Thursday, April 30, 2015

Repeat Message: Quiet Time, Retreat

So, as I mentioned in the previous post, I got the Solitude card, talking about quiet, retreat, meditation, time alone. I thought this made sense right away, but apparently I needed some message reinforcing so I pulled a very similar message from two other oracles.

Every day I pull a few cards (between one and four) and post them on my phone's notepad. Yesterday I got all reversed cards, showing something being a bit topsy-turvy or ovewhelming, a blocking of some sort. Actually, two of the reversed cards were made better by the reversals, while the other two's meanings were made worse, so it's a bit of a wash. Haha.

Today's message was very redundant and clear. The cards I got were Solitude, Quiet Time and Retreat. So, I'm going to heed the message for the 2.5 hours I have alone before getting my daughter.


Solitude: Replenish Yourself

I pulled this card last night after a long day of socializing. I woke up, cleaned, folded, gave Pele breakfast, took her to school then immediately came back home, socialized for 3.5 hours in my house, then met up with my mom right after. After that I drove directly to get my daughter and she was rather insistent that I watch her routine and that I participate, and that I do this, that and the other thing. Even though none of these things were inherently bad (in fact, I really enjoyed seeing my friends and my mom and Pele, too), but I felt overloaded by input at the end of it.  I have discovered that I do rejuvenate while alone, as many people do. But I also need to balance it out by connecting with other people. I just need to be mindful of the balance. I don't regret connecting with others, generally, but I also recognize the tremendous value of time in a quiet routine.

Anyway, I guess this is probably why I don't do group things very much, and why I don't tend to do a lot of trips where I'll be constantly bombarded by stimulation, people, and events. Although I like to do things like this on occasion, it's not very frequent. I tend to get sick very easily in such situations.

I also noted the meaning of quiet and meditation as a whole with this card, something that is also a good reminder. Instead of 'filling up' we often need to empty. The emptiness is like an invitation to something new and fresh.


Monday, April 27, 2015

Cleaning House: A Literal Directive

I like this card because it has a really breezy, practical feeling to it. Whether it's emotional or physical clutter, it's a good reminder for one and all. This is particularly good right now because we were just discussing our desire to finally sort through, donate and tidy up the sun room and a couple other areas in the house. Yesterday, we had our daughter go through several boxes of her old stuff and she is willing to part with almost all of it, most of it being random pointless stuff. I'm packing it up and donating it tomorrow. Once that is done it will be a lot easier to actually set up and put the sun room in order so it no longer looks like a storage room. We wanted to do this before it got consistently warm and we were using the room more. Right now, it's an unheated room in the house (it's a 3 season sunroom) that we don't go in to for very long, but soon we'll be using it more.

Also, I plan to do some basic sweeping, cleaning and tidying of the house before I have guests (a small handful of local women friends) on Wednesday. My house isn't a giant pigsty, but I always feel better when I clean before guests arrive. Plus, it gives me ample reason and excuse to do a little spring cleaning.

Wishing you all tidy tidings,

Sunday, April 26, 2015

Encouragement: Kind Words for the Journey

The image on the lower left is from the Chrysalis Tarot. :)

Here's a card I pulled recently that I wanted to share with y'all.

There are times where we really need encouragement and external validation. I know it's not always popular to ask for validation--because it is seen as being needy or weak, but the truth is we all really blossom under the feedback and encouragement of others.

That is why I was touched by the kind words about my readings when I put out feelers earlier this week asking for testimonials for my readings. I received a couple of replies so far, and everyone was willing to say something thoughtful, which was so great. Thanks, Chloƫ!

Here's a screen shot of two such testimonials I received, and I am celebrating them! I am trying to embrace any and all positive input, no matter what.

If you can't see the small print go to my website. Anyway! I am working on allowing this sort of input, as I see how I've often isolated myself from it. As an artist, I would remove myself from the art community, seeing it as intimidating, or maybe feeling less than.

Sending you all goodness,

Friday, April 24, 2015

Nine of Mirrors: Joy and Wishes

This is a lovely card, isn't it? I love the blue and gold/brown combination. Plus, it's a just a really positive card to get. I wanted something nice to post on the blog, and when this card was pulled from my Chrysalis Tarot app I was glad. This card is often seen as the 'wish' card. Make a sincere wish or intention and put it out there. You may be surprised what happens.

