Monday, September 30, 2013
I wanted to do a blog anniversary giveaway but funds are a bit tight at the moment. Knowing that, I decided to give away a reading. I've decided to let the recipient choose from a video reading using an unlisted URL linking to a YouTube video, a cartoon caption reading, or a standard, traditional e-mail reading using any deck from the 45 plus on my list--which I will send to the winner to choose from.
To enter, simply comment below mentioning what your favorite Halloween/Samhain was and why. If you don't celebrate Halloween then write down what most loved October activity.
Using Random.org, I will choose a winner on October 30th and announce it here on the blog.
Saturday, September 28, 2013
Here's another draw I did earlier today. Again I just pulled cards about finances/work. They seemed to reflect what I was thinking, with the 3 of Pentacles (work/projects) card in the center. This card is flanked on either side by the Page of Cups and Judgement. This made me think about making a judgement/decision about a creative project or venture. The Page of Cups is a kind of fledgling idea or offer. I have read on some sites, such as on Biddy Tarot, that the Page of Cups is a new project or venture:
The Page of Cups signifies the beginning of a creative project or venture. It is an indication that there is creative energy trying to burst forth into your consciousness. Explore this newfound creativity through art, drama, dance, etc.
What springs to mind is that I made a solid decision to teach a class or host a workshop or start an art project. I have definitely been feeling it stirring in me...but I have been hesitating for some reason. I have no idea what I am waiting for. There is no ideal time. Now would be a perfectly good time to do so--I think I have been putting everything on hold until 'things settle' or 'I feel like it's time to make a decision'...but that time really never comes. It is a finish line that keeps moving forward, and you never catch up because you never start the race. I am laughing internally because that analogy makes ZERO sense. Don't think too hard about it. Just trust me on this one.
So yes. Page of Cups=creative project. 3 of Pentacles=work or a venture of some sort. Judgement=hearing a call, making a judgement. Queen of Wands=me. It seemed clear to me, but it may not make sense to anyone else.
It seems I'm in the blogging mood today!
So, I pulled four cards from the Tattered Nomad Lenormand. I didn't actually have a topic this time. I wanted to see what came up. This one is a bit more varied than the previous pulls which all seemed to highlight work/career/venture stuff. Even so, the Fox card came up again and pointed me once again to career considerations.
Using Learn Lenormand once again I decided to play off some of their pairings:
Garden + ship (3): cruise ship, party on a ship, tour group
Ship + garden (20): traveling to an event, foreign country, international trip
Ship + house (4): trip back home, boat house, emigration/immigration
House + fox (14): home robbery, domestic employee, be careful buying a house
House + ship (3): changing residence, a journey home
Fox + ship (3): job-related travel, problems with a trip
Fox + garden (20): working with the public, job meeting, public fraud
Garden + fox (14): co-workers, problems with a meeting
Garden + house (4): party at home, house with a garden, visitors to a house
House + garden (20): house with a garden, large family, hotel, public house
O.K. Whew! That's a lot of associations. I decided to mix them up to see what sparked my imagination. I still find my first impressions to be more valuable than descriptions anyone else comes up with, but I have to admit these Lenormand pairings are helpful.
While typing this post, I thought first of a fall festival through my daughter's school that will take place on an organic farm. This festival is a week from today--next weekend. My husband's birthday also came to mind. His birthday isn't until the 9th, which really isn't very far away, although the party thing is not totally accurate because he specifically requested something small--not a party but just an outing to a restaurant and some dessert at home.
The House and Fox together makes me think of a work from home strategy. That is the thing that has been coming to mind lately. It makes more sense for me to work from home than it does to only work for a few hours outside the home, where I would waste lots of effort just driving to and from my destination, which I already have to do when commuting to take my daughter to school in another town.
This could also refer to my husband's upcoming work trip in November, but that seems unlikely since it's a way off and is fairly inconsequential. Now I am seeing why I prefer two card pulls! So much easier to interpret. Three is OK, but I think two is my favorite. I feel like I ALMOST understand this reading but not quite. Something involving work, travel, the home...a get-together. I guess this could just explain October in general. Hahaa...oy.
I would like to report that I feel vastly better today than yesterday, but it's not really the case. I have a painful yet productive cough, congestion and headache, tiredness, etc. Hopefully at the very least I'll feel better by Monday. Anyyywayyy...on to the reading.
I decided to do two pairs of cards for a total of four. I thought I could pair these cards together and also read them as a whole. At a glance, I feel like these cards are referring to work decisions again. This time I feel it specifically mentions me since the woman card shows up. Or, it could show a woman as being instrumental in helping with work decisions. Either way.
