Friday, July 5, 2013

Daydream or Demon Exorcism?


I pulled this card as a way of focusing away from my anxiety. This card is supposed to highlight imagination and daydreaming as a way of indirectly finding out your heart's desires and also allowing you to relax. I find myself having severe social phobia the likes of which I haven't had for quite a while. I know it's because of my daughter's upcoming school entry at the end of next month. The idea of interacting with a group of people or institution of any sort sounds repellent to me and puts my fight or flight mode into high gear. I am trying not to allow myself to go there. I guess this is one possible antidote to that fear, although I don't know if it'll be effective enough...I feel pretty tense.


Take a moment to allow your focus to soften. Let the images, sounds, feelings and smells flow to you.

I've noticed that when I try to relax the feelings that surface are generally NOT pleasant, which makes me resistant to relaxing. I know that whatever feelings I have need to be expressed, but I have to say that my innate hedonism doesn't particularly want to go there. For me, this exercise feels like a massive hangover of pent-up negative feelings and fears...ewwww.

Love,
MM

4 comments:

  1. Hi MM,

    Maybe you could be more directive with your imagination. Visualise meeting with a group of people, like other parents for example, and everything going smoothly. Picture meeting someone that you enjoy talking to, having an interesting conversation. Might help make it easier when you're actually in that position...

    Sending you relaxing vibes,
    Chloƫ
    xoxo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes...I think those are much better ways to focus on the matter at hand. I know my anxiety gets the better of me, and I feel trapped, like I am forced by gun point to do whatever anyone wants me to--usually things I don't want to do. I realize I can't get out of everything I want to escape but hopefully I don't feel too dis-empowered. Thanks for the pep talk!

      XOXO,
      MM

      Delete
  2. I have a difficult time relaxing too. When I concentrate on my breathing I sometimes get a little panicky and hyperventilate. Maybe I need to learn better breathing technique or something. I have a history of feeling panic around my breath. I can remember times as a little girl when I was afraid I couldn't breathe and I'd hyperventilate trying to get more air. At 19 I even went to the ER because I was afraid I couldn't breathe. I didn't know about panic attacks and stuff like that then. I've actually gotten very good at managing all of that. Or at least, I'm doing a good job of managing it now. I know that sometimes stuff comes up or maybe my brain chemistry gets a little out of whack for one reason or another and suddenly I'm not dealing so well anymore. Anyway, I'm grateful that I'm managing well right now. It's a sign of progress for me.

    I guess it was my turn to ramble. Sending you peaceful relaxing thoughts!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, absolutely. I had the same experience and also went to the ER! It was during a particularly bad time when my daughter's health problems were still lingering and I was exhausted and miserable. I could not take a deep breath in for hours and finally I went in. Turns out I was fine. Expensive lesson but I was not fine emotionally, which is still very important. I used to get anxiety attacks all the time as a teenager, especially, but they have waned over the years, though my anxiety is not gone.

      I'm glad you've gotten good at managing it! I think sometimes it's good to let loose and feel off-kilter in a kind of controlled way--let loose but without losing yourself completely. We all need a release!!

      Thanks for the good wishes--sending some to you, too!

      Hugs,
      MM

      Delete