Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Here is the trio I pulled this morning from my charming and diminutive 'Tarot of White Cats' (mini)! Oh, how I love all things mini! Well, not all, but I love mini tarot decks. I admit it. Sometimes I really like using them better than full-sized decks. This one, I feel, is all the more charming small.
I actually very specifically asked about our money situation when choosing these three cards, and lo! I got all pentacles. Very appropriate. So what's my take on this reading? I haven't even though about it yet, so let's see. The first card I pulled was the Ace of Pentacles, and I wanted to stop there because I thought, 'Ooooo...money, money, money!' But then I decided I'd rather have more info so I flanked both sides with a card.
On the left we have the financially secure King of Pentacles. Usually the King of Pentacles represents my daughter's integrative doctor, but in this case I am not so sure. We aren't going to see him for a while--perhaps not even until early next year. And since I asked about money, I wonder that he represents something more literal involving money.
The other thing the King of Pentacles makes me think of is my (now deceased) grandpa. Why is this important? Two reasons: one is that his birthday happened recently (August 24th) and secondly because my grandpa in his infinite financial wisdom (he's a Virgo who worked all his life and made a considerable amount of money---millions---in the oil industry and also with stocks) has managed to help his many children and grandchildren (six children and 25 grandchildren) as well as in-laws.
Every year at Christmas time we all get some money from this fund that helps us in the coming year. It's a tremendous boon. Does it offset all the costs of my daughter's biomedical care and every other expense? No, not necessarily but it makes a big difference. My point is that my grandfather's legacy is providing financial support to all of us. Even now, in death, he's given us a gift of financial security, even during the lean times. By saving money and investing wisely he has provided for all of us for many years to come.
On the right side of the Ace of Pentacles we have the 2 of Pentacles. This implies a juggling of resources or responsibilities. It seems to imply that managing these resources may be tricky at times but that it's doable and you're capable of it. I'll end with a quote from Biddy Tarot regarding the 2 of Pentacles:
Love and Prosperity,
Life will always be uncertain, yet if you can produce balance and harmony among all the demands upon you, you will ultimately live happily and in prosperity.
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
I was recently playing with Submerina's lovely Tarot Fauxbergé. I hadn't used it for a while and wanted to enjoy its sparkly goodness. I did get some very excellent readings with it. I took several photos of various readings I did but I'm not feeling ambitious enough to post them all. Nevertheless, I thought I'd post this single card draw with its gleaming, glittery swords stabbing me in the chest and torso. It was calling to me...
As I was using the Tarot Fauxbergé I kept getting the 10 of Swords over and over. It's like it was telling me: "IT'S OVER! It's DONE! Now stand up and pull those swords out!" Am I being melodramatic? Probably! That's likely one of the main reasons why I kept getting this over and over again.
Using this deck (again thanks to Submerina for creating it and hosting the giveaway) sends me back to two years ago. That's when the giveaway was. Wow. Could it really be two years have already passed? What have I done in those two years? Well, I could be rude to myself and say I haven't accomplished much of anything, but that wouldn't be very sporting of me.
I could say something like, 'I attended steadfastly to my daughter's health and wellbeing and as a result she's been seizure-free for more than 2.5 years, and also now 100% medication free!' Did I create much artwork? No...it's got to be some kind of record for me. Besides the house stuff I've avoided painting and drawing and the like. But I've found other ways to create. But, honestly...there is nothing more important to me than my daughter, and years from now I will hopefully recognize this time in my life as vitally important for nurturing my daughter and learning the hardest but most meaningful lessons of motherhood.
There's something about the appearance of this card that reminds me that times are changing. Though it sometimes happens slowly, before you know it a long-standing situation changes and you're not where you were before. You're not in Kansas anymore! We have to accept and expect change. Not in a complacent way but in a way that says, 'Ok, even if I do NOTHING, something is bound to change---so what will it be?'
I want to approach my life with more curiosity and more enjoyment, and less brooding and fear. I want to take those swords out and clean my wounds. I'm not bound and gagged--I've chosen to stay here for the benefit of my daughter, but also for other reasons which I may not fully understand until later on.