Today is a good case in point. I was thinking to myself earlier this week that I would love to have a couple of tarot clients for the week, especially since money is pretty tight at the moment. I was thinking two or maybe three clients in the next week would be great. Then I sort of forgot about my little intention. Lo and behold, today I had two people approach me about a reading. One person already purchased a reading and the other one wants to set up a reading for next week! never know what will come along, and you can talk about it, put it out there, or otherwise engage in something in a sincere way to get your wishes granted. But keep in mind, it requires being receptive and then taking action on opportunities that show up.


Tuesday, April 21, 2015

None of the Above

Have you ever answered a multiple choice question which had a few options, and then a final option which was 'none of the above'?  When you ruled out the first three options you knew it had to be that. It just wasn't the other options listed there.

Now, I'm beginning to think this is somewhat the case with me and my personal interests. I tend to see things narrowly. I realized this in full technicolor recently, while I was trying, yet again, to push myself into a tight box defined as what I thought I could do, as opposed to what might exist outside of that box in a world full of possibility.

I never thought of myself as overly logical, as I value intuition and creativity above all, but I find that I've been operating largely on a left-brained level, thinking my way into and out of situations (mostly creative ventures) which seem logical (since, those things are things I 'can' do) but are largely unsatisfying to me. In my rare intuitive state I see a little tiny flicker of recognition, where I see that I'm boxing myself in, not seeing the wider array of options that I'm really open to.

For instance, how many stories have you heard of an artist who suddenly discovers they love cooking pastries and opens up an amazing organic bakery? Or the accountant turned musician? Or the lawyer who become a midwife or any number of things. It's not a logical leap. It's just a passion. As Michael Neil would say--there's nothing logical about desire. You want it because you want it, not because so and so said you should want it. Your desire is beautiful in its unreasonableness. Maybe someone wants to travel all over the world but it doesn't seem practical financially. And yet...they're really pulled to do it. And that being the case, the pull is often enough by itself to get the person there. As long as they're willing to be pulled forward by that desire and sense of exploration.

And that's where I think my main issue comes in. I'm not really willing to be pulled much of the time. I keep my creativity in a bit of a choke hold. I want to follow the breadcrumb trail of my inspiration, intuition and passion, but yet I'm also very afraid to at the same time.

Let me add that there's nothing wrong with any of the things I've done creatively. All of creativity is worthwhile and good. Whether I'm painting or writing or photo editing or making soaps or bath salts it's all good. But it may, however, not really be something I want to take on as a major thing. 

At the moment, when I find myself looking at my options, including doing tarot reading professionally, I don't feel drawn to any of it. So, I find myself choosing the sometimes uncomfortable quiet space of 'None of the above', at least at the moment, because I get the feeling there's a buried desire that I'm not following. I'm always settling for that semi-logical choice. My goal now is just to find that spark and let it turn into a bonfire, or at least a camp fire.


Saturday, April 18, 2015

Algiz: Protection and Self Belief

I pulled this rune last night. I enjoy the runes but I don't find myself particularly drawn to them most of the time, so I decided to go ahead and post this one, since I so rarely do.

A quote from about this rune:

"Courage in the face of fear is central, not the absence of fear, because fear may or may not be a warning to us that protection and defensiveness is necessary. Algiz supplies the insight necessary to make such judgments."

So, the simple message I'll take from this today is to put doubt on the back burner, suspend disbelief, and otherwise try to let go of the cloud of fear that always seems to follow me around like Pigpen, connected to any idea or endeavor I might concoct. Having fear, true fear, isn't a problem. But anxiety is just the jumpy machinations of the mind. It shouldn't stop me from living life.

Much Love,

Aries New Moon: Trust the Process

This card pull reminded me of the message of today's lunation with the New Moon in Aries.

Here's a link to several descriptions from various astrologers about this new moon. The simplest explanation is courage in new beginnings. Aries is the first sign of the zodiac and as such has an initiation sort of energy. Starting that new project, taking the initiative. Step forward in some way. So, trusting the process, as this card suggestions, is a great card to get for today.