The Ring card comes up, mentioning a partnership or commitment. I think this makes sense. I am in the process of trying to decide what ideas to pair up with--and what to commit my time to. I still have a fairly limited window of time in which to actually 'work' since I have to commute to bring my daughter to school and then to fetch her back. My husband can occasionally get my daughter on the months when he doesn't work late, but that's hard to count on, especially when his work is being flaky about when he has to come in. So, I have about four hours a day, really, from 10am-2pm, to do things away from my daughter. And that includes grocery shopping, cleaning/laundry, errands, the works. I have found that it doesn't seem like very much time. It is a little frustrating because it feels like being given a short leash with which to roam. But...I am grateful for the time I do have. It is far more time than I've had to myself in the eight years since my daughter has been born.
BUT...this short window of four hours is part of why I have found it difficult to decide how to commit my time. On top of wanting to do something to make money in a field of my choice, I also have been asked (along with the other school parents) to volunteer at the school and in my daughter's classroom. On the one hand, I want to help, but on the other hand...I really, really don't want to help. LOL! My daughter's teacher is a lovely person and the school is a really good cause and it obviously is important to my daughter, but yet I feel torn about it. As it is, I use up quite a bit of gas driving to another town several times a day in order for her to go to this school.
It isn't just the gas or cost (which is a consideration since we are broke and often a tank of gas is something I can't afford another of when we have to decide between gas and groceries), but also the feeling of commitment and whether I want to commit to helping out on a weekly basis or however often it is. For no money! I realize that volunteering is a beautiful and worthy thing--but I feel like I have to choose between volunteering and working on a project on my own. I don't feel like I really have time for both. And then there's the part where I don't really love working with groups of kids...
I hate it when I feel this way...being torn between possibilities. When I feel like I can't decide or just don't WANT to decide. I feel pressured from inside and out. When I look back to the cards I see the woman turned away from the ring of commitment. I see the fox under her, wanting to avoid a decision (Fox+Crossroads). The LearnLenormand.com site has this:
Fox + crossroad (22): smart decision, shrewd decision, decision about a job
I definitely think a smart decision is in order. What would serve me best? I don't want to be insanely selfish but I want to be selfish enough that I feel like I am being true to myself. I don't want to live my life in a way that just seems like a good idea because I don't feel guilty (i.e. the volunteering). I hate it when I am deciding between what is good for me and feels good and what is good for society and is helpful and chaste, etc. I wish they were the same thing!
Some of these other combinations make sense for my predicament, too:
Ring + snake (7): agreement with a woman, relationship with “another” woman, difficult contractThis points out the tricky feeling of deciding this. I was watching a video with that lady Teal Scott recently, about how to say no. She said the problem is that people tend to feel that they're deciding between what they want and would make them feel good and what they don't really want to do but they think would make them a good person. I know it isn't ALWAYS the case but I have found this to be true. Say I feel burnt out and don't want to go to a party--but I would feel horrible about saying no because it's the birthday of a family member or friend. Often I will say yes then feel tense and stressed after just because I did something when I didn't feel up to it. This happened recently and I got sick with this cold right after doing it because I had been stressed right before and I think this made me more susceptible to the illness. As a result, I got sick, my daughter got sick, and now my husband probably will too. We just got over a cold maybe a week and a half ago!
Anyway. I am a person who needs a lot of time away from society and to myself. I realize that now. I guess I should accept this. Or is there a happy medium? Can I help out only occasionally, and not regularly? Part of the discomfort is being honest with whoever I'm speaking to about this and trying to work things out without being offensive. Hehee.
There's this combination which also works with what I'm talking about:
Ring + fox (14): job offer, employment contract, dishonest agreement
It would be dishonest for me to say that I would just love to volunteer and yippy yay...but then enter into something I don't want, with resentment, and have it not be an open, true situation that is positive for all concerned. I don't want that! Yet I don't want to be completely self-interested. I don't know...so confusing. If you really want to get nefarious you can use this combination:
Fox + snake (7): liar, deception, danger
That is absolutely what I want to avoid! I value honesty greatly. Perhaps I should be honest with my daughter's teacher and tell her that I am afraid to commit to volunteering when I am not sure what I plan to do with my time in terms of work or personal pursuits. I think that I will consider doing just that this weekend or next week. I am still not quite sure how I want to approach this, but I want to be honest and considerate, whatever I decide.
Friday, September 27, 2013
I still feel like utter hell with this cold that has spanned the past week (ick), but I felt like posting anyway. I did several pairs of cards using the Tattered Nomad Oracle (Lenormand), and here is one of them. I was going to post all of the ones I did but the truth is I didn't photograph most of them. I will say that a surprising number of them seemed to be about work. Actually, I guess that isn't that surprising considering my husband and myself are both considering imminent work changes.
Another duo I got was Anchor and Stork, which also seemed to point to a new job. At least that was my take on it. Anyway...again I feel this refers to my husband as well as myself. Again using LearnLenormand.com we have these:
Stork + fox (14): job change, promotion, positive change (related to cunning/intrigue)
Fox + stork (17): job change, change due to intrigue
Ok, so I am not sure about the whole intrigue thing. We aren't looking to become spies, unless that's the only option. Heeheee! Maybe there is a sort of need for cunning in job searching. I think that is true to a large extent--we have to be creative to come up with solutions that suit our circumstances.