Here's a trio I got just recently. Happy, isn't it?
I don't have an exact, specific message for what this means, but I had a sense that it might be (at least in part) about my daughter, and possibly her schooling situation.
We've filed our intent to homeschool with the local district--just need to return materials to the cyber program that didn't work out. I've done a few lessons here and there so far. We haven't officially started yet, really, I am just gathering information: lesson ideas, on-line resources, materials, etc.
I'm pleased that my daughter is making some modest progress in her learning to read. I know it'll happen. She tends to do things slowly (Taurus) but she DOES get things once she learns them. Sometimes I lose patience for her (Aries) but I'm working on being more compassionate toward her particularly style and abilities.
What I haven't made much progress on is my own interests. For now they are taking the back burner again because I feel I need to focus most of my energy on coming up with a decent homeschooling plan, but I suppose I can do both. The main issue is that I really can't think of anything I want to personally pursue--or even if I have the energy for it.
Either way, this spread is very supportive and shows something really positive happening, something that is important to us as a family. I have received the 'Well' card when we got something important (like moving to a new house). The 'Bridge' card is quite similar to the 'Well' card in many ways. I'll take that extra dose of horseshoe luck, too!
My main obstacle today is trying to overcome this fatigue. Perhaps I'll give in to it momentarily and lay down for a few minutes--even if my daughter comes bugging me immediately. :)
I think it's funny how often people draw money cards and then disbelieve them. I can't say I blame them! Money can be an elusive thing. Sometimes it comes and it's just there...other times it isn't no matter what you do. You get money in and some major repair comes in and takes every cent away!
No matter. There ARE more important things in life than money. But we can also admit that life is easier when we don't have to struggle to get from paycheck to paycheck. I definitely think there's this push-pull energy humans have with money. We know that having the wrong attitude about it can corrupt and spoil us, but we also know that money in and of itself has no power except the power we give it.
I've gotten a few readings recently which indicated that unexpected money was coming in. I'm not putting a ton of stock into it either way. I realize the Ace of Pentacles can mean any new physical reality--money, health, anything on the material plane, but it confirmed a few other readings which did specifically mention money, so we'll see.
Monday, August 27, 2012
This is a terrible photo I took last night which I tried to turn artsy in Be Funky. Hrm. Anyway!
I did several readings with the Legacy of the Divine Tarot yesterday evening and I got many repeat cards and similar themes, but I won't post them all or even more than this one at this time because it would be incredibly dull for all concerned, including me.
Here's what I see in these cards:
In the top row we have several people: my mom, me, my husband, and then there's the Empress, which I see as the nurturing/parenting role that all three of us take toward my daughter. I don't know. I could be wrong about that. Just a thought.
In the second row we have the Hanged Man, 4 of Swords, 10 of Coins and King of Coins. I saw the Hanged Man as a 'wait and see' card, but also as possible sacrifice. There are many aspects of my daughter's health and life that are up in the air, but also there's the element of sacrificing aspects of myself and my life to take care of her.
The 4 of Swords combined with the Hanged Man gives me the sense of, 'give it a rest!' since this card represents taking a break, a lull in activity, or literal sleep. My daughter's sleep has been interrupted a bit again (waking early, etc) and that always worries me because I wonder what it means--what is going on to wake her up, and to make sure it's nothing serious. But at the same time I wonder that I should just see it more as taking it easy in terms of not being too crazily interactive with her care, at least to the largest extent that I can relax.
The 10 of Coins shows the idea of generations, family support, but also financial support. I'm not entirely sure how this card will play out but I definitely see it as family support or literal financial support. Perhaps this goes with the previous reading mentioning receiving money. I'm not sure.
The final card is the King of Pentacles. I've designated this card to mean my daughter's ND. We need to meet up with him to discuss aspects of my daughter's care. We're gearing up for a second round of B-12 injections. I've already been giving them to her for about a month now, after a break when things were not going well. We still note some moodiness and side-effects, but also a slew of improvements. So we're sticking it out and doing another round to see if things continue to improve.