A quote from Kelley Rosano about this new moon:

What happens when you have one foot in the boat (new life) and one foot on the dock (old life)? Yes, your butt ends up in the water. We do not have to know how the future will work out to move forward.
“You are being asked to have courage, faith and trust…The ego goes into fear because it can’t control what is happening. Control is an illusion. The only thing we can control is our response to what is happening.
“The ego is going into fear because you have never been here before. You are charting new territory. So, when the ego pulls up past occurrences that are fear based to understand your current experience. This too is an illusion.
“The past does not equal the future. In other words, you cannot define what is happening now from what has occurred in your past. You are creating the future by the choices you make today. Will you choose love or fear?
“… Ask yourself, ‘What am I afraid of today?’ Answer zero. Your power is in the present. The future will take care of itself. The past is history. It is time to be brave…”
“Mars is the ruler of Aries. He is in the sign of Taurus. Mars is reminding you to take your time. Move slowly and be more deliberate in your steps. Quality is better than quantity…”

Wishing you all well,

Friday, April 17, 2015

Six of Swords: Improvement and Silving Linings

Here's a duo of cards I pulled for today. Well, when I say today, I recognize that pulls have a longer influence than just one day (usually!) but anyway. I was thinking about my health and my general well being and motivation, and pulling these cards made sense. The Six of Swords often shows an improvement after a rocky start, and the Krishna card is about seeing the good in a potentially annoying or bad situation. Certainly being dizzy for four months and having ongoing sinus and other infections counts as annoying.

Yesterday I had my appointment with the chiropractor/nutritionist lady. It was good. I told her I'd been noticing sounds of fluid and crackling in my ears. My husband did some research and saw that the crackling noise is good because it means air is actually starting to circulate in your ears and things may be breaking up in a good way, that is.

Anyway, my chiro lady put me on an immune-boosting regime which I started yesterday, to help clear up the lingering issues. I won't go into boring detail, but that's the basic gist of it. I just have to get over the hump of whatever is triggering my ongoing sinus issues/allergies which were made worse by a nasty cold/flu in December and then just lingered for months and got into my ears. I like that, with this practitioner, she is uncovering the layers and investigating what is going on rather than just throwing drugs at me!

The Krishna card is a good reminder to see the positive side of illness. When you get sick it seems like a good call and cause to pay attention to what you're doing in your life to create such imbalance. What are you ignoring? How badly are you taking care of yourself? What are you not doing that you know you should be? Self care impacts more than just ourselves. It impacts our partners and children. So, I'm hoping to get to the bottom of this and take care of myself so that I can be healthy for myself and everyone else.

I admit it, when I woke up feeling really crappy I was starting to feel discouraged, but I realized that I could likely change how I was feeling with my actions (diet, stress management and other things), then I started to slowly work on what I could do in the moment to feel better. I started my period, my sinuses were hurting and I felt dizzy and I just generally felt bad, and yet somehow I also felt hopeful, because I knew that I was not going to accept feeling bad as my default.  I know that improvement is just around the corner. That's why these cards are a great focus for me today.

I hope everyone has a good weekend! I'll be resting and doing some low key chores.


Thursday, April 16, 2015

4 of Swords: Rest and Recover

This is an interesting version of the 4 of Swords. I love the scrolls and the purple color scheme. I also think the meanings in this deck are a bit unique. Even though they carry the seed of the traditional meaning of tarot cards, there are some unexpected twists and little nuggets of wisdom that I appreciate seeing whenever I pull using this deck. Actually, I don't have the deck itself, I have the app, but I like it a lot.

When I pulled this recently it made sense to me. I feel tired. Like many people my sleep has not been the best, which is likely exacerbated by my recent physical symptoms (ongoing issues that I'm working through, slowly), and my tendency toward anxiety. I think for the latter piece I want to do more to release the anxious thoughts. So, yes, while the literal/physical meaning of 'sleep and rest' for this card is at play--the meaning of inner peace and tranquility as a necessary foundation of health, mental and physical, is here too.

I love the last line of this description:

"In your reading, the Four of Scrolls tells you to draw your energies close so you may experience inner peace and tranquility during this time of healing and acceptance."
Today I am embracing healing and tranquility by going to my chiropractor/nutritionist/acupuncturist, even though it's not really a good idea financially right now! It's a good thing for me personally, which trumps everything else, since health is wealth!

Much Love to Y'all,

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Storm Warning, Reversed: Sunny Skies Ahead

This is an interesting card. I pulled it last night and I was glad it wasn't upright! Hah.

