Thursday, September 19, 2013

Nine of Pentacles: Self-Reliance and a Thursday Spell

Nine of Pentacles, edited in PicMonkey.com

Something I've always wanted to be is self-reliant. This is something that has been on my mind lately, especially when thinking of going back into the work force in a financial sense. In my estimation, parenting has still been the absolute hardest thing I've ever done, though I realize it's very important and rewarding. My point is...I have never felt able to take care of myself financially on any level. I've never had to support myself monetarily. I got married at a very young age. I met my husband when I was 20, and he supported me through school. I realize this sounds wonderful, and it is on one level, but on another level I never gained any self-esteem in this area. I've never felt good about myself in terms of an ability to handle finances or bring home any bacon (well, technically I've purchased a lot of bacon over the years, but you know what I mean).

I know, however, that being able to bring income home is not the only valuable skill in life. I have done other things, and been supportive on other levels. But...as I think of this from a financial perspective I'm made aware that this isn't just about finances. It's about independence. I've never felt independent, and I've never really wanted to feel independent--not really--until more recently. I've always been terrified of the world and even though the world has not spared me all of its terrors, I've at least avoided the whole making money terror. I realize I am lucky in that I have not had to do this--but I also wonder if my self-esteem has suffered because of it. There is always a consequence!

Back to the independence part. The Nine of Pentacles is a great representation of independence, financial and otherwise. A woman stands in a garden, looking content. She's alone, though. She doesn't seem unhappy about that, though. This is something I am striving for. I've always been deeply co-dependent. I know that we're all co-dependent in the sense that no man or woman is an island, but I feel like issues of abandonment and low self worth have catapulted me further into a land of neediness than I would like to be. I've noticed that this has improved over the years, but I think I want to take the next step, which for me is actually making money of my own, not relying on anyone else: my parents, my husband, etc. I feel like the efforts I have made in this vein have been very half-hearted and shabby. I find myself really wanting to dedicate myself more fully to this pursuit.

It's funny because the enchantment/spell on this card is possibly something I could do! Not sure if I have a green candle (oh well!) but I do have some geraniums and a little pouch of coins. So, I figure...what the heck? May as well try it. It's a Thursday, too, just as the description suggests, but I don't really feel that you have to worry about the day. In fact, I don't know if there's any merit to this at all, but at the very least, I feel that setting an intention to focus on self-reliance, abundance and other attributes of this card, is a great place to work from.

Love,
MM

2 comments:

  1. I think putting some meaningful items together and infusing them with your intention is a great way of doing a spell. I do love spells with tarot cards because they represent your intention so clearly. For me a spell is like a prayer with props.
    Good luck with your enchantment for independance :)

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    1. I agree, Ellen! May as well try it, eh? :) I think focusing on things is a great way to move toward something. I feel more aligned with a purpose if I've been thinking on it and really putting energy into it!

      XOXO

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