I would like to meet up with him to ask him some questions, but financially we aren't really able to do so now. We may not even be able to do so until early next year, although the presence of his card shows otherwise--it indicates that we'll be consulting with him sooner rather than later.
My daughter is downstairs playing rather loudly--she's growling and acting out some very aggressive thing. I definitely think she gets out her frustrations that way. With all these side effects from her treatment (or the deficiencies/issues themselves) it's no wonder she's frustrated and moody. I try to remember that when I get really burnt out or frustrated with her.
I don't understand but I can suddenly post photos again. Why? I have no idea. I didn't delete any.
Well, I won't complain.
Here's a draw I did recently and I wanted to share it because it's so pretty visually (and otherwise!)
I loved the 'Clouds' plus 'Rainbow' combination. It shows the transition from problems to solution in one easy step. Now, I doubt it's that easy, but you never know? What comes to mind is that while clouds may take over metaphorically in our lives, we may not notice just how transitory they are. They may seem at times like they're there permanently, with no chance of joy, color and sunshine.
I am not entirely sure what 'Heart' means, but who cares? For once it didn't feel like heart health issues. It felt more lovey-dovey. Perhaps it simply shows affection between family members or my husband and myself. Perhaps it shows the love of someone who gives me money. Ok, so I'm not so sure about that last part, but it's just idle speculation.
I love the 'Coins' card, but I admit I'm a little surprised to see it. I'm not expecting any money whatsoever, and there isn't another pay check for a couple of weeks yet.
Sunday, August 26, 2012
Do not limit yourself - remain versatile and adaptable. Play out every role - act swiftly and spontaneously - change from moment to moment while retaining your inner sense of self.
(To see the whole thing, visit here.)
Saturday, August 25, 2012
It appears I am out of space again on Blogger again--this time for reals, perhaps.
For now I will post text. I don't know what else to do. I may cave in and pay the few dollars a month for the space--though I've been trying to save money!
Anyway. Here are a few 'cards' I pulled via Crystal Clear Reflections. I highlighted the parts I found helpful or good for summary. The topic is my daughter's home schooling and how best to proceed. I received Temperance and Page of Pentacles. You can read the whole thing or just the highlighted parts. It's kinda long so I deeply apologize. Hehe!
I just found some of these phrases and ideas thought-provoking:
Page of Pentacles - Mastery of creative power - the ability to enjoy studying. The persevering scholar, the pioneer spirit and the passion to create and give birth to new form or restructure old form. The ability to approach any activity with the quality of fascination and involvement - caring less for the rewards or social position than for the work itself. Experience your own inner child's playfulness. Do what you loved to do as a child and you will find your genius, your passion and your success. Take the pressure off yourself - enjoy your journey. Do your best and enjoy the "process". You will be receiving good news - a message that will change many things. There will be a meeting with someone who is kind, generous and sympathetic to your point of view who will create changes for the better through their caring ways.
Predictable, physically resourceful, physical means of discovery, good instincts. Communication with earth spirits. Ruled by the drive for transformation. Physically playful and active. Playground of possibility. Physical innocence, purity. Appropriate naivete in others. Transformation side of things physical - new physical opportunities, situations, events and guides. Drive and the forces of change are instinctive, passive as is the growth of a child is automatic. Wonder at physical things - eagerness, enthusiasm, amusement, physical renewal...physical news. Will and desire which are subtle compared to an adults.
Questions to Answers: What new information are you gathering? What new possibilities do you contain within yourself? Who is bringing you financial information? Are you listening to the earth?
Temperance - It is time for you to apply what you have learned - see what you have mastered - you are an artist in all phases of your life. Try new things now, while at the same time - maintaining a solid hold on your present security. Allow yourself to experience "profound" meditation - use your "inner" resources - for they are your invitation to the possibilities of spiritual knowledge and realization.
Your Higher Self will always warn, inform and help you appreciate an experience - while never suppressing temptation itself - for without temptation, there can be no spiritual progress. That is why it is so important for you to maintain balance right now. Trust that your patience will build your dreams. Focus all your energy on maintaining harmony between the material and the spiritual. Take it easy and don't rush things - do not give up your security - you need more time before making any major decisions.