What came to mind when I saw this is how, when I got knocked down with a nasty cold in December, I got this mild dizziness/vertigo symptom that never went away totally. I have not been able to get rid of it (yet!) despite some effort on my part to do so. I know a handful of other people who suffered the same symptom via the same nasty cold (popping and crackling in the ears, fluid, dizziness) but while they recovered after a while (one friend, a former neighbor, told me hers lasted more than a month--closer to two), I have not managed to shake my symptom.

The problem with this is that it is a bit debilitating. If I am out too long or do too many activities in a row I get dizzy and slightly nauseated (which can become very nauseated if I take it too far). And as a result I don't feel very much like driving very far, long outings or many trips lasting more than an hour or two. I feel like it has really impacted my mood as well as my physical self. I already had some issues with my bladder, sinuses and other areas. So this is just another lovely symptom to add to the pot.

My paranoia and hypochondria crop up periodically--fearing the symptom is something dire, but then I can hear the fluid and noise deep in my ear and I feel like maybe there is hope that I can get rid of this thing once and for all. I had a vivid dream the other night that I was laying down and I suddenly heard a pop, like my ears were unclogging, and a warm flow of liquid came out of my ear. The same thing happened when I tilted to the other side. I was so frustrated when I woke up because it seemed so real.

However, methods I've used have not been successful so far. I'm hoping I don't have to take any drastic action in my ears (I'd rather not), so I'm going to a chiropractor/nutritionist/acupuncturist who is trying to help me work through this symptom (among others). I am trying to be patient. I have to say, after four months of this symptom I'm not feeling very patient. When I went to get my eye exam recently an assistant there said her mom had vertigo after her ears pressurized strangely on a boat and she didn't recover for many years, at which point she suddenly and inexplicably was relieved of the symptom. I've been researching and reading message boards of people with similar issues, and I note that many of them suffer with similar afflictions for years. I'm seriously hoping that isn't the case for me, but I feel like I must try to relax about it while continuing to try to find a solution.


Monday, April 13, 2015

Financial Constraints

Hello Dears,
I have to say...

This isn't one of my favorite cards to get from this deck!! But, like many things in life, it's usually temporary. Money ebbs and flows in life.

There are phases, sometimes long phases, where it is in short supply. But, it's also not healthy to be negatively obsessed with this. As I said to my brother today on the phone, I'd rather have creative freedom than be chained down to some job I hate, or some other circumstance I don't choose.

Anyway, this has obviously been true, but I am not going to worry too much about it. We've gone through plenty of financially dry times and survived just fine. The more I relax about it, the better it usually is. It may not be quick in letting up, and I may have to change my perspective on it while it's happening, but it's something that's manageable.

Sending abundant love,

Saturday, April 11, 2015

What Makes You Come Alive?

I had the silly thought of putting a card each in the owl eyes of this platter. I could've filled the rest of the serving plate with more cards, but I didn't have the desire to do so. Even so, the owl body looks pretty empty, but that is a good metaphor for having the blank slate of potential--the empty vessel for something new to grow into.

For some reason, upon looking at this duo of cards I thought of the quote you see above, by Howard Thurman. We spend so much time wanting to be 'of use' to be respectable, to be worthwhile. But I tend to agree with this guy who says the best thing we can do is do something that makes us come alive. I'm starting to think that's the crux of my issue when it comes to any kind of pursuit. I tend to do what I think I'm capable of--not what I might really want. Even if it makes sense externally, and other people like it, and it isn't dishonest, it still isn't what makes me come alive.

In fact, I've realized I haven't really let myself truly explore what makes me come alive. I think I stop myself with fear and limitation. Maybe starting today I will make a practice of writing down the things that I truly feel make me come alive, and not just what sounds logical that I am able to do. If I do this, I might become more in touch with what makes me come alive, and less in sync with a sense of fear or obligation.

I would love to hear from all of you. What things make YOU come alive?


Friday, April 10, 2015

10 of Swords, Left-tilted: Resisting the Plunge

I had the Motherpeace Tarot out after doing a reading for a friend, and I decided to pull a single card for myself. Often, a single card is just what I need rather than a complicated spread or even a trio. This card was pulled, left-tilted. This deck can be read as it falls in four ways: upright, reversed, left-tilted and right-tilted. Sometimes something will be slightly left-tilted and mostly upright, for instance. This gives an interesting subtlety to the readings which otherwise may not be there.

As I was telling my friend this morning (via her e-mail reading), I like using my own name as a pronoun when I read the short description in the book. For instance, for this card it would say:

"Hannah holds back on going off the edge." 

