Wednesday, April 12, 2017
Career Concerns Reading, But No Big Dealio
A month or so ago I purchased the After Tarot, a cheeky deck based on the traditional Rider-Waite-Smith, but with one very intriguing change: it's what happens a moment after the scene in the card. What a fun idea! In any case, I do love this deck, and it does add a different dimension to readings. It feels forward-thinking in a way. So...
A week or so ago I pulled this trio of cards regarding my path/career focus (hint: there isn't much of one right now, unless you count caretaking and mothering--which I actually do) but when I was pulling these cards my thoughts were more about my creative focus and not about the hard and sometimes boring work of cooking, cleaning and caretaking. In any case, I thought this was a funny and candid response from the deck.
My feelings about work and career are a bit prickly...I don't feel like I'm doing enough. I feel a bit wounded in that area--like I've been burned before and don't want to go there (3 of Swords), and I feel anxious and insecure (9 of Swords) and to top it off I feel financially nervous and insecure (5 of Pentacles) and not very good at making money.
But despite all this, I am not too bothered by this reading. It's just an accurate reflection of my thoughts on this topic--thoughts that can change any moment. For instance, looking at it now, I don't really feel badly about it at all. I can understand my feelings and not be ruled by them. I understand I'm feeling my negative thinking in the moment. But more than that--I also feel the thread of a deeper purpose flowing through my life moment to moment. I know that sounds weird and esoteric, but there's something impalpable that we can't define or put in a resume about all of our lives. The depth and importance, but also the lightness of it.
This is all temporary, and whether I make money now or not, or whether I am an artist or a banker it doesn't really matter. But what matters is living moment to moment in an inspired way, being true to myself even when I don't always know what that means. I'm creating my life in each second, and I can go back to the drawing board, or I can continue in whatever way I want. I can let things bother the crap out of me or I can look elsewhere.
I realize now more than ever (maybe seeing my elderly grandmother who has lost most of her memory has forced this perspective) that we often get stuck in ruts and take things way too seriously. Sometimes the most important work really is just being here now, both for ourselves and others.