You are experiencing your ability to heal yourself by correcting the imbalances and reconciling the difficulties in the environment through compassion. Truth will be realized from within as you unite your human endeavor with the gift of Gods grace. Your lessons are learned through your experiences. Balance is essential now - use diplomacy, tact and temper your emotions when your strength is being tested. As you give birth to new beliefs from the death of old ones - you experience new freedoms which require re-adjustments in your behavior. With freedom comes the responsibility for your actions and the birth of "natural guilt" - the creative mechanism for solving problems and preventing violence. You learn to resolve your dilemmas and assimilate your beliefs by seeing mistakes as information and problems as challenges. A balance of rights is achieved through your compassionate identification with others and the communication of your emotions and aggressive feelings.
Vision and inspiration are the means of arriving at intuition. Authentic inspiration always entails an "inner" upheaval which pierces the soul like an arrow - wounding it and making it experience "profound" emotion which is the synthesis of joy and sorrow. Inspiration is the knowledge of how to be active and passive at the same time. Active - in what concerns your "question" and passive - in what concerns the "answer". Humility alone - honoring the vows of poverty, obedience and love renders you open to "inspiration". Say to yourself that you know nothing - but are capable of knowing everything and in this position of humility -immerse yourself in the pure, strengthening element of "thinking together" or inspiration.
Free yourself from this artificial personality - your behavior and reactions have become a string of habits. Begin to combine your spontaneity with knowledge, moderation and self control. You need never go to extremes - begin to develop a true and proper response to all situations "as they arise". Separation develops from your inability to take life as it comes - moment by moment - combining the elements of your personality, so that they work in harmony with the outer world and flow together naturally. You withdrew from the world to find your "inner" Self. The time has come for you to return to the normal activities of life and involvement with the outer world. The energy of your unconscious, which was once displayed as the "sexuality" of your undeveloped personality - has been transformed and channeled through your awareness to become spirituality. Your "strength" has become energy and the process will be complete once the two combine. Allow yourself to experience the death of your "old" patterns, for they do not reflect the truth and joy of life. You do not need to preform miracles to KNOW your connection with the universe - you need only be yourself. Become the master of your fate - learn correct action - doing the correct thing in whatever situation arises, dealing with life as it comes - not according to your old routines or habits of defense. Communicate the abundance of your feelings in compassionate and nurturing ways and this balanced blend of activities and feelings - once achieved, will produce the sense of harmony and peace that you seek.
Here is the fourteenth stop on your journey, where you begin to appreciate the lessons of the higher emotions. This is a mature emotional constitution, where consideration for self and others strive to balance. This is Stage Four and the effect of higher mind on the Emotional Plane guides us to thoughtful behavior. Recognition and practice of both give and take in equal proportion, even as the opening of the heart chakra has elevated the emotions to the higher level wherein compassion transforms us into willing givers moving happily toward universal love. Temperance is the exercise of emotional balance horizontally in the earth plane, to generate movement vertically from below to above. Here is authentic expression and a higher understanding of your passionate nature, which must grow even as you become more compassionate.
Questions to Answer: What are you feeling optimistic about? How are you combining the resources available to you? What are you testing or trying out? What needs to be healed or brought into balance?
Friday, August 24, 2012
For those who are far-sighted or otherwise hate small print:
Younger Woman: Dealings or relationship with a younger woman.
Eagle: Triumph over troubles, obstacles.
Mountain Road: You are on the road to success.
Jug: Lighthearted, carefree time.Vine: You must seek out information that will help you.
I apologize for using this deck so much--I just got into a groove with it. But I will try to throw in some new ones in coming months. :) Anyway. I decided to do a somewhat more specific reading about September. The other one I did is still relevant but this pull here signifies the more specific topic of my daughter's education.
I was pleased that the 'Younger Woman' card came up. Even though my daughter is not a woman at all, this card still has that 'young girl' kinda feel. In any case, she's a 'less mature' female. It felt like a confirmation since this deck is not replete with child cards.