Well, if you read the upright meaning and brief description of the card you know what that means. The women shown in the picture leap into the ocean as an army chases them. They take a chance and jump off into the ocean rather than be captured. The left-tilted card is when someone hangs back from whatever energy the card represents. The right-tilted version represents someone leaning into the energy. In this instance, it would be said that I'm hesitant to leap into the unknown.

But, boy, is that true! Even if I know it will be beneficial, I still leave those swords in my back or resist jumping over into the ocean with the invading army at my back.

In a general sense, I find the 10 of Swords to be a kind of end of the road for some idea or mental state. You've reached the very end of your rope in some area, usually largely influenced by your own thinking (swords), and it does mean that a new beginning is around the corner if you can detach from the drama of the ending.

To quote from Psychic Revelations website on this card:

"...Try to bear in mind that whenever a door closes, another door opens. You are being guided to a situation that is better for you. Trust yourself and trust in the universe."

It is easy to get caught up in our drama about a situation--and usually the situation isn't even worth all that drama. It just may feel like it in the moment. Over at Truly Teach Me Tarot, there is a giant list of phrases and meanings for this card, which I think are really helpful and thought-provoking. Some of my favorites include:

(Colorful capitalization left from the original posting):

The Death of a Situation Prior to the Beginning of a New One
Flogging a Dead Horse
Final Nail in The Coffin
Darkest Hour is just before Dawn get the idea. The description below these phrases is very thorough and worth reading as well. But I feel that the 10 of Swords is a card that truly speaks for itself, though maybe not...since a lot of cards can be misinterpreted as violent when they really aren't--except on a mental level. I admit I have been in a melodramatic mood for the past couple of days, and I think it's because of an accumulation of ill feelings surrounding something that was bothering me that I wanted to release--these feelings go back many years. Rarely is something you're upset about triggered simply in a single moment. It's usually the result of a build-up of difficult feelings regarding the topic at hand. Such was the case for me this week.

Now that I see the result of my own thinking--and see that every ending brings a new beginning...I'm feeling a lot better about things.

Hope everyone has a happy weekend.


Thursday, April 9, 2015

Two More April Readings and a Decision

Here are two readings I did last night, using the Tea Leaf Fortune Cards and Shaheen's Tattered Nomad Oracle. My sense of this reading is that, even though something may not work out as planned (as is shown in the Broken Bridge card), overall there is a positive influence and good prospects available, especially if I can look beyond that broken bridge and see it.

What I realized this morning (which I think I knew all along), is that I don't really want to go into a kind of half-assed thing where I sell stuff that I don't really care that much about except on a super casual level. I don't want to be a salesman--even of creative projects. I don't feel like it's what I truly want. So, for that main reason I decided to nix the bath/body pop-up and anything else which may look/sound/feel like a 'get rich quick scheme' with creative overtones.

I want to go back to the roots of my creativity, unsullied by the feeling that I have to prove something to myself or others. What happens beyond this I don't really know--but I'd like to change how I go about things. I want to stop selling myself and just start BEING myself.


Wednesday, April 1, 2015

April Tea Leaf Fortune Cards

I decided I wanted to whip out my well-loved Tea Leaf Fortune Cards.  In some ways, this reminds me of last month's reading, though I can't quite put my finger on why. Probably because there is a similar combination of news, and a positive aspect, along with disappointment, and a need to ditch something. Quite similar energy!

There's a definite birthing of sorts--something coming to the surface in a fresh way. The Caterpillar card is something gestating--the caterpillar is not yet a butterfly, but the promise of change is there. The Stork will bring the baby, but not yet.

So, in the meantime, it seems I have to be patient with any delays, disappointments or the changing climate of things. A new day, a new opportunity will dawn if I allow it.


Spring Cleaning: Kali and a Letting Go

When I pulled this card from the Goddess Guidance App on my phone I immediately thought of how often I do things because I think I 'can' and not because I really want to, and as a result I often see the junky detritus of my half-assed endeavors strewn about my life. This is something I'm actively wanting to let go of. We all know how good it feels to have a purge of unwanted belongings--to do some spring cleaning, and that also goes on an emotional and goal level as well. We really do need a beginner's mind and a clean palate in order to see the possibilities before us.

Here's hoping for a positive spring cleaning for all!

Happy April!