Sick but still swimmin',
Monday, September 23, 2013
*UPDATE* I feel like I am coming down with another cold so this card is even more relevant...
"The Resting Tree is a sign for you to stop focusing and planning and be at peace in the moment. This is the representation of non-action and relaxation."
I've been feeling very burnt out the past week. I have had some rather unpleasant sinus headaches and bladder issues over the past week, and have not slept well. Then on Sunday I found out from my daughter's teacher (who called me) that my daughter has not been behaving in school on several occasions. I very carefully, and somewhat sternly, explained everything to my daughter this morning but despite the warnings from the teacher, my husband and myself she got in trouble yet again. I know the teacher is implementing a strategy for the 2nd grade class, as she noticed things were getting squirrelly, but it just really upset me--I was hoping things would go more smoothly!
Anyway, I'm going to hibernate a bit for the rest of the week. I've been enjoying this app I got by Colette Baron-Reid: Wisdom of the Hidden Realms. I'm taking this card as a signal to wait to take any specific action for my daughter (beyond what her teacher is working on discipline-wise in the class), but try to let it rest and see how things settle out. This is a new situation for her, having never been in the classroom. I know it is a big adjustment. It helps somewhat to know that she wasn't the only kid in the class to exhibit behavior issues, but it isn't necessarily much of a relief, either.
I hope you all have a wonderful week.
Sunday, September 22, 2013
I pulled these cards yesterday, regarding work/business-related stuff. My sense from this reading is that it is OK to take some time in finding a situation that I feel comfortable working with in a work sense. The cards that came up were Business Venture, Healing, Healed, Healer, Let Go and Winter.
I feel that the Winter card is a timing card, possibly indicating that an opportunity may show up in the winter months (probably December through February) that I can grab hold of, or it can also mean letting things lie fallow until a better time comes around. Either way, there is the implication of patience and timing.
The Let Go card I often receive when I am being impatient about something, or lacking faith in a situation, thinking there isn't a very good solution. I tend to overthink things, or just worry. As the cheesy saying goes, 'You can't receive until you let go of what is in your hand.' In my case it's letting go of the demons in my brain. :)
The Healing card makes me think that the key to making things work is to know when to let go and when to be patient. I have found this to be true in the past, so hopefully it will come in handy now.
Friday, September 20, 2013
Even though I got a positive initial reading about the inquiry I made to a local museum/gallery about teaching or another art position, the subsequent readings I've been getting have all been fairly mixed and even discouraging. Even so, I have to believe that there is some spark of goodness from that initial reading. Perhaps it was just encouraging me to go out there looking rather than sitting on the fence.
When I did a two card spread asking whether things would go through for me to get a position at the museum through teaching or something else, I got this severe-looking duo (above). The 10 of Swords said 'no' to me and the Hierophant seemed to reflect that it was about teaching. That is my take on it. I am going with my gut which said that this is a rejection for this particular place anyway.
As I mentioned in a previous post, I still plan on going back out there and looking for other opportunities. I don't want to feel stuck or tied to a single chance. It has been more than three days since I e-mailed the curator of education at the museum and so far I've heard nothing. At least I appreciate that the cards are being straight with me.
When I did some pulls with the Enchanted Tarot App today I wanted to know what to post on my blog. I chose a card and got the King of Swords. My hubby! This really hit me because my husband has been very, very stressed about work lately. He wants to leave his job but he needs to figure out something else that is suitable and pays well enough, etc, etc, before he thinks about leaving. He's a cautious guy and deliberates on everything (double Libra!) but I think he needs to embody some wandsy energy on this because I feel his job is really, really dragging him down.
In addition to being on call he may have to work full-time over the weekend on his alleged days off. Then he won't get any days off for the whole week. And his work doesn't care at all what he thinks about it. There have been more and more annoying things going on at work over the past several months and I feel this has been the final straw for him. He has been at this job for 13 years.
Anyway, I decided to pull a second card and lo and behold I got my daughter's card, the Princess of Wands. I smiled because to me it felt appropriate that I should think about or prioritize my husband and daughter, as they are my true priorities above anything else. This is something I try to remember whenever anything is bothering me, particularly if that something is a bit piddly or petty.
I did end up pulling another card after this, the 10 of Wands, which showed a heaviness of burden. I wasn't sure how to interpret this. Perhaps it's telling me to worry less about them. I worry about my husband during this stressful work time, and I worry about my daughter with the various adjustments to school. Perhaps I just need to drop that burden and let things work themselves out.
And because I guess I felt like pulling four cards total, I picked a final card, which was the Prince of Swords. This, unfortunately, always reminds me of the son I felt very strongly I would have but didn't. But I can also see it as a fresh idea or maybe a fledgling learning opportunity. Either way, there is an interesting balance of air and fire in this reading, perhaps indicating the need for a mixture of action and thought in current situations.