The other cards gave me info: 'Mountain Road' shows a path that is not always easy and that you have to follow rather closely lest you plummet down below. If you follow it, however, you will emerge triumphant. I got this card when house hunting. It was not an easy process and there were some disappointments, but we ultimately got a better house in a better neighborhood than we thought we would. This makes sense to come up for the home schooling issue.
We're a secular (or mostly secular, or at least non-traditional) family hoping to homeschool our daughter without losing our minds. We found out the program we were trying to use (that caused us so much frustration and gave so much busy work) actually tacks 300 more hours into the typical homeschooling program for 1st graders! 300 hours extra! Jeez. No wonder everywhere I read people were reviewing the program and saying it was an incredibly big work load that was very hard to keep up with.
Now, even though I don't relish the idea, I need to come up with some alternate plans. I need to research what key subjects and areas I want to work on (language arts, math, science) and then work on that. There's the obvious things like her learning to read and basic math among other concepts (won't list all of them here because it would be pointless). I have to make sure she passes the assessments she is given at various grades. But I don't want this to be a miserable, joyless experience. So I was glad to see the 'Jug' card, showing the necessity of enjoyment in the process.
The 'Vine' card shows me that I need to see out information that will help me. That is true on many levels. I need to file my intent to homeschool form(s). We need to return materials from the program we used that didn't suit us. We need to come up with a reasonable and not overly stressful homeschooling program, tailored to our daughter. We need to enlist help from my dad who has been an educator for more than thirty years in figuring out what to focus on in her education.
Finally, we have the Eagle card, which I really like. It shows triumph over obstacles. I think I received this card when removing my daughter's medications entirely (after her being on an extremely low dose for several months). We're now more than three months into her being 100% medication free, with no sign of any problem. Last month marked 2.5 years seizure-free.
Anyway...we are going to try to take this whole process reasonably slowly. I am full of gratitude and hope that my daughter will be alright after all and we won't be constantly living in fear for her. I want to infuse her life with creativity, fun and forward-thinking.
Thursday, August 23, 2012
...I REALLY don't like how this cyber school thing is going. Neither does my husband. There is a ton of busy work and it's exhausting for all of us. The more I learn about this program, the more I dislike it. I don't know what to do now though, because it's REQUIRED to log a certain number of hours and learn certain things by the end of this grade.
Today was particularly bad because my daughter outright refused to finish her lesson. She scrawled on the page and said she didn't want to do school every day. I can't say I blame her, but anyway. I couldn't get her to finish ONE lesson today. Yesterday, after some struggle, she finished the lessons, but by the end of it we were all exhausted. Oye.
So my task now is to decide: do I stay the course, suffer through it and see if it's worth it? Or do I figure out another plan of attack, log my own hours, submit my own curriculum to the local school system (required by law)? I decided to pull a few cards on the topic, so here goes nothing.
The cards I received were Angel, Bridge and Bag. This seems like a very positive outcome, anyway. As far as what to do there is not much indication, but it shows that an option will come to the fore that will hopefully help us overcome the problem.
My dad has been an educator (a teacher, a grant writer, working with title, and on and on) for more than thirty years and I may get his input on this. I don't really know what to do at this point.
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
I know I said I wasn't going to post but I felt like it. Perhaps I need a distraction from all this school work. Did I mention I feel like I'm going to school more than my daughter is? Hehe.
I probably won't post much until the end of next week when September starts, but I thought I'd go ahead and post this. I pulled three cards on this topic earlier and the reading was helpful then, too, but I decided to go ahead and use these. The meaning is similar to the other reading I did and I accidentally put the cards back in without photographing them.
This trio also reminds me of what I said to Chloë in e-mail a bit ago: I feel like I made the right decision in choosing cyber school. Even though it's accredited and much of what you see is what you might see in a typical classroom, it allows the child to (mostly) go at their own pace. You can focus on one subject a day (if you feel like having a 'science' focus one day or an 'art' focus on another) and you can decide when you do things.
Today was the first real day that I worked on more than one assignment with my daughter. As I've mentioned to a few of you, and maybe even on this blog, I've spent a few years researching schooling options. There is merit to many of them, and I'm a fan of non-traditional methods, especially ones that utilize child-led learning, but at the same time my instinct was telling me that my daughter needed more guidance than a child-led experience. Let's just say she has a lot of Taurus and she is not very self-motivated in a lot of ways. She is very stubborn! That, among other reasons, sent me along this path. There is no perfect option or perfect world, and this schooling experience reflects that.
