Thursday, June 23, 2016
A Card Trio: Emotional Gains
Yesterday, while I was waiting for my daughter's swimming lesson to finish, I pulled a few cards for myself. The cards I received felt fairly positive, and they seem centered around emotions because of the majority being cups. A low cups number (Ace) and a high cups number (9 of Cups), implying, maybe, a kind of sense of closure or some kind of journey taken, on an emotional level. This was paired with the 6 of Wands, a card of triumph, recognition and victory.
I find this trio interesting because, if anything, I feel as though I've been struggling emotionally. I have a moody pre-teen who is very off and on about wanting to do anything this summer--activities or socialization. On top of that, she seems irritated by me much of the time. I know well enough to know that this is more of an individuation process rather than something to take personally--because once we take things personally, that's when we begin to suffer!
But, on the other hand, she is also very capable of articulating what is going on with her, when I can get her to talk about it. She does have a great deal of emotional wisdom underneath the currently crusty exterior. Her sense of personal space and independence is paramount right now, and I'm trying to respect that rather than force her into numerous activities.
That said, however, I do put her in little classes and activities, at least the ones she approves. She's in swimming twice a week and she has a few things coming up in July: pottery wheel, a mini camp looking at music/rock and rock equipment use, etc. She wasn't fond of the dance/movement class or teacher we tried last week. And even though I'm not happy about losing the $52 on that class (you can't get a refund after the class starts), I think the other things will work out. Namely because I am just going to have her go to them regardless of what she thinks. Ha.
Anyway. Yesterday I pulled this trio. Today was sort of a rough go of it, as we had a long, semi-emotional discussion about connections and socialization, but I would consider it important and a good exchange. Maybe this trio is pointing to the wisdom of exploring emotional topics, and not skirting them. Sometimes a really good, intense conversation about something is needed to make progress on something that's been stalling.
Additionally, sometimes it's good to know what you're working with, and know the reasons behind a person's current head space so that you can go into something with clarity rather than complete frustration, as parenting often is a rich soil to grow frustration in, especially at key transition times (toddlers, puberty, etc). I'm trying to stay open to the conversation and not let myself drown in upset if things 'don't go my way' or if my daughter doesn't want to do what I think should be done. I am working on having a truly synergistic relationship with her--not one based on some kind of mutual annoyance. Haha!
So. Yes. We did still have a good outing together, the two of us, despite a bit of a tense start to the day. I can think of many scenarios (not just involving my daughter) where clearing the air, exploring our emotions did a lot of good in a relatively short amount of time.