Thursday, September 19, 2013
|Nine of Pentacles, edited in PicMonkey.com|
I know, however, that being able to bring income home is not the only valuable skill in life. I have done other things, and been supportive on other levels. But...as I think of this from a financial perspective I'm made aware that this isn't just about finances. It's about independence. I've never felt independent, and I've never really wanted to feel independent--not really--until more recently. I've always been terrified of the world and even though the world has not spared me all of its terrors, I've at least avoided the whole making money terror. I realize I am lucky in that I have not had to do this--but I also wonder if my self-esteem has suffered because of it. There is always a consequence!
Back to the independence part. The Nine of Pentacles is a great representation of independence, financial and otherwise. A woman stands in a garden, looking content. She's alone, though. She doesn't seem unhappy about that, though. This is something I am striving for. I've always been deeply co-dependent. I know that we're all co-dependent in the sense that no man or woman is an island, but I feel like issues of abandonment and low self worth have catapulted me further into a land of neediness than I would like to be. I've noticed that this has improved over the years, but I think I want to take the next step, which for me is actually making money of my own, not relying on anyone else: my parents, my husband, etc. I feel like the efforts I have made in this vein have been very half-hearted and shabby. I find myself really wanting to dedicate myself more fully to this pursuit.
It's funny because the enchantment/spell on this card is possibly something I could do! Not sure if I have a green candle (oh well!) but I do have some geraniums and a little pouch of coins. So, I figure...what the heck? May as well try it. It's a Thursday, too, just as the description suggests, but I don't really feel that you have to worry about the day. In fact, I don't know if there's any merit to this at all, but at the very least, I feel that setting an intention to focus on self-reliance, abundance and other attributes of this card, is a great place to work from.
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
|Note: I did edit this in PicMonkey.com, so don't be alarmed. :D|
Hello Shiny Folk,
I purchased this app not too long ago for $3.99 I believe it was. I am abstaining from app purchasing for the most part, but I have a soft spot in my heart for this deck! This is the deck my husband (then brand new fiancé) purchased for me for Valentine's Day 2000, which lead to me reading pretty much daily from then on. Before then, I would only dabble in a very spotty way, and I don't think I actually owned any decks. I might have owned a basic Rider-Waite. I'm not even sure if I had that!
This is a single card draw I did recently, the same day I was doing a money/business inquiry. I always look upon the Ace of Pentacles as an auspicious beginning for health or finances. But it is only that...a begin that has to be followed up on. And that's what I did today when I e-mailed the museum. A seed is planted and you have to see if you can grow what you planted or if it will die and you have to move on to something else. I have a tendency to neglect both literal and figurative plants, so let us hope I don't give up too soon.
A few minutes ago, I sent off an e-mail to the curator of education here at our local museum and gallery. I was inquiring about any possibility of teaching workshops or classes there. I have taught a workshop there in the past, and other classes in local art centers, but it has been eight years since I have done so! The last time I did this was when I was pregnant with my now almost 8-year-old daughter! Anyway. I have been putting this off. I wanted to ask the cards if it was a good idea or not.
At first, I did a long spread and it just confused me. So I decided to stick with two cards. I like two cards with the lenormand because they work together as a pair. I got Clover, which flipped out, and then a second card, Ring. The phrase 'lucky commitment' came to mind, but anyway. Here is what LearnLenormand.com says about this pairing:
Ring + clover (2): beneficial agreement, lucky cycle
Or, the other way around:
Clover + ring (25): lucky contract, lucky relationship
This felt like a really positive answer to my 'should I contact this person about doing a workshop' query. I still felt nervous as I typed up the e-mail, but hey...if it works out it works out. If not, then that's OK. I am going to try not to freak out about it. I have noted that there are very few things that I decide to do that I don't feel a little shaky (or a lot shaky) about. It's part of overcoming my anxiety and self-doubt. I have to work through the fear and come out the other side.
Lately I've been having twinges of wanting to do something with people again. Making soap at home is fine--and I am not even making the hot or cold process soap, so it's less challenging--but really there is very little human interaction that goes with it. My friend Allison of Epically Epic Soap, a very successful Etsy shop, said that she thought being home alone making soap was kind of the opposite of what she thought I would enjoy doing, with my fiery Sag rising which loves to mix and mingle.
I think I fear the extroverted part of me. I also have a very shy, tender Pisces Moon, who gets her feelings hurt easily and is too sensitive at times. But that's also the part of me that is able to be creative and intuitive--things that are very helpful in an artistic capacity. It's a kind of mixed bag.
I will update this post on what the education coordinator tells me. We'll see!
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
I spied my Fairy Tale Fortune Cards (Lenormand) on my little oracle shelf in the study and I decided I hadn't used it enough and whipped it out. Plus the colors are very dynamic and the designs so bold that I thought it might lift me out of a vague mood.