Even so, I think they did a good job with this program and I like that it's fairly customizable in terms of what you do every day. You do have to follow a program, but honestly when it comes to me and my daughter, I think that is helpful. I have spent the past year trying to come up with a plan, purchasing some basic schooling books and pre-reading and reading tutorial books, hoping to interest my daughter, but the fact is I think it was just too vague for both of us. I actually like it when things are specific. It's funny to say that here on this blog because I feel that I often specialize in the vague and unknowable: art, tarot and other creative pursuit.
Anyway...back to what I was originally saying. I think that I know that I'm on the right track because I feel calm yet somewhat challenged. There's a definite adjustment period and learning curve, but I feel like this structure is beneficial for us. That said, I do feel very tired today. I am not used to this, and there are a number of things I need to get a better understanding of (mainly setting up the various classes for the day, etc) that will be revealed to me as I get more practice.
Anyyyywayyyy. Oy. I am not sure what else to say. I did a few lessons today and my husband will do the remaining two when he gets home. I'm glad, at least, that I have a bit of help with this, even if I get the bulk of things.
The cards Butterfly, Camel and Arrow have a kind of slow but determined positive trajectory to them.
Love and Progress,
Saturday, August 18, 2012
For a few months now I've been struggling to blog. I haven't felt like it. Even photographing cards or anything else and writing about them, or even using on-line oracles and then directly pasting the info has been oddly tiring for me.
I think rather than fight it I am going to just take a break so I can come back refreshed. I hope that once I get into the swing of things this fall with the cyber schooling and with whatever else is going on, I'll feel the pull to come back and blog.
You can always e-mail me if you need to:
MagicMentha (at) gmail.com
Friday, August 17, 2012
Anyway. When I pulled these cards last night I had the distinct feeling that someone I knew would end up being knocked up. I mean you have the STORK and the CRIB cards together. I just got the distinct impression I'd be hearing about someone getting pregnant. Now I guess this remains to be seen.
That said, I also know a couple of people either going through fertility treatments or an adoption process, so it's possible it refers to that, but this gave me the sense of more of a traditional 'knocked up' kinda thing. I could be very wrong, though. Let's not kid ourselves, here.
The two women on the bottom row with the hair adornments confused me. I felt like I was supposed to be getting something from that visual but I haven't put my finger on it. I also feel that this reading may be about more than one topic, but the surprise pregnancy is definitely in the middle of everything.
Obviously if something does come to pass along these lines, I will try very hard to remember to update this post. We'll see!
See y'all on Monday,
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Here are September and October's forecasts, respectively. Boy, oh boy. There's nothing too scary in these, but yet I feel nervous. I have to do my daughter's full-time cyber school/homeschool thing and I'm nervous and not sure I'm cut out for this. My daughter is not what you'd call cooperative most of the time and I'm worried that I'm just in over my head. To highlight this, I had a dream last night where I was in a house and the whole thing got shoved into the ocean and I had to find a way out before it filled up with water but I never really did. Somehow (I guess?) I survived but it was just overwhelming.
I haven't posted much and I haven't commented much, once again, so I apologize. I admit I haven't felt much like doing anything, much less the homeschooling thing, but right now I feel it's my best option. As I might've mentioned before, I got a reading from one of my favorite tarot readers back in March saying that I should enjoy the 'downtime' I have over the next several months because things would start getting crazier. I have a feeling I'm heading in that direction. At least for me. I realize that there are people who work 2 jobs or even 3, and so on, but there's something so especially tiring about being a full-time stay-at-home mom, and then add homeschooling to that...and a daughter with health and behavioral issues. I know. I only have one kid. But sometimes I don't feel like I can deal with her.
Anyway. Enough ranting. As I gaze over the next two months I think, 'Well, they don't look THAT bad.' I feel that June and July were more difficult in a lot of ways.
