Friday, December 4, 2015

Public Reading Fears and Money Woes

Here is a spread a pulled recently (a day or two ago?) and when I look at it I think it makes sense. The hard part, as many of you might attest, is putting into words why something makes sense. You can see it holistically but trying to articulate that in blog format can be a challenge. I guess that's why I opt for shorter readings rather than longer spreads. By the time I've gotten to the end of the reading I've lost the plot. That's why I single card focus can be so powerful. A reminder, an affirmation.

So let's see. I'll try to go at it card by card, but only allowing a short explanation:

The High Priestess: This made me think of tomorrow's tarot reading gig at a local art center, something I've done every year or two for the past decade or so. I'll be there for about five hours, maybe slightly longer, doing readings. The High Priestess isn't necessarily a tarot reader, but in this context I feel it's appropriate.

The Hierophant: This feels sort of official. I get this a lot for people who teach or are students. I think that meaning is the most common one. I am not teaching (even though I did teach art in this art center when I first moved up here) but it just feels official, like a kind of framework.

Nine of Swords: Anxiety. I definitely can relate to that. I feel like, even though I've done this many times before, and I've been reading for quite a long time, I still get anxious before any sort of tarot group event. I think it's partially because group energy overwhelms me. I prefer one on one readings in a very intimate setting. When it's for an event it feels a little bit like a spectacle. But anyway!

Death: I actually don't quite know what this means here, but I think it is about not fearing change, moving from one phase to the next, not being phased by it (pun intended), and allowing something new to be born. That's how my creative cycles work. I do a commission or two, then move on.

The Devil: Another kind of intense card. I see this as the negative cycle card. If we get into a habit (negative habits are definitely the domain of the Devil in tarot) we can go around and around in it. Anxiety is one very common negative habit. So is negativity in general. I find that I get caught in negative loops and then do too many screens or carbs or (insert other escape) to compensate. When anxiety runs the show is when anxiety rules and takes over--leaving us open for bad habits. 
With all these majors and one minor, I feel like this reading is showing that overall, there are a lot of big and positive things happening. I got three commissions in a row for art pieces, and I'm doing tarot readings tomorrow, but I still get caught up in negative thinking and worry (9 of Swords and Devil), and that I need to go back to the idea of trusting my intuition and being in tune with the cycles of change, seeing what needs to be dropped and where I want to go next (High Priestess/Death).

I definitely see the Devil as being about money worries as well. Many times when a client or friend gets the Devil in a reading, not only does it signify their bad habits, negative thinking or other addictions, but it also highlights a kind of fear surrounding money. They're basing their actions on being afraid of being broke and not on their inspiration. I think this is what I've been doing lately. I am investing too much emotional energy on making a quick buck rather than being calm and in touch with what would make me happiest and healthiest. The irony of this is that, even though I got three commissions recently, I actually have less money than I usually do! I think this is, in part, due to the fact that there were some recent expenses with holidays and shipping a few things, but overall I feel that there's some weird negative fixation on money that makes things worse rather than better. I see the message here to relax about it, which I plan to do now.

Much Love,

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