What was on my mind and the topic of this reading is money. Mooooney, money, money! I've been tired of scraping every last penny in recent days and I just feel like there's something I could do that would help. You know the drill. Anyway. I've been (somewhat unsuccessfully) scheming around ways of bringing in some money in an honest way that uses my talents. Admitting to or honing in on talents is another thing altogether. And maybe I am being rigid about the whole thing--not seeing things that might be a good fit for me. I don't know, but I decided to look to the cards to see what might come up.
I decided to do a somewhat larger spread for some reason. Hopefully this won't scramble my brain too badly. I'll give it a shot! I feel that balancing traditional meanings with intuition has always suited me when it comes to deciphering spreads. In this case, I felt the loss in Fox+Scythe. Initially, I thought of the personal meaning that Fox has for me, both as a sort of family emblem and totem, and also as the name I had chosen if I ever had a baby boy, which is a fairly dim possibility now that my husband has had a vasectomy. I had to cut off that possibility when we decided not to have more kids. The Scythe is a pretty vivid (perhaps even gory) representation of this emotional detachment. Oh, and maybe a literal representation of the vasectomy (sorry to the male audience). Beyond that is the emotional recovery. It's been two years plus since the vasectomy and I'm still reeling from the impact of deciding to have just one child. But the reading could be pointing out that I still have this desire, which was re-awakened with my sister's pregnancy and subsequent birth of her daughter just a couple of weeks ago. In any case, I decided to look up Lenormand combinations for Fox+Scythe and got:
I found this interesting, and more work-related than my personal meanings. I realize, though, that there are often layers of meaning in readings. The fox shows me stopping my bath/body product business, at least in terms of making it a business. I'm still attempting to sell things on the side, but that pretty much fell flat shortly after doing it. This makes sense to me because I didn't feel too passionate about it. Letting it go felt like the thing to do, given my lack of interest--at least on a more consuming level where it would be a business rather than a hobby. I sure hope the work-related accident isn't true. Lol. But seriously--I think this shows an ending in the business sense. Can't move on to something else if you haven't terminated the first thing, right?
Fox + scythe (10): resignation, termination, work-related accident
We now sail past the Fox and Scythe to the Ship. The Ship shows a journey, and could be literal, indicating transportation or travel in the same way that the Chariot or Six of Swords might. The meaning written on the card is rather nice, indicating progress and rewards. Rewards, perhaps, for cutting ties with something I wasn't necessarily thrilled at doing, and moving on to something else.
Underneath this transition we have Fish, Path and Tower. The first card I pulled on the bottom row, actually, was Path. To me this indicated a need to make a decision. Like a friend of mine commented on Facebook: "Two roads diverged in a yellow wood...more like 30 roads!" I can relate to this sense of overwhelm--trying to figure out what path or paths to take and which to avoid. I'm actually concerned that I may not get on ANY path, but if I can just move forward with this decision it looks like it will yield results, as the Fish (card of money and business) stands nearby as does Tower, the card of an institution or business and also stability. Of course when you read the Tower+Roads combination it sounds pretty depressing:
Tower + crossroad (22): lonely decision, lonely path, government options
But then again, that's why I don't always take these definitions so literally. Sometimes they are very literal--shockingly so! There is a sense of loneliness in my life as I am at home alone now most of the time, and my husband is away at work and my daughter is at school. I feel like even though my place is at home I feel, also, that I have not really found a niche.
SO...with that in mind, I want to ask all of you:
What do you think my main talents are, and do you have any ideas of how I might utilize them to bring in some money?
Thanks in advance to anyone who has any comments on this. :)
Monday, September 16, 2013
|I guess I shouldn't use the flower and star fish images because they aren't mine, but I will take them down if anyone cares...|
Using the Gaia Oracle App on my phone, I chose this card and it was my intention to post it for today. Well! The day is not young but it's still here. It's 8:16pm and I figure I may as well still do it.
I've gotten this card before but didn't post it for some reason. I got a beautiful chevron amethyst a couple of weeks ago for three dollars. Anyway, my point is I was thinking about amethysts anyway.
I like this message of confidence and certainty. This is something I feel has been seriously lacking for me, particularly in the past several years. The feelings of insecurity and a lack of direction have only grown stronger in the past couple of years and I'm sick of it!
Anyway. I am going to try to take the affirmations to heart and step forward without so much hesitancy, allowing for change and letting myself set and achieve some goals.
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
I was reading an article about sex last night--about really making it a priority and not an afterthought, and I pulled these cards right after. I know. It's a kind of racy topic, but I think we all let things like this slide. I've found myself rather tense in that department lately (well, in EVERY department). Life stress comes up between the sheets if you know what I mean. This reading seemed to reflect my desire to prioritize romance, passion and love with my husband.
