Tuesday, November 26, 2013
Temptation and Rest: Habits Feed on Tiredness
But then I started to stress, I guess. I'm not sure why exactly--but I went too far in the other direction. I wasn't eating enough during the day and so I started to get hungrier at night, which in turn made me feel icky and sleep poorly. So now I'm bringing things back into balance and trying to shift things back to eating more moderately during the day, but enough not to make me feel hungry at night.
This was the single card pull I did when asking about my recent slide with going back to eating too much late in the day and feeling crappy physically. It is the perfect card: Temptation (aka the Devil). The Devil, for me, has been more about bad habits than anything else. Sometimes it can mean hardcore addiction/drug use, etc, but usually it means the day to day addictions to too much screen time, negative thinking, carbs, sugar, snacking, caffeine, or (insert your favorite addiction). We all have them! When we're out of balance, stressed or tired, these things come more into focus. So, very to-the-point reminder today!
Today, after dropping my daughter off at school, I found myself feeling very, very low energy. Super tired. I was a little frustrated by this because I don't like being tired! I want to feel engaged in life, energetic. Originally, when I left to drop off my daughter I had ideas of things I wanted to do: looking around for gifts for my wonderful Sagittarian friends and family who have birthdays coming up, sitting in a nice coffee shop and brainstorming, maybe doing a couple errands or getting a few groceries, etc.
But after I dropped off my daughter, my energy also dropped off. By the time I got back toward town I felt like I needed to go lay down. Nothing sounded fun anymore. Not in a depression way but in a pure energy sort of way. I decided to go home and rest for a bit before going out. When I got home I pulled a single card from this app again and I got the 4 of Swords. The rest and sleep card! The chill out card. I laughed a little because I had been hoping for a pep talk to get me into the 'groove' again, but instead I got a confirmation of what my body was telling me: you're tired! Go rest for a while! I don't know why I fight against these things. In any event, that is my plan for the day. Keep things low key and maybe do a couple small, manageable chores such as folding a load of laundry or sweeping or something that doesn't take all of my energy away--what little I have today!
I think I want to get more in touch with the flow of my own energy day to day. I think the connection between these two cards is that when we're off balance and not listening to how we're feeling--we tend to want to push ourselves to feel motivated and energetic when we just don't feel that way, when we actually need to rest. And when we push ourselves in an artificial way that is when we're most vulnerable to our addictions--especially stimulants like caffeine and sugar. That's a recipe for burnout!