(Pause for my daughter to grump at me and whine about putting her socks and shoes on...jeez, how am I going to get her to do school for several hours a day when she whines about that??!)
September is interesting. I wonder what this new job refers to. It could be the homeschooling, but that starts this month (next week)...so what else could it be? I don't know what else I would or could do. Anyway. I won't worry about what it could mean. Opportunities waiting for me+new job makes me think of something specifically career-oriented, but again I don't see how. Quill makes me think of schooling, as it reminds me of an old-fashioned pen that you dip in ink which is very 'Little Old Schoolhouse' or something. Financial pinch...yeah, that is a continuation. Well, no matter! These cards can come about in very intriguing ways, so I will try not to over think it.
October has the scales, which is somewhat astrologically appropriate, as my Libra husband will have his 40th birthday in early October, which I will be planning for...an over-the-hill party at his request! ;) The Candle, Casket and Ring almost have a macabre feel to them. But I DO love Halloween season. I wonder who might be getting married, and who might be dying? Ok, that's a literal translation of this, but those cards have been more literal than not for me in the past.
Love to ya'll and a happy fall,
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Hope everyone is well out there.
I can't find the charger to my camera, so I can't take any photos of my cards.
And my daughter seems especially grumpy today.
I guess I will take that as a sign to get off the computer.
I'll see you back here next week!
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Here's a pull I did recently. To me this reading has a sense of anticipation, almost anxiousness.
The combination of Lion, Bird-Perched and Door really brings this home. I think the other cards give more information as to what it could be about. Though Torch is a bit vague it shows some sort of personal growth. Well relates to family matters and something positive for the family coming true, while Yoke makes this reading more grounded and realistic by showing that responsibilities and hang-ups exist. I can't be sure if this refers to a future issue or a current one.
I feel this relates to my life in general: my decision to re-ignite my creativity, our continuing quest to better my daughter's health (thankfully with a decent amount of success) and a general trend toward more growth and movement in our lives.
It's interesting because I received a tarot reading from a woman I like and respect a lot who lives here locally back in March. She indicated that things would be rather quiet for the next few months but then things would pick up considerably and I'd be quite busy--somewhat hoping that things weren't as busy. Errk. I had no idea what she could mean at the time, but now that I think of it, it coincides with me teaching my daughter at home, as well as my recent decision to work on creative pursuits again.
I'm starting to wonder if I will end up biting off more than I can chew, but I do know that I have not challenged myself nearly enough lately, and I mean that in a positive way. I feel that I need to periodically stretch myself creatively and not feel so cramped and tied down. That's another possible interpretation of 'Yoke'. I've felt very restricted in recent years, especially since my daughter's birth.
Even though I will still be spending quite a bit of time with my daughter and actually my duties will increase with her home/cyber-schooling, I still feel that seeing her progress and mature shows that I am ready to re-engage with myself and my own pursuits. I'm just wondering how much of both I will want to manage.
Monday, August 6, 2012
As y'all may or may not know, I've spent a good amount of time over the past couple of years trying to determine whether or not I want to do a creative project. I keep thinking I should be doing something but it always seems just out of reach or wrong somehow. Recently, during this current (though ending) retrograde, I've been pondering resurrecting an old project (my hand-painted jewelry business) but in a different way.
During the two-ish year run of doing the hand-painted jewelry I struggled mightily with many things: price of my pieces, content of my pieces, getting the word out via marketing, etc. I also made a TON of pieces (more than 300) and burnt myself out. I really think this (along with my daughter's health issues coinciding with the biz itself) went a long way to keeping me away from the creative sector, with the exception of the painting of things in my house.
So what is my plan? Well, I'm going to go at this very slowly and carefully. First of all, I'll purchase the domain name again, ASAP, as it's still available. Then I will very thoroughly consider what I want to offer and also (my husband's idea) drastically change my expectations of what I want from this. I know that last time I had ridiculous expectations (both wanting too much and also being incredibly cranky and impatient about it), and also a low opinion of my work, which is a bad combination. I also held way too many giveaways and things.
