Thursday, September 5, 2013

Calendula: You Are Healed


The other day I spotted this deck at a local bookstore. I was intrigued. Even though Doreen is very cheesy, I don't mind that. I can overlook the cheesiness. Sometimes the cheesiness is helpful to me in breaking out of a malaise. I expressed a desire to get the deck but our finances are tight and I knew it wasn't a good idea, so I let go of the idea for the time being.

Then yesterday, in the throes of a draining head cold (pun intended?) while my daughter was out school we went on a short outing (where I mostly stayed in the car so as not to infect others), and my husband offered to buy the deck for me. We ate outside on a patio where no one else was sitting and I played with the deck my husband bought me! As I cut the deck and separated the sticky card stacks the card I set eyes on first was this card: Calendula. It's about being healed. I thought this was an appropriate card to see since I was sick. Then I shuffled the deck around some more and got it again while I was sitting on the patio. I did a bunch of other pulls, too, but I decided to post this one for today.

I do feel better today, thankfully, but I am also very tired. Tired, tired, tired. Bone tired. I have not slept well lately--which isn't really new. My sleep has always been pretty bad, and there are periods where it's very bad, but anyway. I think more than anything the past week has been emotionally draining. My daughter starting school for the first time, which triggered all manner of anxiety in me, my sister having an early labor, family and chaos, and then getting sick.

I took my daughter to school this morning and she seemed very tired and fussy, too. Grreaaaaaat, I thought. Just what I need! But thankfully she seemed more composed by the time we got to the school, and my poor, tender bladder (IC), managed to hold while I dropped her off.

I have to leave in less than an hour to pick her up since today is an early release day, but so far my very first day completely alone has gone fine. It was a short day but I realize now that years with minimal time to myself has not necessarily been a good thing. An hour or two here and there--or one overnight trip a year--doesn't really give you time to slow down and figure out where your head is. I think everyone needs this time to process things.

I should be folding laundry, as there has been a stack piling up that I have been ignoring, but I just feel like allowing this personal healing. Sometimes being productive isn't everything. I did make some soap and get my daughter a toothbrush (hers looks like it had been through a garbage disposal--it hadn't--from use), but I don't feel like being overtly housewifey today.

I hope everyone has a lovely evening and day tomorrow.

Love,
MM

4 comments:

  1. Sometimes you need to be sure that when you pull a card is it an uplifting/comforting one. That is why there a cheesy decks :)

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  2. Yeah, I agree. It's a nice break from tarot, but then again...I find oracles to be more specific sometimes too. It's not just about being fluffy!

    Thanks for commenting. :)

    Hugs,
    MM

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  3. Love Ellen's comment - so true!

    I'm not at all surprised you've got sick, I think we often manifest when we're feeling stressed, and you've been through a lot this week! Hope as things settle you also feel better. And make the most of that time to heal :)

    Cxxx

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    Replies
    1. Yeah, I think we all need something milder, more affirmation-y, less esoteric than tarot at times. I am glad for the variety of decks! :) Glad and also too tempted. Hehee.

      I know...I should've figured that I would get sick. After months of worrying about this, then it happens and my immune system goes crazy. Sadly all three of us are sick right now but it's not that big of a deal. Mostly I'm just run down and tired at this point, which I imagine is largely due to the recent stress!

      I'm still worrying about various things, like the fact that a jail is right across the street from the school (oy!) and that Pele can't see the board very well (may need glasses), and that I still haven't found something I really want to focus on, and I've agreed to volunteer for some things but I don't really want to be around kids all the time (I know, it sounds rude but anyway)...and I want to do something for myself but nothing is compelling me to do it. In the end I wonder if I'll ever feel interested in doing anything much?!!

      Ranting complete for now. :D Thanks for the lovely comments.

      XOXO,
      MM

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