Tuesday, June 13, 2017

Unburdening Myself: Resting and Letting Go

Click here to see the full description of this card.
I didn't sleep much last night.

My mind might have been busy and swirling with all the things I'm overthinking and fearful of. I'm not even sure. I think it was somewhat subconscious. But the stress was there.

I had a dream that my blood pressure was 189/100 (I have a tendency to have blood pressure spikes when I'm stressed) and when I woke up I knew I had to do something about this. I hadn't shaken my stress by a long shot when I started to make breakfast for my daughter (pastured eggs, fennel and red cabbage salad and one slice of GF bread with butter) but after I mentioned some concern for my daughter (I won't go into it--I'm trying to make this short) after initially being annoyed she (surprisingly gently) suggested that I need to try to take more breaks and relax more. She said that me being worried too much about her and about other things was not helping, and she commented that I might like to sit in the sun room. She said something which I thought was funny,

"You know, I'm not too upset that you're stressed by I just thought I'd try to help." 

I was really sort of touched by this. I know that my daughter has good awareness of her self and others but sometimes I forget that when she's having issues or if I'm stuck in my own quagmire and can't find my way out. Of course, I know she is impacted by my stress and vice versa. I've just felt a lot of pressure to fix certain things lately (both external and internal) and that pressure feels like it's squarely on my shoulders (10 of Wands). Anyway. This card pull from The Artist's Inner Vision Tarot is a good reminder for me to return to my center and let go of the pressures of the world and what I think I should do. There's no way I am ever going to live up to all of them anyway, even if I feel like I MUST. It's an unrealistic expectation to begin with--and the best thing I can do is do what Pele suggested--try to let go of the worrying constantly and try to rest when I can.

Love,
MM

2 comments:

  1. Wise words! So lovely that she's grown into such a caring person, though not surprising given her lovely mum ;)
    ((hugs))
    Chloƫ xoxo

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    Replies
    1. Yes, despite any troubles she is, she definitely has good awareness and wisdom beyond her years at times. :D Hugs...

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