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
I do dig my new divination table, even though I haven't QUITE figured out where to store it. That's ok. It's not huge so I bet I can work something out. I love that I can do a pretty large spread on it easily, if that feels right to do. Sometimes large spreads make my head want to explode, but in this case I didn't mind it so much.
I decided to pull cards for October. At first I was worried because the very first card I pulled indicated major challenges to overcome. Not exactly my favorite sentiment, but that's alright. For some reason I felt compelled to pull six cards instead of four--which is generally what I usually pull for these monthly pulls. I guess I wanted more information. Sometimes four cards doesn't give quite as much information as I would like.
So, as I gazed somewhat leerily at the Mountain card I pulled the next card which was Cobweb, indicating that if something does go awry, I am protected from harm. OK, that is somewhat comforting, but it still indicates some distress. Boy, you can't please me! Hehee. No, but really, this card has shown up for me during times when I was frustrated with something or had a problem that I didn't feel I could do anything about, and then a solution was presented, seemingly serendipitously.
The third card here is Heart. This card can be romantic, and it can also be just about love in general, and finally I think it can be taken literally as about the anatomical heart. I hope it isn't the latter, because I don't want to have any heart trouble.
As we go to the fourth card we have another mountain-themed card in Mountain Road. This card is about success, but only if you stick closely to a plan. You have to navigate the road carefully. I am not entirely sure what this refers to, but perhaps I will know in October. The two Mountain cards made me think of my daughter's school which has the word 'Mountain' as the first name in it. Just a thought.
Card five is Horseshoe, a card of general good luck. I like that...but who wouldn't?! And I have to say I don't have any complaints about ending on the Flowers card which means happiness. Thinking on it just now, I realize how happiness is becoming more and more important to me each year. I feel like so much of my life has been focused around anxiety (about sickness, about abandonment, about relationships, etc), and not around happiness or anything that might bring true joy.
Looks like the month may have a few challenges but will have a positive side, too.
Monday, September 9, 2013
I found this neat little table at a local thrift store for $4. Great price! It folds out, as shown in the picture, or the leaves fold down. It's pretty small--about the size of a side table. I love it! It's lightweight and would be easy to tote from place to place. After humming and hawing about where to use it I finally decided to use it for divination. I don't really have an official place to do divination, and I'll probably continue to use my bed or floor or wherever I happen to be but it's nice to have something that you can use specifically for this purpose. It reminds me of Prince Lenormand's wonderful tarot table design.
Anyway... I did pull this Lenormand spread on the table, and I haven't yet analyzed it. I did two readings, actually, and both had fish in the center--so finances and business seem front and center, which make sense as they're on my mind. Rider and Birds make me think of conversation/news/figuring out, traveling, maybe pounding the pavement. OK, maybe not quite.
Anchor seems to favor stability and Key seems to suggest that finding a win-win solution in terms of a venture or employment is certainly possible. I will try to keep my mind open and communication flowing on this topic and see how far I can get.
Sunday, September 8, 2013
I don't think I have fully realized how commitment-phobic I am until recently.
I mean, when it comes to my marriage this isn't the case, but when it comes to almost EVERYTHING else, that is how I feel. I think this happens with people. Often it happens in relationships, and for me that seems to be true (at times) with friendships, but more so with business ventures and any kind of idea, group or anything else that may have longer-ranging consequences.
This is part of why parenting has been so hard. You have to hang in there day after day, even when things are just horrible. Sleep problems, mood problems, health problems, etc. It can go on and on for years.
But anyway. With parenting it's more ingrained, I think. It's more innate. With business ventures my self confidence just takes a nose dive with most things and I give up before things have barely begun, or else I find some other way to self-sabotage. Having an degree in art has never been the recipe for financial success, but it's more than that--it's an attitude I've adopted that labels me 'loser' before anything has a chance to flourish.
How do I break out of this? Well, I guess the answer is commitment and hard work. These things outlast any amount of talent or good fortune. Nothing is as lasting as hard work and a dedication to an outcome.
In terms of a specific idea--I don't know if I have one quite yet, but the fact is that I am commitment-phobic when it comes to jobs and projects, and recognizing this tendency is the first step in combating it, I think. If I lie to myself about this I will keep falling into the same hole over and over again, having amnesia about the experience but assuming there is no problem--or misdiagnosing the problem altogether.
One thing that comes to mind is putting out feelers about projects and then following through in asking about them. Don't just stop at Stage One. Go to Stage Two and then Stage Three! I think follow-through is a no-brainer but apparently not for me. I get seriously cold feet when it comes to these sorts of things. For instance, I picked up the business card of a woman who coordinates the art classes at a local museum. But instead of calling or e-mailing her I held onto the card and said maybe later I would...but I am not sure if I have gotten the courage up to do so.
There are many other examples of this that I could lost but present and in my past, but there is no point to that. My assignment for myself is to try to be more courageous and also more committed when it comes to any sort of venture.
