to pay them, because once Invisalign had a case open a certain amount of time, they charged the ortho more money. Anyway. So basically I got kicked to the curb!

This is, no doubt, a blessing in disguise (unless I lose that tooth or two I was trying to save) since I dreaded going back into that office every couple of months to be scrutinized by those little biddies who no doubt had gossiped about me. I explained to the hostile scheduling lady that I felt upset that no one had bothered to inform me that my case was going to expire and I would lose the ability to finish treatment. She acted like it was all my fault and that they had tried to contact me. And I agree that I let things drag on too long, but it was my understanding that I had paid for the treatment in full and that included as much refinement as was needed. That's what the orthodontist told me! I didn't know there was a clock ticking.

Long story short, after this tense convo I made the appointment to get molds made for a retainer. Something tells me I'd better make sure they aren't charging me for that. I don't think so, but I will definitely ask. At least I'll be done with these folks before the end of the year. Good riddance!

Briefly: (I've rambled) the cards show me that overall this is a good thing. The 3 of Cups, the 6 of Swords...these show improvement and celebration. The 9 of Cups shows something being fulfilled, and the High Priestess tells me to trust myself. And I find it interesting that the cards on either end (3 of Cups and 8 of Pentacles) have lots of teeth in them. My husband pointed out that the ghosts in the 9 of Cups look like teeth and I agree! They look like a row of teeth as seen from above. The Jack o' lanterns in the 8 of Pentacles all have different types of teeth and that's OK!

Whew. Anyway. That's it for now.


Sunday, September 9, 2012

A Contrast Study: Today and Tomorrow Reading

I love the simplicity of this reading and similarly, the clean and basic nature of this Lenormand, and that it has a time frame that is ASAP. To try it out for yourself go here


In the 'today' position we have the 'Ways' card, which makes sense. I've spent most of today brainstorming about a new path, and I even got myself a book, spending money that I shouldn't be spending on this book. So far it fits what I've been struggling with really well.


For tomorrow we have the 'Park' card, which made me laugh a little interally, because I think it could be quite literal for me. I was thinking it would be a good week to take my daughter to the park because of the cooling temperatures as we transition into autumn. However, tomorrow is actually the hottest day of the week according to the weather service, so perhaps the more figurative meaning of this card is the correct one. 

In many ways, the 'Park' card is similar to the 'Ways' card, and both show a path. The 'Park' card seems a bit more focused, and more like a destination. Today's card is angry and red and yellow, which reminded me of how much of a struggle today was. My daughter is sick with a cold and is grumpier than usual. Nothing we did was met with any sort of acceptance. She cried and fussed and complained all day. My mood wasn't much better. And my husband was also agitated. This card feels a bit hot and angry...uncomfortable.

Tomorrow's card, conversely, feels rather cooling and healing with its blues and greens, so I hope this means tomorrow will run a lot more smoothly than today did. The entire weekend had a kind of unpleasantly tense, tiring feeling to it. This line in the 'Park' card sure feels true:

You may be seeking an escape from the reality of your life and contemplating where to go from here.



Answer my thoughts

Using Annikin Today and Tomorrow and Energetic Lenormand

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Influences on Today 

22 - Ways
A major decision has to be made as there may be various pathways open to you, which will take you on different journeys and will reach different destinations and goals. The choice has to be yours.

Influences on Tomorrow  

20 - Park
You may be seeking an escape from the reality of your life and comtemplating where to go from here. A park is also a social meeting place so there may be someone who can help you find an answer.

Following a New Direction, Seeking Guidance

Hello Pretty Ones,

 Lately I've been struggling with the idea that I am more interested in alternative healing (more appropriately known as functional medicine or integrative medicine) than in art. I have rarely felt the urge to paint or draw, save the brief burst after I moved into our current home. I find myself obsessing over health matters. Of course it doesn't help that I'm a bit of a worrier/hypochondriac. But I think I also have a talent for detail and health-related things (North Node in Virgo?) so I am not sure.

I had this same struggle 10 years ago when I first graduated from art school. Almost immediately after graduating I enrolled in a massage therapy program, only to decide at the last minute not to go. Sometimes I wish I had followed through with either the massage therapy program, or in TCM, or some other modality. Instead, I decided to move to the front range, briefly teach art classes which didn't fill up, then get pregnant and have a high needs child. Although honestly my daughter's health is still my #1 priority, and she's shifting rather noticeably to a more neurotypical place, although there are still some challenges. For this major improvement, I'm very grateful.

Even so, working on my daughter's health issues and investigating their causes has taken a toll on me. My own ambitions are completely shot, except for maybe blogging on here. I enjoy blogging but even then I don't always do as much with it as I'd like. Anyway. My point in writing this is that I think there must be a better balance. I need to learn to gently pull away from the constant caretaking of my daughter and allow other ideas and influences. This is easier said than done, particularly given my anxiety and devotion to attachment parenting, and lingering issues with my daughter.

BUT...I feel like it can be done. Maybe gradually. Over time I'll find my own interests taking more of a central role, but I have to actively choose that. So I am going to work on those baby steps.

Here's a reading I did over at My Divination. Once again I've highlighted key words and phrases that interest me and trigger a cascade of info in my brain. I can't type any more now because my daughter and husband are waiting in the car for me, but here goes.

Love y'all,

Answer my thoughts

Using Annikin Issue and Egypt Cards

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The Root Cause  

Past Issues

22 Was - Temporal Power
This hieroglyph is the Was scepter. This scepter or walking stick was used to show the power of a god, and of pharaoh as a god. It has a forked bottom and is topped with an unknown animal head that resembles the beast of Set. To hold such a scepter gave one power over chaos, the domain of Set. The forked bottom is similar to the Native American beauty way which counsels the seeker to walk in balance, knowing there are two sides to every path. The Was cautions you to check your balance. Are you taking care of your physical body and balancing your emotions? Are you clearing your mind and opening it to spiritual enlightenment? To hold this scepter, you will need to balance all levels of your being.

The Focal Point

The Issue Now

1 Shu – Air
Shu is the god of the air. Shu's symbol is a feather, a tool which can show us otherwise invisible movements in the currents of the air that we all breathe. Shu is here to ask you if you are aware of the small envelope he has created for all humans to live in? Without this precious home, we could not exist here. So he shows us that something which is unseen is the very basis of life itself on Earth. Not only should we all be thankful, but realize we must share this with all other breathing creatures and the plant kingdom.   He asks us to observe our breath and be thankful for the gift of life. Are you taking the time to share this gift with others? 

The Future 

How it can be resolved

35 Int - Pilot Fish
The Int is a tilapia fish. In the mythology of Ancient Egypt, the Int is a pilot fish that swims before the barque of the sun at night on its perilous journey toward the safety of the dawn and another day. The Int asks you to look down, into places and people you might not usually notice, for a message. Specifically, look down, like you would for a fish in the water. Is there someone you don't know well that might have information you need to be more successful in life? Is there a life form, such as a snail, that has a useful teaching for you? Could a stranger who looks like a homeless person have a spiritual message for you that is important for you to hear? If you are wrestling with an issue and are going round and round with it, perhaps you need to look in other places for inspiration!