But more than that, I think I want to shift this from 'hey, here's a product--I can make you anything, at any amount, at any time, for $19.95!' But seriously--that was my attitude. I wanted to charge the lowest price and get the pieces done as quickly as possible. In contrast, I feel that the correct approach is for me to create far fewer pieces which take more time, and charge more for them, offering less.
Whereas last time I'd make 10-20 pieces at a sitting every few weeks and try to sell them at as low a price as possible, I would probably make only 3-4 with great attention to detail and more expensive materials, and then list them for more, and not worry about whether they sell. I definitely want to do away with the Ebay attitude toward selling my stuff. I've always been like, 'How low can I go? How cheaply can I offer my services?' There was a definite, strong hit of desperation along with this that I'd like to get rid of. I'm not desperate. I'm just making art and if you like it you can buy it--I'm not going to shove it down your throat. I'm not going to beg you! I have to get out of that mindset. I'd far rather attract zero attention than get on my hands and knees groveling for validation. I really feel that's the foundation of where I was last time with this business.
Because I am a stay-at-home mom I have the 'luxury' of doing this without worrying about money. Of course I SAY that but we are rather tight financially. However, if I did this I would not be doing it to make gobs of money. I firmly believe that I need to approach this from a gentler, slower, more practical approach, and not whore myself out trying to get people excited about my product.
Again, I am grateful that I don't have to feed my family on my income--otherwise I'm sure we'd all be dead by now. But seriously. I know I have an important role to play: I take care of our daughter full time who has health, behavior and sensory issues that, thanks to our efforts, is improving greatly and has been seizure-free for a long time.
Anyway...I definitely went on about that for a while. But my point is--I don't have to coerce anyone to do anything. The only person I seem to have to cajole is myself--to do things I've been putting off/avoiding or just doing half-assedly.
The cards look pretty good, anyway. The Tower card is sort of like the Tower in tarot, except that it's what happens if you are careful and build a solid foundation. Solid foundations are build gradually, not with haste. I realized something this weekend when I stopped hiking with my husband and daughter: I give up way too easily, sometimes right before things get good, because I am afraid of rejection, or afraid of some other mysterious, painful thing. 'Bowl' and 'Basket' show some sort of bounty, some kind of pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Even if it's only metaphorical--I'll take it!
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Here are some cards I pulled today.
I pulled several other interesting readings but I just decided to do one larger reading rather than several smaller readings. This may prove to be a mistake because it's sometimes harder to read larger readings. Shorter readings can be more to the point, but then again larger readings can provide more detail.
The (main) topic of this pull is our decision to sign our daughter up for online (cyber) school. There are several accredited online schools where you have your child follow their curriculum and (eventually) test through them as well. Believe me, I have my qualms with this plan and already I'm nervous about the paperwork, training, assessments and whatever else is required. It's giving me a minor heart attack.
I'm not even sure if I can GET my daughter to do all that work---whether it's in a classroom or at home in a cyber school. But at least in a home setting (which is likely temporary) she'll be able to do it at a more reasonable pace without a lot of chaos and distractions. With her still-considerable sensory, mood and other issues, plus her special diet, supplements and other things-we feel this is the right thing to do. I don't feel comfortable mainstreaming her into a public school at this time.
In fact, I really don't have a high opinion of most public school systems. Chalk it up to very bad personal experiences (I had similar sensory issues as my daughter has when I was a kid and I found school extremely stressful and overstimulating--plus I was bullied) and my dad's long experiences as an educator in the schools (let's just say you see the negative underbelly that way)...I feel like I am always on the lookout for alternatives. If we can afford it, I hope to transition her into an alternative school (such as a Waldorf or other non-traditional school that focuses more on individual learning) in the future, even if we have to pay for it.
Anyway. On to the cards. This is an interesting combination of cards. I'm not overly fond of the 'Feather' and 'Shark' cards...who would be? But the other cards don't look too bad. The other readings I did on this topic were similar: some good cards, some less good cards. As you might expect, it's an imperfect experience with some difficulties and some plusses. I just hope it works out OK. I feel it's a short term, transitional solution and my expectations of it are limited to that.
p.s. Be back Monday. I am going to take some time to work on some things off the internet that are pulling my attention away...