Saturday, September 7, 2013
Here is another draw from the slightly cheesy but worthwhile Flower Therapy Oracle. And since I know many of you have bad eyesight like I do, here are what they say:
Daisy: Simplify Your Life-You've had so much going on that you're spread too thin. This has to change now so your vitality can recharge.
Calendula: You Are Healed-The healing you've prayed for is on its way.
Waratah: Become the True You-Show the world who you really are, and what you were born to do.
Bromeliad: Be Positive-Your thoughts can shape your experience, so be sure to focus on the positive.
Originally this reading was supposed to be about working on a new idea, new career venture, but as is true with oracles, they tell you what you need to hear and not always what you ask about. And no, I am not just saying that to justify that this reading doesn't necessarily reflect only money/career issues, but it comes from years of experience reading tarot and seeing that what is most important comes through in readings! I bet I am not the only reader who has noticed this!
So, what came through? A bunch of advice for me, apparently. It's funny because the daisy card came up a lot for me the first day I got this deck. Whenever I tried to complicate things with my silly convoluted ideas of life and how it should be, the answer I would get was, 'Chill out, man. You're losing perspective...simplify!' I do know that I tend to get really wrapped up in anxiety and details in a negative way. I frequently grapple with free-floating anxiety. I'll constantly feel really anxious about things--so much so that I feel the anxiety but sometimes forget why I'm anxious. Then I'll remember and start worrying more. Hahaa! So ridiculous when I type about it.
So, I am trying to take Daisy seriously, because I often think, 'WELL, I am NOT nearly as busy as the average person.' But is it about a lifestyle or a frame of mind. Or both? And it's true that my vitality is very low--otherwise I wouldn't feel down and I wouldn't feel so prone to illness, either.
Waratah (never heard of that flower) talks about really allowing your true self to come through. This is another difficult one for me. For one thing, I really don't like talking about tarot (and especially not my blog) on social networking places like Facebook. It makes me feel ill. I'm very self-conscious about deeper beliefs I hold or things which might incite controversy. If there's any chance they will I tend to delete those comments. I won't even like things that are controversial much less talk about them. I think it's because when I see things like that on other people's pages they upset me and I obsess over them for hours, weeks, etc. Social networking freaks me out in general. It's so pervasive and people are so biting to each other, even their own friends and dear family members. I would rather spread love and positive energy, and maybe a recipe, photo or DIY cleaning product.
SO...what does Waratah suggest? This card asks me not to judge myself for who I am on an authentic level. For me, this confuses me at times. Sometimes I wonder who I am authentically. Aren't we all a bi-product of our own conditioning and environment? It surely seems so. Sometimes I find this a hard thing to celebrate. Even talents are hard for me to celebrate. Who cares if I am naturally decent at making art? I know...this is a weird sentiment but sometimes I think about these things for too long and they start leaning back into free-floating anxiety land. :)
Calendula returns as a repeat card, telling me that physical healing is possible. I've been doubting that lately. It's annoying to have a chronic illness, like interstitial cystitis, or thyroid issues, or whatever issue a person has. I have had several health issues that have just been lingering. I think I would have made more progress on them had I been able to afford the treatment I was following. And I do feel I saw some progress, although somewhat slow. Now I'm faced with having to make a decision about how to deal with my own healing. I've decided the best way may be through diet and lifestyle. Avoiding grains and sweets, eating lots of veggies, etc. And taking only a few supplements which I feel will most benefit me.
Finally, Bromeliad suggests that I try to be a little more positive. That is something I definitely always need to be mindful of and work on--it helps mitigate the anxiety that I frequently feel.
So basically I feel this reading is telling me there are some areas that are important for me to work on, both before starting any new venture and also during anything.
Friday, September 6, 2013
So I finally managed to drag myself out of bed after I was laying there attempting to play a game with my daughter. I kept dozing off, since I am myself recovering from a cold and feel pretty zonked out.
My daughter woke up this morning saying her throat hurt and could I help her? I groaned inwardly because this was one of my first symptoms of this cold which I am now on the tail end of. I hope. It's really no big deal--and to be honest I don't mind not taking her to school, and obviously I would rather keep her home than potentially infect other kids and the teacher. I called in to the school and e-mailed my daughter's teacher.
Anyway, here are the cards I pulled using the Ator tarot app they made immediate sense to me, using the associations that are well known to me:
Four of Wands=Home
Page of Wands=My daughter's card
5 of Wands=Infection
You guys can steal my idea of you want (please do!) but to me the 5 of Wands now means infection more often than anything else in my readings. It has meant yeast and viral and bacterial infections in quite a number of readings. I kind of see it as a swarm of pathogens.
