Thursday, October 3, 2013

October Focus Trio


I decided to get out the Tattered Nomad Oracle and the three cards I pulled disturbed me a bit. Hahaa!! At first. My question was about what to focus on in October. But after reading about these cards a bit I came up with the phrase:


"I need to be honest about what I care about."

I think I am definitely lying to myself! I keep saying, 'Meh...I don't know what I want." But I think I know perfectly well what I don't and do what, but I am not comfortable making a choice (choice being another meaning of the snake card) and potentially upsetting others.

I also looked to Helen's Lenormand Dictionary for helpful clues:

Card 7 (Q♣): Snake General: !, problem, complication, betrayal, rival, traitor, jealousy, trouble, dysfunction, disorder, deceit, sabotage, detour, drainpipe, plumbing, hose, cable Location: bathroom, detour, winding road or path, scenic route, river Colours: green Health: large intestine, digestive system, disease, illness, disorder, side-effects, complications, STD Timing (houses): 7 years

Card 24 (J♥): Heart (love life) General: :), love, desire, generosity, compatibility, affection, fondness, preference, favourite, object of affection, happiness, passion, bliss, kindness, giving, sharing, compassion Location: central area, hub of activity Colours: red, pink Health: heart, blood vessels, organ transplant Timing (houses): August Timing (other): Friday

O.K.  When I see this list I also see some health stuff. The Snake talks about digestion, the intestines, etc. That is something I've been working on fixing. I have weak digestion and I need to be mindful of remembering to help it along by taking digestive enzymes, eating easy-to-digest soups and cooked vegetables, etc. I tend to feel rather off digestively and this sounds minor but it can be very distracting if it's ongoing.

Of course there's the meaning of taking a winding path when making a decision. It sure seems like I am doing that. One of the ways I am lying to myself is that I think I have to wait around for an answer to pop up. Like suddenly I will know, with 100% certainty, what it is I would just LOVE to do. Wooo!

The heart connected with the snake can be about betrayal, cheating, etc. I know in my heart (pun!) that this isn't the meaning for me and my particular situation. It feels more like a heart's desire, passion for life kinda thing. Hopefully it doesn't mean literal heart trouble, but anyway.

I feel that I often (very often!) hold back my connection and love to others out of fear and hesitation. It happens far more than I would care to admit. I feel like I am incapable of fully letting go in a setting where there are other people. Even my husband! I still feel embarrassed and insecure about myself.

Anyway...well, if anyone else has some ideas let me know.

Much Love,
MM

4 comments:

  1. No thoughts about the reading because I'm really unfamiliar with the method, but I can relate to the holding back emotionally. I think it happens a little bit at a time. A piece of ourselves given but rejected. We sense disapproval and feel hurt. We learn to hold back. I don't know how to undo years of conditioning, through years of reconditiong or in a blinding flash of insight that changes everything? I always hope for the latter, but even a blinding flash of insight has to be revisited regularly and reinforced. Maybe once one starts to intentionally look for opportunities to connect they just keep finding them. I think maybe that's the way, like when you start seeing blue Volkswagens everywhere after buying one for yourself.

    And maybe you have to go slow. Let go a little bit at a time and when you see that you're still safe you can let go a little more next time.

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    1. Yeah, I know what you mean! I am not entirely familiar with it either, but I know some basic things, and readings should always be intuitive as well! So anyone can weight in. :)

      I agree with your assessment--I've noticed myself becoming more and more nervous and introverted as I get older. Maybe we should try to do some happy risks! Good goal to have. I don't think much happens in life until we take these risks. That is what I've noticed! The best things that happened to me were when I risked (getting married, husband moving across country, having a child, getting child off medication by finding nutritional deficiencies-but it took risk/fund-raising/embarrassment. Moving to a neighborhood we like because we got so fed up).

      I think there needs to be a push to motivate. I am working on finding the INTERNAL push and really going for it before things get crappy and force me to act. That is an interesting theory about opportunities.

      Thanks for the good wishes!

      XOXO,
      MM

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  2. This reminds me of a story in the bible in the book of Joshua. The Israelites are commanded to cross the Jordan River and head into Jericho, but the river rages as rivers do. They are told that when they put their feet in the water, the river will be cut off and they'll cross on dry land. It would have been easy to wait on the shore hoping the river would dry up, but they would have waited forever. Instead they took a risk and started walking across even as the river flowed. As promised, when their toes touched the water, the river was cut off and they crossed safely. This story is a lesson in taking a leap of faith. Taking the risk is what creates the opportunity. :-)

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    1. Sounds like an interesting story! I think it is very important to take leaps of faith if you find the good ones to take! :)

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