Friday, November 21, 2014

Mountain and Commitment: Misanthropy and Other Tales


Here's an interesting duo I pulled this afternoon. I was pondering it and honestly I wasn't 100% sure what to think of it, but it was thought-provoking anyway. One of them was reversed (and for the life of me I can't remember which one) although the other was not. I don't know. Anyway.

My sense of these cards is that maybe I'm trying to do something the hard way, particularly when it comes to making plans or committing to a course of action. The Mountain card is about, as the quote states, not trying to trudge uphill, but rather to flow around difficulties. So, try...and commit, but don't try too hard? Haha. Well, no. I'm kidding. Ish. I do think I tend to obsess over things, particularly social interactions, adding multiple layers of insecurity and difficulty where they really aren't necessary.

Anyway. Lately I've been a little nervous about school-related volunteerism and socializing. It's a new area for me. I tend to be a bit hermit-like and if I do get together with people I try to keep it to a couple people or one on one. I don't really like groups, obligation or committees. So, I've been feeling a bit squeamish about all of those things. I want to be helpful but I feel like I'm being swallowed up by the Waldorf version of the PTA. These things rub me the wrong way.

Maybe this pull is saying that I can make commitments, but they don't have to be hardcore commitments. They can be easy. I don't have to agree to every piddly thing, every social event, every volunteer opportunity. I find myself easily overwhelmed by it all. And there's extra pressure now because of holiday-themed events where they constantly ask for help. 

So. I do some things I feel OK doing. I made 50 soaps for the school's winter event, I helped with the nature walk today, and I'm sure I'll do some other things. But I don't have to let it rule my life. I have run into several people recently who HAVE let it rule their life and seem up to their ears in stress. No thanks. Not for me!

On top of that, I've made commitments to travel for winter--expensive and stressful. Part of me (ok, a BIG part of me) just wants to say *uck it all, stay home, not bother socializing or all of these events and plans. I feel shackled by them.  I guess I need to find a way to re-frame these things so I feel less misanthropic.

Love,
MM

p.s. Be back the first week of December!

2 comments:

  1. I think the fact you make soaps for them, helped out on the walk, and have done stuff for art class, is already plenty. As you say, do what feels comfortable, as if you get all stressed with it, you won't really help yourself or the kids. As for the winter socialising, I often find these things are better once I'm actually there - it's the anticipation that stresses me out. So, how could you reframe this, or find ways to make it less hassley?
    Hermit Hugs,
    Chloƫ

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    1. Oh, thanks for the good mojo, dearie! I did help with four nature walks, made a bunch of stuff and did a little help with art class (though she doesn't need help anymore this year because their set-up is much easier and there's not much I can do). I've relaxed a bit about the volunteering. I did sign up to help set up the Winter Faire event in the Fairy Room. Other than that I don't have any other things set up. I might finally work on some deeper unpacking (giant room full of boxes and totes waiting for me--eee!), and I've been feeling more like I want to start painting a room or two.

      I definitely know what you mean. I guess it's a balance to be had. You don't want to feel overwhelmed or resentful, but you don't want to be a complete hermit and avoid all activities. Hehee. Thanks for the thoughtful input, as always!

      I am nervous, I hope some kids RSVP to Pele's birthday party. Only about 5-6 are invited, and already one person has said they won't go. But even if only 1 or 2 go, that will be good. I just don't want her to feel rejected.

      Big hugs and hope you're doing well.

      XOXOOX!

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