Anyway, I am lucky in that my daughter is one of the most cheerful sick people that I've ever met. I'm unlucky in that I am not. Haha. Also: my interstitial cystitis is really bad right now, so I have a constant pressure in my bladder and I am also sick. But other than harassing me to play games with her, my daughter hasn't been too cranky. I actually find her quite a bit crankier on a day to day basis, but that is thankfully waning a bit as she gets older, though I would still describe her as being fussy. She has many positive qualities, mind you! I don't mean to sound whiny. She is quite endearing, hilarious, funny and affectionate--very energetic. Her teacher had a lot of nice things to say about her, which made me happy.
Well, I am going to figure out whether I am going to take something for my bladder or what. At the very least I am going to make some lentils (if I can get up the energy) and then drink tons of water.
Thursday, September 5, 2013
The other day I spotted this deck at a local bookstore. I was intrigued. Even though Doreen is very cheesy, I don't mind that. I can overlook the cheesiness. Sometimes the cheesiness is helpful to me in breaking out of a malaise. I expressed a desire to get the deck but our finances are tight and I knew it wasn't a good idea, so I let go of the idea for the time being.
Then yesterday, in the throes of a draining head cold (pun intended?) while my daughter was out school we went on a short outing (where I mostly stayed in the car so as not to infect others), and my husband offered to buy the deck for me. We ate outside on a patio where no one else was sitting and I played with the deck my husband bought me! As I cut the deck and separated the sticky card stacks the card I set eyes on first was this card: Calendula. It's about being healed. I thought this was an appropriate card to see since I was sick. Then I shuffled the deck around some more and got it again while I was sitting on the patio. I did a bunch of other pulls, too, but I decided to post this one for today.
I do feel better today, thankfully, but I am also very tired. Tired, tired, tired. Bone tired. I have not slept well lately--which isn't really new. My sleep has always been pretty bad, and there are periods where it's very bad, but anyway. I think more than anything the past week has been emotionally draining. My daughter starting school for the first time, which triggered all manner of anxiety in me, my sister having an early labor, family and chaos, and then getting sick.
I took my daughter to school this morning and she seemed very tired and fussy, too. Grreaaaaaat, I thought. Just what I need! But thankfully she seemed more composed by the time we got to the school, and my poor, tender bladder (IC), managed to hold while I dropped her off.
I have to leave in less than an hour to pick her up since today is an early release day, but so far my very first day completely alone has gone fine. It was a short day but I realize now that years with minimal time to myself has not necessarily been a good thing. An hour or two here and there--or one overnight trip a year--doesn't really give you time to slow down and figure out where your head is. I think everyone needs this time to process things.
I should be folding laundry, as there has been a stack piling up that I have been ignoring, but I just feel like allowing this personal healing. Sometimes being productive isn't everything. I did make some soap and get my daughter a toothbrush (hers looks like it had been through a garbage disposal--it hadn't--from use), but I don't feel like being overtly housewifey today.
I hope everyone has a lovely evening and day tomorrow.
Monday, September 2, 2013
Even though I already did a September reading using the Tea Leaf Fortune Cards, I wanted to do it again just because I happened to have the cards out when doing readings for other folks.
One common element between this reading and the one I already did is the Stork card. Both crib and stork showed up for September. I think this was one of those literal readings, because my sister gave birth early, and I speculated in my reading that she may well have the baby early. I was surprised that it was true, however! The reading is technically a bit off because it said September would have the birth/labor, but technically it was at the very end of August (on the 30th). I say it's close enough!
Even so, there may be a double meaning for the Crib/Stork thing. Like the Empress, Ace of Wands or other creative card, the Stork can mean a new venture or opportunity. I can see how this would be so, seeing as my daughter began school at the end of August (on the 28th), and has only gone three times. In September, the school situation will still be very new. I am worried about how I am going to adjust to all of this, even though these cards seem very positive. Right now I feel muddled and confused, as the Forest card in the previous September draw suggests, but perhaps my confusion will give way to understanding as time moves on.
This reading falls under the category of 'too good to be true'...listing victory, good luck, new opportunities and money, but hopefully it isn't wrong. I am such a worrier but I'm trying to not fight so hard against my fears and instead look for other avenues for my energy and efforts to flow.
Sunday, September 1, 2013
|This isn't how the card appears--I superimposed a quote from the card on top of the card image.|
Here's an example of a card I 'pulled' from my Universal Wisdom Oracle Cards app on my phone. Even though there's too much cheesy gratuitous nudity in this oracle, I don't mind so much. I just brush it aside and look into the meaning of the card.
The butterfly is a very common symbol for change due to the whole pupa to butterfly transition. It also makes me think of anything related to air signs and the intellect, which is a common tarot association. Finally, it makes me think of thyroid issues, as the thyroid is a butterfly-shaped gland.
I would say all of these things are relevant to me, especially the one about a rite of passage or change, as I am going through a time of transition (when aren't we, I guess?) with my daughter starting school for the first time, and me trying to figure out what the heck I am doing next. I find myself wondering what I want to do over the next decade, and sort of drawing a blank. I may try to allow things to unfold more naturally, as they do in nature.
Happy September, everyone!