Thursday, December 12, 2013

A Dose of Love and Authenticity: See Y'all Monday

I am gonna take a quick blogging break (yet again, and apologies...I am wayyyy behind reading and commenting on all of your wonderful blogs) as the end of this week and weekend will be quite busy. My daughter's birthday is tomorrow and I need to get her a couple of gifts, make her cake, go grocery shopping for her birthday party on Saturday and then host the party. It will be good and I want to do it for her, but I have to make sure I focus and get things planned out, especially since my husband will be on call and has to be away for several hours on both weekend days, though he should be able to attend the party.

I am super, uber tired today. I keep waking up really early and can't get back to sleep. I may go back to taking magnesium and relaxing herbs every night (like valerian root) to try to get in a good space before sleep so I will be more likely to stay asleep. That and to avoid eating heavier meals later in the day, which I think is part of why I've not slept well the past couple of days.

Here's the card I got to post today. It's mega cheesy but I still think it's an important sentiment. In the description, it talks about removing any masks or mechanisms you've put in place to hide your true self, to be more open about who you are. This vulnerability is still pretty hard for me in some areas, and in other ways I'm not even entirely sure who I am. But in a general sense, I like the idea of being wholly yourself in the world. But in a way that is beneficial and loving as much as possible. I don't want to be a jackass.

With that, I will leave you all to your weekends. I hope everyone is well.

Love,
MM

8 comments:

  1. I had that last night. I wake up and my mind is racing - bags, sewing, friends, tarot, money, this, that - and I just can't get back to sleep again. I turn over and over and over. It's a pain in the butt, because then I'm tired or have a headache around 3pm.

    Hope you have a lovely party this weekend!

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    1. Yes...the mind can really make you feel crazy and foul up sleep in a big way! I am going to try to let go of as much of my anxiety as possible. I'll be busy tomorrow doing party planning and birthday shopping and cooking/baking for my daughter's birthday, but I will try to bring some fun and enjoyment into it rather than stress. I hope we both sleep better ASAP!

      Today ended up being pretty stressful. On top of sleeping very poorly and getting up around 3am, I ended up getting a phone call that my daughter fell and cut open her chin on the playground. It was snowy and I made the dumb (though not really intentional/purposeful) decision to let her wear her warm boots that don't have very good tread/soles. So she slipped and fell and had to get the gash glued with some sterile skin glue. Thankfully no stitches but I felt really badly. I know I shouldn't dwell on it and it is a common childhood thing, but I keep looking at pictures of her chin without a scar and then I fear she'll have that scar on her face for the rest of her life and I'll think how it was partially my fault. I found her some snow boots at the thrift store that were in good condition this evening--since she hates her other ones which is why I consented to let her wear her warm 'slipper boots'...literally slipping I guess. Oye.

      Hugs,
      MM

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  2. I can understand how you feel, but it wasn't your fault. You wanted her to be warm and kids can be persistent. It was an accident and may have happened in boots with stronger tread. I slipped on the ice as a kid and walloped my head badly. And another time, I put my teeth through my lip. It happens with kids. How ever much you try to prevent things from happening, you can't prevent everything. So try not to worry or blame yourself, yeah? Accidents happen; just thank God it wasn't worse!

    Big hugs

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    1. You're too kind. You're such a natural counselor. You should use that more! Anyway. Thanks for the kindness. I have been trying to shed some of my regret/shame/guilt/fear habits. It's quite a task but I think it's important. Sorry about your misadventures as a kid. Hopefully you are less accident-prone now. Hehee.

      Lotsa hugs,
      MM

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  3. Your daughter's birthday is the same day as my mom's. I hope she had a lovely one, despite the fall. Princelenormand is right. It was an accident, but I know we moms are really good at feeling guilty. {{{{hugs}}}}

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    1. Ahhh, really? Interesting. What's it like having a Sag as a mom? She did have a nice birthday, thank you! Insanely expensive party (glad I rarely give them!) but it was worth it, I think. Thanks for the goodness. XOXOX

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    2. We have a good relationship. She would do anything for anybody, usually ignoring her own needs in the process. She also says whatever she thinks, which can sometimes be a bit brutal. lol. She's a bit of a control freak, but recognizes it. Fiesty, smart, honest, outgoing. That's my mom. :-)

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    3. That is lovely to hear! I know what you mean--hahaa, Sag are well known for their tactlessness. Haha! But also their warmth and generosity. I have a Sag ascendant and I have two Sag sun sisters, a double Sag daughter, a double Sag other sister (Aquarian sun), and a huge list of Sag friends--I tend to attract them. Hope you are well. XOXO

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