Tuesday, April 5, 2016
When Oracles Read Your Mind: Thinking of My Grandmother
The other night I was doing my nightly ritual (by ritual, I mean that in the loosest way possible) of unwinding and pulling some cards before bed. I like to use mellow oracle decks when doing this--as I don't want violent, insane images to haunt my sleep.
I was thinking about my maternal grandmother, and our recent visit to Texas to visit with her (along with my other grandmother and other relatives if we had the time) and how I'd felt this sense of urgency to see her, since she turns 90 this month and is losing her short term memory to such an extent that she simply cannot remember anything moment to moment.
I thought about how ambivalent I was about the trip, which we took during my daughter's spring break from school, and how part of me didn't want to see my grandma with advanced memory loss, perhaps a shadow of her former self, and how the other part of me was screaming at me urgently that if I wanted to see her I needed to go this year.
Anyway, as I reflected on the trip I thought about pulling cards about this trip, but I had no idea how the cards could possibly reflect the spring break trip to see my grandma. I thought about the only card in the deck, that I could recall, that has an older woman in it--which is that red hat lady in the Express Your Individuality card. This spunky lady reminded me of my vibrant grandmother, who I have always enjoyed and admired. Even with her considerable memory loss, I still see her this way.
In any case, I pulled four cards out of the oracle deck and turned them over. What I saw amused me. We have the Travel card, the Spring card, the Everything's OK card, and the Expressing Your Individuality card, the one that had been in my mind when thinking about my grandma. I felt like I couldn't have hand-picked better cards to represent what I had been thinking about.
In short, I was glad to have seen my grandma, and both of my grandmothers, even though it isn't really easy to see them in their current state--weakened. It still felt right, and important. It's this sort of thing that keeps me reading oracles--the things that can be plucked from the cards to affirm whatever's happening right now.